New Jersey postcard

Come surf New Jersey! It’s kinda ok!

It's just fresh to death! Men in white capri pants and so much nineties styling. It's a swarthy heaven! Even tubes!

Maybe it’s the cold. Yes, it has to be the increasingly unbearable winters that have cryogenically stagnated the entire coastline in New Jersey. From the rundown boardwalks to the men standing on the beds of their pick-up trucks doing the best  they can to appear as if they are the bassist for some low-brow band opening up for Pennywise, this state has a bit of trouble with figuring out what year it is.

If you’re staring down the boardwalk, the vendors will say it’s the 1970’s. But if you’re in the parking lot of your favourite surf spot, you would think that the Warped Tour was still in its infancy. Baggy clothing, black hats, and SRH stickers. Like all punk bands from the early 90’s, this style is long past its expiration date.

The first thing you need to know about New Jersey is that it’s only purpose is to serve as a residency for people that live in New York. Its second purpose is to serve as a place where all trends that died in New York can get a second life. Sequestered between New York and that refuse-collecting city we call Philadelphia, is a state that can be divided into two categories: the North and South.

The south is mostly backwoods and farmland with exception of Camden, a city so dangerous that Vice devoted a segment of their TV show to it, while the north is full of even more cities with high crime rates, a ton of malls and highways that lead to even more malls.  During the summer months, both cities empty and fill up the New Jersey coastline bring with them massive traffic jams, really muscular men wearing white capris with white tank tops, and really bad waves.

New Jersey is full of contradictions. The human being that surfs in New Jersey will tell you how hardcore their state is and how there is no place on earth like it all while sitting in a bar decorated with fake palm trees and a “Welcome to Key West” sign. They will complain, like Holden Caulfield, that too many “phonies” are seeing their favourite band perform but then argue that the same band doesn’t get enough praise. They will yell at you for exposing an unknown spot but then use that unknown spot to gain more Instagram followers. Fortunately for Jersey surfers, poor sartorial choices and bizarre logic don’t equate to poor wave-riding skills.

Just as the deep fried Oreos are being pulled off the boardwalk at the end of summer, the waves begin to fill in and big south-wind swells will frequent the area until the middle of spring. The water stays relatively warm until the middle of November with a 4/3 and booties being the standard for most surfers. However, in the spring, the water can still be very cold well into May and even as late as June. Most of New Jersey works best with south-east swell and a light west wind. Here are some of the best surf spots in New Jersey.

Sandy Hook: This beautiful National Park, home to the wild goats that were made famous during the 2013 Government shutdown, epitomises pointbreak surfing on the eastern seaboard of the Continental US. Sandy Hook is a barrier island situated to the south of New York City. This is the best surf spot in New Jersey when it’s on. The only issue is that the main break, called The Cove, on the seven-mile stretch of land is also a magnet for morons that can’t surf. However, it’s worth the nuisance because there is nothing like getting shot out of a righthand barrel as you stare out at the palatial New York skyline.

Cape May: When the wind is blowing north-east and the swell is just right, the tip of Cape May will mirror Sandy Hook with its endless lefts that are perfect for the goofyfooter or those looking to just pig-dog it in five mm of neoprene.

Every jetty and inlet between Cape May and the Hook: This isn’t an exaggeration. Every couple of blocks there are jetties in New Jersey that can create a wave that is rippable in some form so long as you’re not some curmudgeon that will only paddle out when the waves are the easiest to surf. They are so fun to surf, especially in the winter when it’s 35 degrees out and you can find your very own empty jetty to surf because all the sane people in the world are sitting by their space heater or up in the mountains drinking beer and snowboarding. Dredging can ruin a surf spot, but that only lasts for about a year and in the winter, all the sand is removed from the jetties creating wonderful sand-bars that can pick up the faintest of swell.

Being that it’s so damn cold for three to four months of the year, the social circles that usually develop at surf spots are almost non-existent. Sure, friends will meet and share the waves, but a spot check in the middle of the winter is usually done from the safety of a warm car or a very brief run across the beach. A very fucking brief run. Once the surf session is over, you’re back in the car blasting the heat and flying home to hop in a hot shower.

New Jersey is not, and never will be, synonymous with surfing. However, on any given swell, it’s not uncommon to see a surfer with no stickers on their board pull into a below sea-level barrel and make it out of the tunnel. The quality of surfing here is very good given how scarce waves can be and  as the surfing grows, skilled grommets are forcing out the old antediluvian surfers of the pre-Kai Neville world the same way the state government forced many residents along the coastline out of their homes via eminent domain.


Dane Reynolds and his French bulldog Pam
Come a little closer, like Dane here, and breathe in Pam's rich polish. It's so restorative! "I give Dane the gift of letting him feel powerful," says Pam. | Photo: Courtney Jaedtke

Ask Pam: straights and dreamers. (Now with audio!)

This week: should I leave my boy, I ain't happy and… pro surfing? Should I become?

Pam Reynolds, four years old, got advice! “He shall redeem their soul from deceit and violent: and precious shall their blood be in their site. Psalm 72:14.’ Relax, BeachGrits, it’s the same French bulldog. She nods and winks. And each time she speaks a wave of warmth just fizzes through! Redeem your soul below.


Dear Pam, 

I don’t have any haunting, life-threatening problems but, as a Millennial I feel… numb. Do you ever get that feeling of hopelessness, of pushing a heavy load, with nose, up a perpetual incline? How can I find my joy? 

Edie, Marseille.


Dear Pam, 

I want to ditch my life in an office and become a “professional surfer”. Do you know anything about this business? Is it a hard “nut” to crack? Is there money in it? Do compromises have to be made? 

Yair, Tel Aviv. 


Dear Pam,

Should I leave my boyfriend, who loves me, but seems unwilling to commit to a physical relationship. 

Serious, Encinitas. 

Empty wave at the Billabong Pro Tahiti 2014
"Sitting on its shoulder, peering into its heart, watching it race and explode and swing wide. Watching the pod of surfers panic. Watching one spin, commit, drop, get drilled, not get killed. Watching the closeouts. Watching the lip. Feeling it pound. Asking others on the boat if they would surf it. Hearing only, 'Are you fucking kidding me?' in return." Chas Smith. | Photo: ASP/Will H-S

Watch the closeouts! Watch the lip! Feel it pound!

Chas Smith reports from Teahupoo!

The Teahupoo contest is running even right now and eyeballs the world over are glued to its splendor. Those tubes! That reef! Those green and sensual mountains! It is a postcard and, let me tell you, feels very much better in person. I spent last week roaming free in Tahiti and could and will spill much ink in testament to the country’s gorgeous.

But while eyeballs the world over are glued to Teahupoo, I must start there. Very few dreamed of places live up to their lofty expectations. When I first saw the sphinx, outside of Cairo, I thought, “Well what a little piece of shit.” When I first saw the Mona Lisa, in the middle of Paris, I thought, “Snore.” When I first saw the Statue of Liberty, off New York City, I thought, “This?” But when that boat ferried me across the lagoon toward the thunder I thought, “WOW!”

First, the boat driver is French by way of colonization and speaks a dialect so dreamily smooth that, when BeachGrit becomes an institution, I will hire a Tahitian to speak me to sleep each and every night.

Second, the reef really is right there. Like, right under the water so unbelievably clear and turquoise and all the Crayolas of the rainbow. I don’t know how professional surfers can take that ride and not picture their scalps growing alongside sea urchins.

Third, the length of the boat ride, from shore to shoulder, is the perfect amount of time to build anticipation without letting any air out. Fifteen minutes, I’d say, and if this life has taught me anything it is that fifteen minutes is the ideal increment.

Fourth, the judges’ tower really does harken Kevin Costner’s hit film Waterworld.

Fifth, the mountains, verdant green folds, mother earth’s breasts, are so beautiful that it is hard not to stare only at them.

But, sixth, there is the wave. Sitting on its shoulder, peering into its heart, watching it race and explode and swing wide. Watching the pod of surfers panic. Watching one spin, commit, drop, get drilled, not get killed. Watching the closeouts. Watching the lip. Feeling it pound. Asking others on the boat if they would surf it. Hearing only, “Are you fucking kidding me?” in return. Yes, take your “I want to visit London’s Buckingham Palace” money and book a passage Teahupoo instead. Buckingham Palace will leave you feeling as cold as the queen herself.

But Teahupoo? That is something you can tell the grandkids about.


11 Reasons WHY Your Surfing Sucks Right Now!

Surfing is cruel! You'll feel lower than a truck-stop lizard, legs jerked over his neck by a long-hauler.

What a cruel master surfing is. One minute you’re Jesus-like in your ability to bestride the water (and with beard and hair!), the next you feel lower than a truck-stop lizard,  legs jerked back over his neck by a moaning long-hauler. Suddenly, surfing is a drill blade twisting and hollowing you out!

But let me kiss those salty tears away. Here are the 11 reasons your surfing is…ah…well, the reason it sucks to high heaven. Me too! Let’s investigate.

1. Your stance is wrong
Your back foot is four inches too forward, the front foot equidistant too far back. The high-performance short board (with three fins) that you own has the twitchiest and least forgiving of dimensions and rocker. Unless that back foot is over the back fin, y’ain’t turning anytime soon. And if that front foot is too far back, which it is, you’re bulldozing water. Quick fix: spend the new few sessions deliberately jamming your back foot against the tail block of your tail-pad as you come into a turn. Don’t have a tail-pad? Buy one.

2. And therefore your surfboard is wrong
Unless you can fix your stance, you’ll need to get a four-finner. What’s the diff? You can turn even if that back foot is out of position and without the drogue of a middle fin, you’ll keep going on a wave even if you’ve outrun the pocket.

3. Positioning
Oh, this is the worst! Watch a pro-level surfer closely and you’ll discover they’re so rarely out on the face. The roundhouse cutback? It doesn’t exist in their repertoires. Meanwhile, we fly into oblivion, think, ‘wow, time to turn’ and inch our way back to the pocket. The great 80s surfer Tom Curren was trained never to look more than a metre along the wall. Quick fix: train yourself to think of the lip, and the pocket, as barrels of fuel. Each time you hit a lip you get a refill (speed). It’s a video game trick. But it works!

4. Forget litres and think rocker
We’re all so jacked-up on the volume of our surfboards we forget the most important element of a surfboard is its rocker. You might have the perfect width and thickness but if it’s all dressed up with a radical curve that doesn’t suit your surfing it’ll drain your confidence. Most of us need a very straight, very forgiving rocker. And with a forgiving, stable board comes confidence. With confidence comes…yeah… y’get it. Quick fix: take out your fins out and place your board on the ground. Is it mostly straight or does it jack up at the tail and the nose. If it’s curvy as hell, trade it in.

5. We don’t paddle hard enough
The best surfers in the world, even the supposedly chill ones, are maniacs when they see a wave. They kick their feet and they gouge their hands in the water and they don’t stop until their feet are in the wax. You and me, meanwhile, paddle like gimps and then hesitate in the lip and think (Hmmm…this takeoff looks kinda difficult… maybe if I just hang here in the lip and stabilise myself…) before eventually doin’ our jam. Quick fix: You see a wave, don’t think of anything or anyone else. It’s yours, so paddle, kick, and when you feel that tail lift, paddle a few more strokes, and kick straight to your feet. It’ll take a few sessions to lose that hesitation, but it is possible.

6. All those distractions!
Maybe you surf to connect with your pals, and that’s awesome, but if you want to take it to a slightly higher level, forget about ’em. Connect in the carpark, in the bar, or before you paddle out. Your goal is performance. You’re looking at the next wave and how it’s going to hit the bank. Head down, laying prone. Quick fix: don’t sit up on your board. Once you do, you’ll catch someone’s eye and out’ll come the meaningless conversation. Stay prone.

7. You think time has forsaken you!
Watch a net clip of a 10-year old-ripper. You might’ve been surfing for twice as long as this kid but he’s nailing backside air revs. What’s that mean? It means anything is possible and it’s possible in a very short period.

8. You’re in tag and release mode
Can you remember how awesome it was when you were a kid and you learned a new move? When was the last time you felt that? Instead we catch a bunch of waves, tag ’em to the beach, and go in relatively satisfied: we got some sun, talked to our pals and did enough exercise to burn off half a six-pack of suds. Instead, pick a turn (alley-oop, fin throw, whatever) and devote your entire surfing life to perfecting it. You’ll even dream about it. And then it’ll come as natural as that first time you hit the lip. And you’ll think, wow, the difference between a pro and me isn’t that wide. You’re wrong, of course.

9. The gulf between you and Reynolds is wide and and it’s insurmountable…
The very best surfers, Reynolds, Slater, Taj etc, do have a jazzmatazz that’s genetic. It’s a combination of athleticism, body type and neural spark that just… works. That’s it, of course. Nature ain’t too big on handing out multiple talents despite claims Kelly can sing. He can’t hold a note or a toon, poor devil. But he surf! And he surf the best!

10. There’s not enough pressure
Who’s going to push you when you’re a casual freesurfer? What imperative is there for you to land that air or complete that roundhouse? Quick fix: Enter contests. The spectre of embarrassment is enough to make even monstrous kooks land a jump occasionally.

11. You got into the game too late
Did you start surfing later in life? Well, uh, sorry, it ain’t going to get much better. This might contradict reason seven a little, but consensus among coaches is, unless you devoted that golden period of your life between 10 and 16 to nothing but catching waves, you’re never going to be have that instinctive touch in the water. Ain’t that a kick in the head!

Jeremy Flores underwater
High point? Winning the Pipeline Masters in 2010. "When I won the Pipe Masters I partied for two years. People would see me and they'd say, 'Fuck, every time I see you out it seems like you're celebrating something.' And, I'm, like, 'Fuck yeah! I'm still celebrating the Pipe Masters two years ago!'" | Photo: Morgan Maassen

reminder: Jeremy is Awesome!

He might've spiced up the judging tower at J-Bay but as this interview reminds us, he still deserves your attention…

The first thing you need to know about Jeremy is that he came from nothing. Grew up in one of the poorest islands on earth, only to become Quiksilver’s Great Investment when he was 11. The Next Slater. Even Kelly said so. But life doesn’t always follow the screenplay.

Jeremy was born in Reunion Island but was moved to dirt-poor Madagascar (where the majority live on under a buck a day) when he was five just so his family could get a foothold on life. His parents managed the hotel Le Lakana Vezo while he roamed the fishing village, surfing when he could, without the interruption of school. There was one television at the hotel and one surfing VHS cassette, Searching for Tom Curren. Jeremy watched it every day for four years. The only surfing he saw was his Dad and random fishermen sliding into a few after work.

His Dad knew the kid was something special and so the family saved and they saved and when the kid was nine he was sent, alone, to France to compete in the Quiksilver World Pro Juniors there. Jeremy won the under 12s and he won the under 14s. Quiksilver signed him on the spot.

“But they were smart,” says Jeremy.

They didn’t throw a ton of cash directly at him but made sure he stayed close to his family and sent him to live and train for six months of the year in Australia and six months in France. And the kid won everything for years. When he turned 16 he went straight on the QS and won it. First year. By 17 he was on the World Tour. And now, 26-and-a-half, he’s on his eighth year on tour. A veteran. But so young! And so prone to bursts of passion!

When Jeremy isn’t  on tour he visits his parents who now live in New Caledonia or, if you prefer, the much sexier La Nouvelle-Calédonie. His ma deals with all the “paper shit and travel shit” of his career and, on the other side of the world, Jeremy maintains a warehouse called the Fantasy Factory, part living studio, part gym, part skate ramp and foam pit. “It gives all the French kids something to do in winter apart from doing drugs,” says Jeremy. When the tour comes to town, everyone wants a piece, especially skate animals like John John.

You won’t see Jeremy in Tahiti. He was suspended for two events (the US Open and the Billabong Pro) and fined $US6000 for expressing his displeasure at a judging decision at J-Bay. This interview was recorded prior to J-Bay (and previously appeared in an issue of Stab magazine…)

BEACHGRIT: When you came out of that PR diz in 2011 (fighting at Burleigh, the Sterling Spencer gag) and threw yourself at big Teahupoo our gourds overflowed with respect! Who would’ve thought the little kid from some godforsaken Indian Ocean would ever come to something!

JEREMY: Oh shit! Thanks! Is there anything you wanna talk about in this interview, specifically?

BEACHGRIT: Not really. I wanna throw a few lines, see what bites I get… you’re such a fun passionate guy! And you love to party!

JEREMY: Yeah! Yeah! I was so focussed for so many years from winning the juniors to winning the QS to being on tour that the last, let’s say two years, I kinda just burned out. I always liked to party but the last couple of years I went a bit too…big. Now I’m in a transition. I’m trying to get my shit together.

BEACHGRIT: What I enjoy is your generosity. When you go out, you ain’t afraid to unstrap your purse…

JEREMY: When I won the Pipe  Masters I partied for two years. People would see me and they’d say, “Fuck, every time I see you out it seems like you’re celebrating something.” And, I’m, like, “Fuck yeah! I’m still celebrating the Pipe Masters two years ago!”

BEACHGRIT: Have you ever been to St Tropez? That town likes to party.

JEREMY: It’s a different vibe, but I definitely wanna go.

BEACHGRIT: Oh, you would lose it. I remember walking over the sand dunes, middle of the day, into a viper’s nest of pounding bass and dancing gals in bikinis and men with cigars and dark glasses watching… Erotic but a little sinister!

JEREMY: Ha! I went to Barcelona this year and it was one of the best place I’ve ever been to for partying. Oh yeah. Amazing. Clubs. Bars. Mostly students. So it’s a young vibe and every…night… every…day. Partying. Hot weather. Open-minded people.

BEACHGRIT: If Barcelona is one of the best, what’s the best?

JEREMY: Panama. It’s the capital of Central America so it’s where all the big clubs are, it’s where all the big-time people go to party. It’s unbelievable.

BEACHGRIT: How pretty are the gals? Dusky as hell?

JEREMY: Amazing. Amazing. Latina, you know the kind. But I always had my girlfriend so I had my limits.

BEACHGRIT: Are you a dance gal or a VIP room guy.

JEREMY: It depends on the vibe I’m chasing.

BEACHGRIT: Are you still with Bruna (pro surfer gal Bruna Schmitz)?

JEREMY: Uh, no… now is a kinda transition… a lot of things are changing for me. I was working with Yannick Bevan who was my training coach and mentor for so many years and I stopped working with him this year. Big changes. I’m trying to get  back to my roots. The last couple of years I wasn’t being, let’s say, a good athlete. A lot of people kinda thought I was over it and I didn’t have any motivation anymore.

BEACHGRIT: Fuck those guys! You’re like Andy Irons at Teahupoo! All guns! All fun!

JEREMY: When it’s Teahupoo and it’s perfect waves I still love it, I still love surfing, but…it’s the competing. I’ve been non-stop since I was 14 years old. Always having goals whatever I did. So. Then you’re actually on tour and after a few years you do things that you didn’t do when you were young. You go mad, you go partying, so that’s what happened. Everyone goes through that phase and I’m going through that phase now. I come from nothing. My parents had me when they were really young. They didn’t have enough money so I really had a goal, always working really hard to have the life I have now and to get my family a good life also. I did that. I was successful at doing that. Now I have a dreamy life but most importantly my family has a good life, also.

BEACHGRIT: Let’s talk about when you were 11 and just…ruling the joint.

JEREMY: When I was 11 and 12 and I was winning everything and when I was 13, 14, I was winning pretty much every event I was entering. Slater was saying stuff like I was better than him at the same age and everyone made a big deal of it. But it doesn’t mean shit. When I was around 14 I started surfing against Jordy Smith and Julian Wilson and then since then it has been a real battle.

BEACHGRIT: I wanna talk about sharks around Madagascar and Reunion. Ain’t it the craziest thing, right now. They’re almost walking up the beach and grabbing kids out of prams now. What was it like growing up, surfing alone?

JEREMY: I never saw any sharks growing up over there and there were never any attacks because there’s a lot of fishermen so the sharks were staying away, fearing the fishermen.

BEACHGRIT: Shit sure has changed.

JEREMY: Well, that’s one of the main reasons everything is happening in Reunion now. From generation to generation there were always fishermen and then people from overseas, environmentalists, came and they stopped fishing in a 10-kilometre area where all the shark attacks are now happening. That was eight years ago. By the time they stopped fishing the sharks didn’t have anything to fear anymore so they started coming and now it’s dead territory. They ate everything. There is no more life. There is no more turtles. There is no more fish. No more nothing. No more reef sharks. Because the bull sharks have eaten everything. And now, because there’s nothing left to eat, it’s the surfers.

BEACHGRIT: Bull sharks are such motherfuckers.

JEREMY: Fishermen, they don’t go to kill sharks, they go for the fish, and when sharks see a lot of fishermen, they stay away. It’s as easy as that.

BEACHGRIT: Has being a European been a hindrance, professionally?

JEREMY: When I first got on tour, it was definitely, let’s say, an Aussie/American/Hawaiian sport. It’s what I felt. A lot of things that were later proved. And not just results. Not just judging. Things in the media. When you come form a small island people don’t really care as much as if you’re an Aussie or a kid from San Clemente or Huntington. I definitely had to fight against that.

BEACHGRIT: Let me take you back to this year’s webcast at Bells. You were back in the competitor’s area waiting for the result of your heat to come through. Before it’d even come out of the lips of the commentator you’d correctly presumed the winner would be the American guy…

JEREMY: It was Nat Young. I said something like, “I bet if I had an American passport, I woulda won the heat” The last couple of years, it’s life, it’s people watching life. You go home and you go on the internet and everyone’s saying that I got robbed, that it’s bullshit. You feel it, but it gets you even more mad when you see the whole world is telling you how robbed you got. It’s the worst feeling. But, honestly, I’ve gotten used to it and now I just concentrate. I surf and I do my thing. I’ve been surfing shit the last couple of years, anyway. I can surf a lot better.

BEACHGRIT: What’s the worst decision do you think you’ve gotten?

JEREMY: It was at Teahupoo either last year or two years ago when I got beaten by Parko in the quarter-final. He needed a 9.7 and he got a 9.73 at the end. I love Parko, he’s my good friend, but that was pretty… pretty…

BEACHGRIT: What happens do you think?

JEREMY: Fuck! I don’t know! Every sport, everyone can make errors, nobody’s perfect, everyone has different options. I’ve always said what I felt. Maybe I should’ve shut my mouth a lot of time because I think the more I say things the more it came back at me. A lot of guys, when they have a big name, let’s say they have a lot of video parts, they’re in a lot of magazines, they’re the hype of the moment. And then they’re in a heat, let’s say, against a Brazilian guy who just got on tour, who rips, but nobody knows about. At the end of the heat, if the kid that has all the media attention needs a score you can be sure he’s going to get the score. That’s my opinion.

BEACHGRIT: Is it your belief the judges are swept up in the hype or is it something you believe is more sinister?

JEREMY: Maybe. Maybe they are are swept up in the hype. Most of the time the result is fair. But sometimes there is a fuck-up. And when these fuck-ups happen, it’s scandalous because it’s the world tour and it is the elite and people’s careers depend upon it.

BEACHGRIT: Let’s talk jiujitsu. You sure know your way round a mat.

JEREMY: I did a lot of jiujitsu when I was young. But not any more. I’m scared to get injured. I win money surfing not doing jiujitsu.

BEACHGRIT: What’s your money hold? Arm bar? Choke?

JEREMY: I like choking. Choking is good. I can choke a lot. Most of the time I get choked but whenever I can choke someone it’s a pretty cool feeling.

BEACHGRIT: What’s it feel like to get choked out?

JEREMY: You just kinda faint and then wake up. I’ve had a lot of ego (and therefore don’t tap out) and sometime you get choked out by someone who’s supposed to be way worse than you and it’s just how it is.

BEACHGRIT: Who would win a no-time limit UFC bout between you and Kelly?

JEREMY: Oh! Fuck! Fuck! I’m hoping to say it’s me because he’s 41 years old, right? I know Kelly is really passionate about it and he loves it but I don’t even know how good he is.

BEACHGRIT: Tell me all about your relationship with Sunny Garcia?

JEREMY: I’ve been coming to Hawaii for so many years, three or four months every year. And I got close to Sunny and his son Stone. I admire everything Sunny’s done. He never gives up. He trains like a machine. At first I was just looking up to him but then I found out what a giving guy he is. Some people might think he’s a bully but every year I was over there, for Christmas, I was by myself, he was always welcoming me to his family to spend Christmas. He didn’t have to do that.

BEACHGRIT: What misconceptions do people have about you?

JEREMY: Fuck! I think people know everything. I’ve always been honest, always said it like it is. A lot of people respect that. A lot of people don’t. So there’s always going to be people talking shit. I’ve always been true to myself and the people in my entourage and the people that believe in me. The rest, to tell you the truth, I don’t give a… I don’t really care. As long as I’m not fake. In surfing, nowadays, there’s a lot of fake-ness. So much fake. People are so fake. Most of the guys are so fake. I know it because I know all of ’em and they’re all such legends and such cool guys but then through the media you see a different person. That’s something that scares me and something I never want to do. I want to stay true. People like me and people don’t. But people see the real me.