Fanning and the incubus.

Watch: The ritual humiliation of Mick Fanning by incubus Morgan Cibilic in “The Nightmare!”

Derek Rielly

By

A new epic from the studio of Vaughan Blakey…

The new film by Rip Curl, which was made by broadcaster, writer and minstrel Adam “Vaughan” Blakey, is encrusted with priceless gems, notably the opening scene where we find Morgan visited by Mick Fanning in a dream.

(Rewind Mick saying, “Seeya” with a wounded mask.)

If there was any doubt that Rip Curl may’ve lost its very Australian, lightly tongue-in-cheek approach to marketing, a direction steered by ex-Tracks editor Neil Ridgway, after the sale of the company for three-hundred and fifty million dollars to camping retailer Kathmandu, this film quickly grenades it.

There are familiar routines but the film is quickly beclouded with Blakey’s vulva steam.

Essential viewing.

Comments
0
Load Comments
0

Big-wave awards roast: Watch Jamie O’Brien and Kaipo Guerrero give hell to Big-Wave Award winners: “(Keala’s wave) was a scorpion tomahawking down the face!”

Derek Rielly

By

Good-ish times at JOB's Pipe house…

Want a little background noise, the chatter of two likeable North Shore habitués, various clips of Jaws and Nazaré and cameos from gorgeous Kai Lenny and the world’s second openly gay surfing world champion among others?

The video, below, is hosted by Jamie O’Brien, who is 190 pounds of rock hard muscle with  40 pounds of sturdy protective fat and who says “A big gut helps you breathe bigger and better” and ultra-handsome Kaipo Guerrero who, in the words of Mason Ho “macked Madonna” in 1985. 

Comments
0
Load Comments
0
Wall ride!

Watch: Mason Ho jiggles his thumb tips against Palm Spring Surf Club’s pygmy dingus!

Derek Rielly

By

Wall rides, fin-first tubing etc.

This short film, starring Mason Ho and Coco Ho, is extremely confusing, wall-rides, fins-first tube riding, but you quickly learn to ignore the details and just watch the glam cast have fun.

“Mason Ho is a saviour from the fucking corporate, straight-laced, uptight, fucking, pre-planned-interview-answer surfing world we live in today,” says anti-commie shaper Matt Biolos. “He’s everything that people think surfing is, and should be, when you think of all the beautiful stereotypes, like from the fucking Beach Boys to fricken’ Sean Penn to Big Wednesday. Mason is fucking incredibly fun to watch surf two-foot junk and 12-foot Pipeline. He’s what everyone’s selling, without trying. He’s the most real guy out there. We’re fortunate to have him in our lives.”

A movie that engrosses, hypnotizes and clings to the memory long after the final frame

Comments
0
Load Comments
0
Soli Bailey lays out some booze to cushion his jet lag.

Watch “Junoesque” Solomon Storm Bailey in “I despise the hypocrisy of my immoral peers who parade like Gods of Olympus!”

Derek Rielly

By

Gobble meticulously prepared bait…

I’m a sucker for believable, beautifully made, and paralyzingly suspenseful epics about brave people in the middle of the ocean battling overwhelming odds against nature to stay alive, but rarely have I seen one that can hold an audience hostage like Soli… Every element is so perfect that it left me shaking and devastated.

And, it’s a love story, too.

Writes the filmer Morgan Maasen,

“(Ten years ago), I was immediately struck by the incredible demeanour of the teenager. Polite, quiet, but so fiercely determined to make his mark, Soli was rising through the junior ranks and dreaming of make the World Tour. As time went on, we crossed paths countless times in random, far-flung places… but this last year i was bestowed both the pleasure of travel with him to Indonesia to score perfect waves, and to watch his inaugural year competing on the tour. The highs of his performances in incredible surf, and lows of watching him struggle with the complexities – and literal luck – that comes with being a professional surfer, was nothing short of amazing, and as I release this short film, I cannot express how proud I am of this human’s fruition into a young adult.”

 

 

Comments
0
Load Comments
0
Uncle Dez, a man with a big rep. Rory Pringle

Watch: Mason Ho’s tribute to his Uncle Derek, “He was a scientist of fun! Rest in peace, power and love!”

Derek Rielly

By

"He was blown out of the barrel more than most will know."

Two weeks ago, the great Derek Ho, brother to Michael, uncle to Mason and Coco, four-time Triple Crown winner, two-time Pipe Master and Hawaii’s first-ever men’s world champ (1993) died, aged fifty-five.

In this twelve-miinte short from Mason Ho and Rory Pringle, we get what Mason describes as a “tiny glimpse into UNCLE D’s final 5 years. All clips were filmed in the last 5 years. You can see he was living life to the fullest till the very end! This man was/is an INCREDIBLE Father, Brother, Uncle, Husband & Friend. Always inspiring people around him and BLOWING MINDS in the water or on land. The first ever Hawaiian World Champion. A scientist of FUN! 100% one of the Kings of Pipeline and was blown out of the barrel more than most will know. We will forever carry on your energy and passion for life and surfing.”

Comments
0
Load Comments
0
Photo: Justin Jay/@justinjayphoto
EAT BEACHGRIT SPAM!
It's Daily!