Surf, glide, shred, rip, tear, pump, surf…there
are many different verbs used to describe the physical act of
riding a wave and I was under the impression that I knew them
all.
Oh how I was wrong!
CNN, leader in global news, unveiled a word on their website
today that I have never heard.
ANDREW COTTON: SURFING PLUMBER PIPES THE WORLD’S BIGGEST
WAVES
Pipes.
He pipes them.
Let’s go piping.
Anyone up for a pipe?
We should pipe before the wind gets on it.
I am piped out.
The story is very nice and I am glad Andrew Cotton is being
lauded for his pursuit. Nazare has become a favorite storyline of
CNN and that is nice too. You can and should read here. You can and should watch Andrew
Cotton below. Me? I’m gonna go get my pipe on.
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Miguel Pupo, a perennial fav of Tour Notes!
Watch him lovingly stroke his pal MIchel's broken hand. Friends, we
all need 'em.
#TourNotes: J-Bay Pre-Game
By Derek Rielly
"My life was a mess. I cried every day," says
Michel Bourez
I think of the filmmaker Peter King as a crossover act
like, say, Kendrick Lamar or, in an earlier epoch, Nine
Simone. But where Compton-born Lamar’s hood-jams strike a chord
with white Lexus-driving fans in Hollywood (and Simone with
the bourgeois of Paris) King’s tour clips hit…everyone.
All surf fans.
How can you not?
From angry commentator-guy with a hard-on for Alana B pounding
the keys in the online forums to the surf industry maven doing
the dance at Agenda, we all get a little thrill
when we see a new drop of #TourNotes.
This two-minute hit comes in the days preceding the J-Bay Open
2015, the event once owned by Billabong.
In King’s words, “Bourez is back, warmup sessions, cliffside
high-stakes UNO and some free surf slicing…waiting for da big show
to start!”
It’s better than that.
Brett Simpson describes J-Bay as “sharks, cactuses and…
good waves.”
What does King like, love, adore about Jeffreys Bay? “I love
it’s length! Who doesn’t? She goes forever. You can rip, smooth
out, longboard…enjoy the fancy homes and vast African openness as
you glide along. Surprising is that it’s still here… still looks
like 1976. I keep expecting Shaun Tomson to pop out of the
barrel.”
True enough!
The forecast is crummy, by the way. Watch Filipe shear off the
small little runners at the end and tell me he ain’t gonna
win.
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Top 5 best wetsuits for surfing
By Chas Smith
New shit has come to light.
I went to AGENDA today, the massive
action/extreme sport retail tradeshow, in Long Beach, California.
The last action/extreme sport retail tradeshow I had been to was
MAGIC in Las Vegas maybe ten years ago. It was the same, or that is
what I thought as I was approaching. Same people, same fashion,
same look, same feel. Nifty hair, tighter pants, canvas shoes,
t-shirt, tattoo. Lame. And then I realized that I looked the same
as everyone I had just mentally called “lame” (minus the canvas
shoe and I’m wearing my denim less tight these days). And then I
realized that I knew every single one of them. And then the rock
that I had unleashed came whirling back around and hit me in the
head.
Mahalo, you fucking surfers.
You goddamn nerds.
I’m just kidding.
We’re all part of the tribe.
And it is a great great tribe.
In any case, there were wetsuits at AGENDA (I assume) and then I
saw this on the Internet under the heading “tech.” “Top 5 Best
Wetsuits for Surfing.” I clicked because I was curious and then
became very confused. (click here to be very confused)
I would say “Top 5 Best Wetsuits for Surfing” are:
1) A Japanese brand that you have never heard of.
2) A Japanese brand that you have never heard of.
3) Narval wetsuits.
4) A Japanese brand that you have never heard of.
5) Whatever is in your garage.
Now you will fit in with the tribe better. If you have tattoos.
And two cuffs on your pant leg. And canvas shoes. And a t-shirt
that says something but not too much. And facial hair. And nifty
hair.
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Mick Fanning's guided tour of J-Bay is like
one of those twisty carnival rides where you can't tell if you're
excited or ready to throw up. Even when the camera stops you still
feel as if you're spinning!
Video: Mick Fanning’s J-Bay Breakdown
By Derek Rielly
Mick's spike goes straight to the vein…
These lil GoPro clips where a pro surfer gives you
a guided tour of a wave are a bit of a roulette wheel. Who
knows what you’re going to get? Some are better than others, and
this, of Mick Fanning, is unusually short.
But contained within it’s one minute is Mick on a wave that
feels like one of those twisty carnival rides where you can’t tell
whether you’re excited or ready to throw up. Even at the end, it
feels like your head is still spinning.
What I get out of these POV waves is how compressed, how twisted
the best pro’s turns are. The motherfuckers…slam… their
turns.
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"No individualism here, no ego, no celebration
of one hero. In surf, as in technology, one cannot reach the next
level alone. Without the people around us, without We, without Us,
I is nothing." Who knew owning a clunky Android phone could be
profound!
Just in: Samsung’s New (Surf) Ad for
Telephone!
By Rory Parker
Y'either going to love (and maybe weep!) or
hurl…
(A note from the editor: Ain’t it the
damnedest thing, how a simple piece of cinema or whatever can make
one vomit, the other weep with joy. This advertisement for Samsung
telephones, for instance, made Rory Parker furious. “It’s a
bunch of pandering garbage that everyone is just gobbling up.
I don’t get the appeal at all,” he told me. I soaked it up. I
wasn’t entirely convinced by the voice-over, and when I read
the transcript of the commercial without the vision I cringed, but
the rest I loved. They totally get it. But, then, as
someone who forever ponders the brevity of life, is convinced they
have some kind of terminal disease waiting to germinate and who
cried and cried and cried when I first saw Blue Crush on a
plane, I ain’t the best person to ask. Whatevs, here’s Rory’s
take.)
Isn’t it cool how we’re all, like, one
brotherhood? Look, we’re wearing the same
boardshorts. That’s sick, I got mine at my local shop on sale.
They’re usually $90 a pair, but I get the hook-up ‘cuz they know
me, 5% off everything in the shop.
Not boards though, but that’s just because they don’t sell ’em
anymore.
Isn’t it cool how being a surfer means that we, like, totally
get each other? It’s such a spiritual thing, sharing waves at my
local beach break. If a dude forgets his wax I’ll totally let him
use mine.
Did you hear about Bob? He’s making bank down in Nica. Rents out
rooms at this place he leases, charges people a hundred bucks a
night. Like, no overhead because local wages are so low. And, you
know, you actually shouldn’t pay them more regardless of how much
you’re taking in. It’d be bad for the local economy.
Have you seen that new ad Samsung paid some people to make?
So cool, it totally gets surfing.
“We are greater than I,” that’d be a sweet tattoo. The whole
thing does a really sick job of encompassing what surfing is, and
how much surfers really like each other. One tribe, bro, only
a surfer knows the feeling. Life’s better in boardshorts.
I’m so stoked that a company finally gets us.
And, oh dude, the ending!
This full on spiritual paddle out thing, people splashing water
and, like, totally shouting empty nonsense into the void. It really
validates my self image. I can’t wait for what they come up with
next.