Come surf New Jersey! It’s kinda ok!

It's just fresh to death! Men in white capri pants and so much nineties styling. It's a swarthy heaven! Even tubes!

Maybe it’s the cold. Yes, it has to be the increasingly unbearable winters that have cryogenically stagnated the entire coastline in New Jersey. From the rundown boardwalks to the men standing on the beds of their pick-up trucks doing the best  they can to appear as if they are the bassist for some low-brow band opening up for Pennywise, this state has a bit of trouble with figuring out what year it is.

If you’re staring down the boardwalk, the vendors will say it’s the 1970’s. But if you’re in the parking lot of your favourite surf spot, you would think that the Warped Tour was still in its infancy. Baggy clothing, black hats, and SRH stickers. Like all punk bands from the early 90’s, this style is long past its expiration date.

The first thing you need to know about New Jersey is that it’s only purpose is to serve as a residency for people that live in New York. Its second purpose is to serve as a place where all trends that died in New York can get a second life. Sequestered between New York and that refuse-collecting city we call Philadelphia, is a state that can be divided into two categories: the North and South.

The south is mostly backwoods and farmland with exception of Camden, a city so dangerous that Vice devoted a segment of their TV show to it, while the north is full of even more cities with high crime rates, a ton of malls and highways that lead to even more malls.  During the summer months, both cities empty and fill up the New Jersey coastline bring with them massive traffic jams, really muscular men wearing white capris with white tank tops, and really bad waves.

New Jersey is full of contradictions. The human being that surfs in New Jersey will tell you how hardcore their state is and how there is no place on earth like it all while sitting in a bar decorated with fake palm trees and a “Welcome to Key West” sign. They will complain, like Holden Caulfield, that too many “phonies” are seeing their favourite band perform but then argue that the same band doesn’t get enough praise. They will yell at you for exposing an unknown spot but then use that unknown spot to gain more Instagram followers. Fortunately for Jersey surfers, poor sartorial choices and bizarre logic don’t equate to poor wave-riding skills.

Just as the deep fried Oreos are being pulled off the boardwalk at the end of summer, the waves begin to fill in and big south-wind swells will frequent the area until the middle of spring. The water stays relatively warm until the middle of November with a 4/3 and booties being the standard for most surfers. However, in the spring, the water can still be very cold well into May and even as late as June. Most of New Jersey works best with south-east swell and a light west wind. Here are some of the best surf spots in New Jersey.

Sandy Hook: This beautiful National Park, home to the wild goats that were made famous during the 2013 Government shutdown, epitomises pointbreak surfing on the eastern seaboard of the Continental US. Sandy Hook is a barrier island situated to the south of New York City. This is the best surf spot in New Jersey when it’s on. The only issue is that the main break, called The Cove, on the seven-mile stretch of land is also a magnet for morons that can’t surf. However, it’s worth the nuisance because there is nothing like getting shot out of a righthand barrel as you stare out at the palatial New York skyline.

Cape May: When the wind is blowing north-east and the swell is just right, the tip of Cape May will mirror Sandy Hook with its endless lefts that are perfect for the goofyfooter or those looking to just pig-dog it in five mm of neoprene.

Every jetty and inlet between Cape May and the Hook: This isn’t an exaggeration. Every couple of blocks there are jetties in New Jersey that can create a wave that is rippable in some form so long as you’re not some curmudgeon that will only paddle out when the waves are the easiest to surf. They are so fun to surf, especially in the winter when it’s 35 degrees out and you can find your very own empty jetty to surf because all the sane people in the world are sitting by their space heater or up in the mountains drinking beer and snowboarding. Dredging can ruin a surf spot, but that only lasts for about a year and in the winter, all the sand is removed from the jetties creating wonderful sand-bars that can pick up the faintest of swell.

Being that it’s so damn cold for three to four months of the year, the social circles that usually develop at surf spots are almost non-existent. Sure, friends will meet and share the waves, but a spot check in the middle of the winter is usually done from the safety of a warm car or a very brief run across the beach. A very fucking brief run. Once the surf session is over, you’re back in the car blasting the heat and flying home to hop in a hot shower.

New Jersey is not, and never will be, synonymous with surfing. However, on any given swell, it’s not uncommon to see a surfer with no stickers on their board pull into a below sea-level barrel and make it out of the tunnel. The quality of surfing here is very good given how scarce waves can be and  as the surfing grows, skilled grommets are forcing out the old antediluvian surfers of the pre-Kai Neville world the same way the state government forced many residents along the coastline out of their homes via eminent domain.