Like, this minute! Like, right now!
It is important to keep track of daily temperature. To lick a finger, put it in the air and see which way the wind is blowing that very second without regard to the way it was blowing yesterday or the way it will be blowing tomorrow. Surfers understand the importance of climate and change and how it affects the hour. And, thus, here are the 5 most influential people in surfing like right now!
5. Ken “Skindog” Collins: His calling out Kelly Slater led to a whole day of Internet fun! Rory Parker did a wonderful job encapsulating the feud from many and varied perspectives. My favorite quote, though, came from Mahdi in the comment section, who wrote, “Super sensitive professional surfers feeling a type of way over-real or perceived slights is my favorite stop on the tour.” How true.
4. Ethan Carlston: Speaking of feuds, the maybe professional surfer (?) is relentlessly dogging his erstwhile friend Jay Alvarrez for maybe having aids. The exact context of the rage is difficult to pinpoint but, not to worry, Ethan penned a rap on Instagram that goes like this:
Call me pretty poison flowin through your veins, speakin the truth no one wants to hear, go ahead shed a tear, i do this all so one day my brother will look in the mirror, see the monster that he became, all fame and nothing was ever the same…what’s the difference between peace & war? This earth is a dirty whore, she’s got fire in her core, watchin evil lurk, I’m here to merk X #sorryimnotsorry I’m on safari, one day dreams of pullin up like where the fucks my rarri…
Aside from not knowing what “merk” means this rap sounds amazing and Ken Collins would have been number four if he had written something similar aimed at Kelly. #sorryimnotsorry.
3. Brodie Carr: After yesterday’s piece on the geriatric hopes and dreams coming from the World Surf League leadership (they are contemplating a new slogan even… It’s on! Join Mick Fanning’s mom in the rec room to catch the action with BINGO following directly!) news floated across BeachGrit’s desk that Mr. Brodie Carr might very well be in France gathering resources for a hostile takeover. Certainly wild speculation but just think if the WSL was allowed to return to a younger, less gassy place?
2. Sharks: They are going bananas, maybe knocking J-Bay from the tour, eating their way through Hawaii and causing mad problems at KFC in South Africa (read here!). Will surfers decide to stop surfing in the ocean? Will Wavegarden’s stock shoot to the moon? Will Brodie Carr, who helped hold a Red Bull event at Surf Snowdonia’s Wavegarden, move the WSL to all wavepools? Damn sharks. But at least the tour will be fun again.
1. Nicolas “Daz” Dazet: Daz, as he is known in surf circles, is the man behind the strings at the world’s biggest bankrupt surf company. So long, Dane but hello future! And do you know what? There are big things in store for the Mountain and the Wave. Big things. Once millions upon millions of dollars of debt fall away along with some sizable contracts the world’s best bankrupt surf company will soar like an eagle. Like a rock n’ roll dog. Don’t believe me? Stay tuned!