Matt Warshaw: “A familiar dab of bile in my throat!”

Surfing in the Olympics causes stern rebuke from our grand historian.

Surfer Magazine, hot on the investigative heels of your very own BeachGrit, published their take on surfing in the Olympics today (read ours from last week!) and it seems like the surf community is v v conflicted!

Tay Knox tells Surfer‘s Ashtyn (what a name!), “Yes. Surfing should be an Olympic sport!” But his nickname is also Captain America and, I would imagine, he loves rubbing the world’s nose in our national superiority.

Sean Doherty tells her, “No, no and no.” But maybe Sean did bad in P.E. and is shy.

Gabs Medina, riding high on the Brazilian Storm says, “Yes. It would be a great honor to represent my country.” Of course. Order and Progress.

Matt Warshaw says, “Surfing in the Olympics makes me barf. Like, vomit all over everything. Fuck you for asking me this question and fuck the police…” (quote author’s own but sort of approximates the truth…)

I agree with Matt Warshaw.

In other Olympic news, study the above picture for a mo. Look at how many people are watching surfing at the Olympics. I don’t think it is a stretch to say 250,000. With that much momentum, and rabid passion, it will probably be hard to keep it out.

I am sorry Matt Warshaw.

 


Kelly Slater Fiji
Oh Kelly! Look behind! Look behind! A little baby doll creeps up on you!

Tour Notes: A Fijian Finish!

Kelly Slater’s thousand-dollar wave, dreamy Restaurants and salvation through beer!

Look what momma got you! Oh Momma! Plunge it into me!

Here, one day after Owen Wright skinned Julian Wilson at  the Fiji Pro, we enter the blurry halo of the tour just before and just after its conclusion as created by Tour Notes’ Peter King.

“Just your basic millionaire vay-cay in surf paradise,” says King.

Adjust your boxers and jerk this thing… on!


Australia's Best Beach House
Architecture? Who needs it? You're thinking about gallons of Patron and boys and gals sprawled all over the couches and chairs, the clean hot shafts of sun ripping into all that bare flesh! What fun y'could have here!

Gimme: the $30-mill house of former Billabong Director!

Who knew surf could so pay!

Mermaid Beach is one of those joints that doesn’t get a lot of press when you’re talking Gold Coast. I might even suggest that unless you’ve lived there, you’ve never heard of it.
And y’should. It’s an uncrowded balm to the craziness of Snapper and Burleigh and Kirra and D-bah and everywhere else. In winter, when the wind blows north-west and there’s enough swell kicking around Point Danger, you’ll find a surprising haul of empty-ish waves.
Scott Perrin, the former Bilalbong director, but not the director who is, uh, in a little trouble with various bookmakers and banks etc, that’s his brother Matt, is selling his crib Tidemark at Mermaid Beach.
Australia's Best Beach House
The house of former Billabong director Scott Perrin, brother of the other former Billabong director Matthew Perrin, who’s about to go on trial for multi-million dollar fraud.
Now this ain’t no ordinary house. World-class? Yeah it is. On a combined land parcel of almost 3000 square metres. A sublime Frank Lloyd Wright-esque design, which is rare on this garish strip. Six beds. Six crappers. A retracing glass and copper roof. Steam rooms, naturally, sauna, two kitchens and a separate teppanyaki pavilion. The underground garage will hold 11 cars, it has a separate caretaker or mistress cabin and accommodation for up to six staff.
Australia's Best Beach House
The house is known as Tidemark and has 30 rooms with a separate caretaker’s residence, an 11-car garage and a glass roof that is totally retractable.
Out front? Beachbreaks for miles. Good beachbreaks. Outer banks that’ll hold six foot toobs.
Australia's Best Beach House
This thing squats on nearly 3000 square metres (three parcels joined together) of prime beachfront land. Because all the cribs cost millions and their owners are either at work, in jail (fraud!) or overseas, the waves are… uncrowded.
Anyway, if you want and you’ve got tween 20 and 30 mill? Buy here! 

owen Wright fiji pro 2015
"I had a little quiet time to myself," said Owen Wright after scoring a perfect 20-point total in the final of the Fiji Pro. "I knew it was going to turn on. I knew I had to be in rhythm. They were comin' and I was going to take 'em." | Photo: WSL

Winner: Owen Wright skins Julian Wilson, Fiji Pro.

Owen Wright wins Fiji Pro! With two 10-point rides!

History? Yeah, it is.

Yesterday, Owen Wright, the 25-year-old Australian, rode a perfect heat. Today, he became the first surfer to score two perfect heat totals in the one event.

This time in a one-sided final against Julian Wilson, 20.00 to 7.84.

“I had a little quiet time to myself watching it,” said Owen afterward, tongue at last loosed. “I knew it was going to turn on. I knew they were coming and I was takin’ ’em.”

When O exited a long barrel earlier in the heat, completely unalarmed, he scored ten. Joe Turpel described it as a “thing of beauty.”

Later, a longer barrel, and Owen lifted his head up and yelled, “Give it to me! Give it to me! I want another twenty!”

And he got it. Watch the final!

“Holy smokes! We meet again!” Striker said to Owen.

And here’s Owen’s perfect heat yesterday.

En route, Kai Otton got smoked real good on the reef.

He’s alive!

Fiji Pro Final Results:
1: Owen Wright (AUS) 20.00
2: Julian Wilson (AUS) 7.84

Fiji Pro Semifinal Results:
SF 1: Julian Wilson (AUS) 11.50 def. Taj Burrow (AUS) 8.66
SF 2: Owen Wright (AUS) 16.93 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 16.57

Fiji Pro Quarterfinal Results:
QF 1: Julian Wilson (AUS) 17.36 def. Italo Ferreira (BRA) 17.00
QF 2: Taj Burrow (AUS) 13.37 def. Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 7.40
QF 3: Owen Wright (AUS) 16.60 def. Joel Parkinson (AUS) 12.84
QF 4: Jeremy Flores (FRA) 16.83 def. Kai Otton (AUS) 12.90

2015 WSL Jeep Leaderboard Top 5 (after Fiji Pro):
Adriano de Souza (BRA) 28,000 pts
Filipe Toledo (BRA) 27,450 pts
Owen Wright (AUS) 26,250 pts
Mick Fanning (AUS) 24,950 pts
Julian Wilson (AUS) 23,450 pts

 

 


Candid: I have Eighteen Months to Live!

The surfer turned marine Michael Kocher is dying of spine cancer. But he ain't crying about it. Here's what he plans to do… 

“To die will be such a grand adventure”

– Peter Pan

As I’ve written on Beach Grit before, I have a cancer that attacks the spinal cord. Two weeks ago, I was told treatment included an 80 per cent chance of at least partial-paralysis below the waist, sexual function included.

No surfing, no snowboarding, no swimming, no wakeboarding, no running, no walking, no fucking, no living and thus, for me, no thank you.

They’re giving me eighteen to thirty months, give or take six months on either end. Every six months that I survive the chance I’ll die in the following six months increases exponentially.

One to three years to do everything I ever wanted to do in life. It’s a brutal fucking clock, but a clock of my own making and one hat is alienating me from my friends and family. Most people don’t understand the idea of living three years to the fullest being better than living another thirty in a chair.

The choice was made, no treatment. The choice is, and was, the right choice. The choice was made with all feelings, scenarios and people taken into consideration.

Yet I find myself, day after day, defending my choice, defending my existence as a free-thinking human being. So you ask what it’s like to live with a clock on your existence? It’s the most annoying and frustrating experience of my life.

Not from the dying, I’m content with that. But how needy everyone around you gets all of a sudden. They need reassurance, they need comfort, they need explanations and everyone wants to tell you how angry they are that you would rather die on your feet, or on a surfboard, as in my case it will be, than live in a chair. How angry they are that you won’t be there to watch children grow, etc. I’m not cruel. I love them all and know that this neediness also comes from a place of love, but I’m the one who’s dying. Why is it easiest for me to accept?

Right now, it’s completely surreal since I’m still stage one and thus don’t feel sick at all, except for the flare-ups of pain in my spine now and again. But that’s why baby Jesus invented Jack and Coke and Aleve.

I have big plans for the time I have left. I’ve done more in 31 years than most people will do their entire lives. I’ve been to 37 countries, 44 states, most of the Canadian provinces and Mexican States. I’ve had dolphins play with my feet while the sun sets huge over beautiful Pacific lines. I’ve watched the sun rise over 14,000 foot peaks with people I wouldn’t replace with anyone in the world and I’ve done it all by refusing to give in.

There’s more left to be done though, more to change, more to live, more to love, more to fuck, and more to ride.

So I’ll fuck, I’ll ride, and I’ll change and I’ll do all these things while caring for the needs of everyone around me because I’m a big fucking puppy and you gotta take care of your pack.

But while I’m doing that I’ll be looking forward to that last day that we’ll call the end of pain.

The end of pain is a good thing and will be a great day.