Guinness world record holding surfer unveils isolated surf community in hamlet famous as setting for neo-western TV hit Yellowstone!

Trussed up in much rubber, Dylan Graves tames the wild and unruly waters, surfing as elastic as an after-birth vagina.

The last time the Puerto Rican heartthrob Dylan Graves was on these pages, he had just smashed the world record for most manoeuvres on a wave, a leg-trembling forty turns on a Sumatran tidal bore.

(An obscure record previously held by Cristóbal de Col for 34 turns on a wave at Chicama in Peru, occasionally and lazily referenced as the world’s longest lefthander. Graves, who is thirty-seven, submitted the ride to the Guinness people and is still awaiting confirmation of his astonishing feat.)

In his latest adventure Graves joins up with a Montana surfer called KB who has a voice that could bite the fat off a taxi-cab driver’s neck, as full of vibrations of power as those machines which rout out grooves in wood, to surf several river waves that look like tornado puke.

The water is very murky and very cold and the danger obvious, but the impulse to clown is impulsive to Grave and, trussed up in much rubber, he tames the wild and unruly waters, surfing as elastic as an after-birth vagina.

What’s most interesting, is the sort of surfboard that works in these waves: wide, flat, shovel-nosed things, so white and rectangular they look like body-of-Christ wafers.

Click play and hear the scripture.


Surf prodigy godson of Kelly Slater stars in Mexican-themed film described as a “savage, breezy, occasionally obscene and sometimes poignant mix of laughs and surfing!”

Jackie Dorian employs his razzle dazzle on Oaxaca’s famous sand-bottom points!

In this fourteen-minute featurette from Jackson Dorian, the sixteen-year-old son of Shane Dorian and godson of literal God Kelly Slater, we find the preternaturally talented kid employing his razzle dazzle on Oaxaca’s famous sand-bottom points.

Many highlights, too many to mention as per all of Jackie’s edits, but it’s the chemistry with the noted board collector and stylish obese shredder Uncle Buggs that is perfect; Jackie, a little dynamo, Buggs, perhaps three times his volume, drawing Curren-esque lines.

And, some of the roll-ins Jackie gets at the five-and-a-half minute mark, ooowee-oo etc.

Stylistically, this short is like Jackie himself: bold, quick and effortlessly entertaining.

Watch Lisa Andersen biopic “Trouble” for free, “Raging and fighting and surfing like a gorgeous disaster!”

“She's the first woman to cross over into surfing celebrityhood and achieve a dominance that made the pig dudes shut up and take notice."

Six years ago, Chas Smith was commissioned by clothing giant Roxy to create a documentary on the four-time world champ Lisa Andersen, the gal whose surfing made most male shredders look they were using orthopaedic aids.

It wasn’t an easy ride for the Cardiff-based writer and director, trawling through hours of ex-boyfriend Dave Parmenter’s videos of the pair, mowing through editors, navigating the conflicting approaches of his v Roxy’s, deadlines that existed in only an ephemeral form, Smith getting his nourishment almost entirely from soft drinks, and a budget that quickly evaporated as Smith spent American dollars as if it were Italian lire.

The result, “Trouble”, surprised the hell out of me, the story of a wounded bird that didn’t know where to beat its wings, an immutable sadness masked by vivacity.

“She’s the first woman to cross over into surfing celebrityhood and achieve a dominance that made the pig dudes shut up and take notice,” wrote Outside magazine in 1996.

As Chas tells it,

“She lived on the beach and in her car before being taken in by an abusive local surfboard shaper. She was, in fact, often abused in relationships, running away time and again when things got too bad. Or when she felt trapped. Or when the system threw up barriers.

“In the water, she was something else entirely, raging and fighting and surfing like a gorgeous disaster but could never quite put it all together, competitively, until career suicide presented itself in the form of an unexpected pregnancy. Over objections and common sense, she decided to have the child and in so doing magically broke through and achieved her dream of becoming a champ.

“Trouble follows Lisa on her all too human journey. Surf is a beautiful backdrop but the real story is the epic poem of her life. It is the struggles, abuse, pain and joy. It is the story of a modern, self-made American woman.”

To watch, it used to cost five bucks to rent. Now, free!

What fun, boys.


Surfer rides 2.5 km-long tube in west Africa; films groundbreaking event on POV camera!

“Logging late-night hours online, I studied the the terrain, bathymetry, people, marine life, weather-patterns, the cost, travel, logistics…"

In this compelling video, see the German-Portuguese shredder Nikolaus von Rupp get barrelled for roughly two-and-a-half clicks at Namibia’s famous Skeleton Bay, which is roughly 25 kms south of the town of Swakopmund.

Von Rupp, who is thirty two, cannot live without the transcendence of tube riding, a place where he can lose his ego for a moment, the indispensable elevator that raises his phallus to its fullest height.

Skeleton Bay, as you know, was  brokered to the world by a magazine and a computer nerd in 2007.

The Google Earth challenge was a Surfing magazine initiative to shoot a little out of the box, readers using the then new Google Earth tech to discover secret waves.

Deal was, you tell the mag, they let you join a photo shoot to the joint.

Brian Gable, an IT specialist, was a runner-up to the contest in 2007 (a wave in Western Sahara was chosen though no trip was made).

His loss drove him nuts.

“From that moment, I committed to nothing else,” Gable wrote. “Logging some serious late-night hours online, I focused on studying the country, the terrain and bathymetry, the people, the marine life, weather-patterns, the cost, travel, logistics, etc. I corresponded with locals halfway around the world. Obsessed and possessed, I selfishly put personal and professional duties aside and spent my days formulating the ultimate package for the ultimate magazine surf trip. To me, it wasn’t just a free adventure for myself. It was a chance to prove that the gem I found not only stood up to every other world-class setup, but was on the very short list at the top. Then, on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 at 10:03 AM, I got the call. First prize, the Indians take the pennant, the whole freakin’ enchilada!”

Skeleton Bay, of course, is now a photo studio, Von Rupp just one of dozens of pro’s squeezing its sides.

Better than snorting crystal blow, as old-timers used to say.

World’s smartest surfer Nathan Florence reveals mind-blowingly simple hack for surfing one of Australia’s best waves without crowds!

“It’s literally firing but since Surfline didn’t say we can’t go out there!”

Nathan Florence, the Prince Harry lookalike brother of surf Olympian John John Florence and who is rightly lauded as the “world’s smartest surfer”, has revealed his mind-blowingly simple hack for surfing The Box empty.

The Box, of course, is a “slab” wave just north of Margaret River Main Break, a vastly inferior wave to The Box but where a tour event is held every year.

In the latest instalment of his excellent YouTube series, Florence explains the key to surfing The Box without the flotilla of media in the channel and its accompanying flotsam in the lineup.

“This funny thing happens,” says the extremely intelligent and capable Florence, “…if no one is out at The Box no one will paddle out. As soon as people paddle out the whole CT jumps on it. This morning we waited… everyone goes to the other surf spots, The Box is empty none is out, it’s pumping, spitting barrels…now that we waited everyone is committed to the other spots.”

Here, Florence, who is twenty-nine, takes the viewer into his confidence.

“Tactical. It’s literally firing. If they would just look at it they would see spitting barrels but since it’s not forecasted…”

And, here, the viper’s tongue, oozing with sarcasm, drops to a whisper for added effect,

“Surfline didn’t say (so) we can’t go out there!”