Quiksilver Japan's new wetsuit line is insane, perfect, desirable, sexy! Senseless awesome beauty!
I’m widely considered a relatively well-dressed man. I mind my style. I stay sharp. I know a few things about a few things: good leather boots, tailored shirts, fine selvedge fabrics, natural dyes, varieties of collars, hems, cuts, and trims.
Which is tough, as a surfer. Because wetsuits, by and large, are just about the most unpleasant looking garments I don regularly. They’re not flattering to my generous thighs and derriere. They tend to bunch up around my mid-section, presenting a deceptively chubby silhouette to a public that really should be gazing upon the bronzed first trimester of a whiskey gut.
But today my life changed. Today all is right in my world. Because today Quiksilver Japan unveiled their new wetsuit/apparel mash-up: TRUE WETSUITS!
That’s right, modern suits, complete with crisp-looking button down and and a tac-sharp tie. They even offer a tuxedo model! I can’t imagine how Bondian one must feel getting barreled in a tuxedo!(Come to think about it, they should sell the suits with flasks! That’s my second grievance with surfing! There’s few options available for mid-session boozing! And I surf so much better shithouse drunk!)
Here’s some very Japanese details, all (sic):
“TRUE WETSUITS,” the 1st suit of its kind in the world, which can be worn on business occasions, for parties, and, of course, surfing.
The “TRUE WETSUITS” is designed for both business and surfing.
The “TRUE WETSUITS” is designed to fit every aspect of users’ lives to make both life and surfing more fun. A must-have item for the busy, modern person.
The “TRUE WETSUITS” is not only an authentic, high quality wetsuit, but also a “suits” that can be worn on business occasions.
The “TRUE WETSUITS” is available with three styles – black, navy, and tuxedo, that is appropriate even for business occasions after surfing. The “black” and “navy” models feature a single breasted two-button jacket that can be worn casually.
The jacket and pants are made of a 2mm super high-stretch jersey neoprene, the same fabric we use to make regular wetsuits.
Two antique silver buttons are used on the front of the jacket and plastic dot buttons are used on the cuffs.
The jacket also features side vents to allow a comfortable posture while waiting for waves.
The shirt has been designed with a dress shirt silhouette and a crisp collar to create a formal impression.
Alas, the suits, which take two months to be produced once ordered, cost 300,000 yen, which if you aren’t up on exchange rates is like, I dunno, a million euros, or fifty billion pesos or something.
No, wait, I googled it: It’s $2,513.33. Which is $.33 more than my current Bondian wetsuit budget.
But if anyone over at Quiksilver Japan is reading this, and I’m sure they are, I’m a 42 jkt, 33 pants, I look damned good in a tux, and even better in the water. San Francisco’s surfer boys will just love my steez.