Surprise final instalment!
Four weeks ago, BeachGrit reported on the blood feud between the two dazzling surf creatures, Jay Alvarez and Ethan Carlston.
Both stories combed the feud’s themes of fantasy, juvenile egotism, anxiety and contempt, arrested adolescence, heterosexual activity, obscene ruthlessness, virulent sexism and a childish fantasy of power.
Compelling, in other words.
Today, the final word in the blood feud comes from a surprising source: a middle-aged bicycle enthusiast (Durianrider) from South Australia, whose YouTube channel has over 150k subscribers and over 100 million views. He has no connection to either surfer and yet shears the feud in two in a three-minute video of homespun wisdom.
To Ethan he advises:
“You’re stoned out of your mind, you’re glazed as fuck… I was a stoner when I was your age and you’re missing out on a lot, man. (Jay’s) going under your rug because you’re stoned and floundering around and he’s cutting through. He’s getting it. You sound really jealous that Jay’s banging Alexis… what I’m going to say, mate, until you get off the bongs you’re not going to pull chicks like that.”
Three minutes of funny.
Watch here.
And you can buy Duranrider’s book Carb the Fuck Up! (Follow your heart with no fucks given) here.
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this story sucks and nobody cares… is this really the best feud you can find?
true this story sucks but i definitely care… this feud is the hatfield and mccoys of our generation.
Since this feud is getting so much coverage, why not do more on Tudor v. Aaron? I think you could get some mileage out of this one.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
My guess: not pretty enough, riding longboards, not enough public shittalking to keep up with the young blokes. Maybe Aaron’s primary colors wetsuit can fight one of Wilko’s old tour suits?
surfing needs this. i need a cone.
Are these guys outerknown models?
That’s some accent you guys got there. I think I caught about one in four words.
Duranrider was high as fuck himself.
That 90s house track combined with the “police” cap indicate you might be an undercovery. Next thing you’re offering me some moody eccies around the corner. No way José
he sounded Kiwi.
To steal a quote from Robert Muldoon “New Zealanders who emigrate to Australia raise the IQ of both countries.”
Yo Longtom I know you’ve turned down the Mod badge offer before but would you reconsider? I’m taking a backseat to sort out my life… It’s been 20years my Gal & I and just trying to work out if we want to sign up for another 20. sob, sob…
I’ve signed up a couple of others Stateside but I want a couple in our timezone.
I’d like you to do as little or as much as you’d like, mainly I’d like someone yourself challenging the Mod’s on issues/bannings even reserving their calls. I want open debate.
bulimia knuckles! I actually lost a mouthful of my beer on the screen.
South Australian’s just know how to cut through the crap