Bristol wavepool: Watch Kanoa Igarashi and Travis Rice in “Robust enjoyment at a very expensive sanitorium!”

A new angle on the British Wavegarden tank. Better, worse, than you might imagine.

After eight months of cold labour in the English city of Bristol, one of the better cities in a country populated by people with fish smell on their breath, hideous raven hair and guinea pig faces, we have The Wave.

You read about last week’s opening day, here.

Recently, the Red Bull surf team, which includes Japan’s Kanoa Igarashi, had a day negotiating the artificial seaside and The Wave’s glistening trajectories.

A cameo from Travis Rice, the champion snowboarder, is welcome for it gives the everyman a feel for what he’ll be able to manage on the two-foot waves.

The backwash and onshore winds are perhaps not quite so appreciated.

Suggestion: If you’re booking a session at a pool, get the first wave. Always the best.

If you’re swinging to England soon, book here. Forty quid an hour.


World Premiere: Time-travel wetsuit comedy “Once Upon a Time in New Zealand”

What if a surfer from the future time travelled back to Raglan in 1984 with 2019's best wetsuits?

Time-travel Wetsuit Comedy is not the most crowded genre in the world and therefore we can be confident in announcing that our new film is among the better in its category.

Once Upon a Time in New Zealand was filmed entirely in New Zealand and features Raglan shredder and comic Luke Cederman (aka @raglansurfreport) and his troupe of surfer-actors Sam Mathers, Elliot Paerata Reid, Tux Servene and Jordan Griffin.

Last year’s wetsuit film was A New Jersey Wetsuit Fairytale starring slab-hunter Tommy Ihnken surfing around Asbury Park and cut to covers of Springsteen songs.

The conceit of this year’s film is time travel.

To wit, what if a surfer from the future time travelled back to Raglan in 1984 with 2019’s best wetsuits?

What would it mean thirty-five years on?

Would we be wearing wetsuits with wings? Purple wetsuits? Invisible wetsuits?

The film features suits from Billabong, O’Neill, Rip Curl, Feral, Quiksilver, Vissla and Xcel whose donations made this film possible. It’s a measure, a reflection, I think, of a company’s connection to surfing when they cut generous cheques to make little culture bites that may not bounce straight back onto the bottom line but do add to the game, as a whole.

We thank, therefore, Buzz Bonneau and Alex Salz (the two surfers from Ocean Beach, San Francisco, who started and who still run Feral), my former work-pal at Stab, Mimi LaMontagne, the legendary Neil Ridgway and Sam Hopgood (Rip Curl), big-wave wrangler and surf-spot pioneer Evan Slater, and Cyndal DeVasto (Billabong), O’Neill’s Technobutter™ genius Brian Kilpatrick and enduring surf star Rob Bain (O’Neill), cute-as-a-button Rob Flick (Quiksilver), team players and shredders Corey Brindley, Vince De La Peña and Steve Neiley (Vissla) and Lance Varon, Greg Wade, Courtney Kincaid and Ed D’Ascoli, whose genius keeps the New Jersey-born Xcel ahead of the curve.

Wetsuits featured:

Rip Curl 4/3 Flashbomb Heat Seeker Steamer, Billabong 5/4 Furnace, O’Neill Hyperfreak FUZE DH 4/3, Feral 4/3, Quiksilver 4/3 Highline Plus, Vissla 4/3 7 Seas, Xcel Radiant Rebound X2 4/3 

Cover versions of eighties classics I See Red, Computer Games and Not Given Lightly by master-producer and performer Pauly B, who also makes all the funny noises for Ain’t That Swell.

Filmed, edited and co-written by San Francisco’s Jack Boston.


Cavort behind-the-scenes at the Freshwater Pro with Kelly Slater!

A fascinating study of a man with everything who still wonders why…

“How did I get here?” wondered eighties band Talking Heads.

Watching this new episode of the WSL’s excellent Sound Waves series, which features Kelly Slater at the Freshwater Pro, his backyard pool, you get the feeling that it don’t matter if a man has a late-model Cadillac, flawlessly tailored ice-cream silk suits and a Kewpie Doll wife with a reddish tan and platinum hair, he will always be beset by feelings of inferiority, anxiety, confusion.

To wit, Kelly Slater.

Eleven titles. Millions of shekels. Sweet girl.

Owns a piece of the world’s most perfect wave.

And, yet, the terror of losing aches his gullet.

It’s a few hours to Portugal, so let’s watch the behind-the-scenes machinations of the greatest surfer ever dealing with the internal torment of a career in its twilight.


Coming soon: Relatively funny time-travel wetsuit comedy, “Once Upon a Time In New Zealand!”

Spectacular costumes, adult themes, some mild drug use…

This Thursday at two pm, LA time, and, Friday, eight am, Bondi time, we gonna loose our new wetsuit film.

Last year it was A New Jersey Wetsuit Fairytale starring slab-hunter Tommy Ihnken and cut to covers of Springsteen songs. The conceit of this year’s film, starring Raglan shredder and comic Luke Cederman (aka @raglansurfreport) and his troupe of surfer-actors Sam Mathers, Elliot Paerata Reid, Tux Servene and Jordan Griffin, is time travel.

What if a surfer from the future time travelled back to Raglan in 1984 with 2019’s best wetsuits?

What would it mean thirty-five years on?

Would we be wearing wetsuits with wings? Purple wetsuits? Invisible wetsuits?

The film features suits from Billabong, O’Neill, Rip Curl, Feral, Quiksilver, Vissla and Xcel whose donations made this film possible.

Cover versions of eighties classics I See Red, Computer Games and Never Lightly by master-producer and performer Pauly B, who also makes all the funny noises for Ain’t That Swell.


Watch Mason Ho in: “Poetic punishment for hot delinquent pussy!”

Give it to me daddy…

This is a short novelty film, starring dynamic midget Mason Ho, thirty years old from Sunset Beach and Ho family scion, and made in two parts.

Nine days ago, Mason was filmed, along with his pal Sheldon Paishon, surfing a mock heat at a greasy rock-break which, according to director Rory Pringle, they’d never surfed before.

“Lots of Pohaku (rocks), thats why its called the Pohaku Division,” writes Rory.

In the second half we see Mason and his Uncle Derek, who was the world champion in 1993, beating even Kelly Slater at his early peak, whipping up a lil magic at Velzyland, a locals-only sorta joint east of Sunset.

“Mason’s truly one if my favorite surfers to watch,” says Kelly Slater. “You never know what he’s gonna do. He throws style points back to his influences and elders, and throws down maneuvers lots of new school guys can’t pull. And he surfs those weird waves nobody else does, which is probably my favorite thing about him.”

Watch etc.