Trussed up in much rubber, Dylan Graves tames the wild and unruly waters, surfing as elastic as an after-birth vagina.
The last time the Puerto Rican heartthrob Dylan Graves was on these pages, he had just smashed the world record for most manoeuvres on a wave, a leg-trembling forty turns on a Sumatran tidal bore.
(An obscure record previously held by Cristóbal de Col for 34 turns on a wave at Chicama in Peru, occasionally and lazily referenced as the world’s longest lefthander. Graves, who is thirty-seven, submitted the ride to the Guinness people and is still awaiting confirmation of his astonishing feat.)
In his latest adventure Graves joins up with a Montana surfer called KB who has a voice that could bite the fat off a taxi-cab driver’s neck, as full of vibrations of power as those machines which rout out grooves in wood, to surf several river waves that look like tornado puke.
The water is very murky and very cold and the danger obvious, but the impulse to clown is impulsive to Grave and, trussed up in much rubber, he tames the wild and unruly waters, surfing as elastic as an after-birth vagina.
What’s most interesting, is the sort of surfboard that works in these waves: wide, flat, shovel-nosed things, so white and rectangular they look like body-of-Christ wafers.
Click play and hear the scripture.