It has been a long time coming but,
alhamdulillah, science has finally handed down an opinion on this
decade’s hottest trend. Energy! Researchers from the famed Mayo
Clinic, one of America’s finest clinical institutions, assured a
restless population that Rockstar, at least, really works.
According to the Los Angeles Times, a team of cardiovascular
researchers tested sixteen ounce cans of Rockstar and a placebo on
25 healthy volunteers aged 25-29. They had their blood pressure and
heart rates measured before sucking both the Rockstar and the
placebo (they had no idea what they were getting) and also allowed
the researchers to nip a little blood. The tests were repeated 30
minutes after the cans were consumed. And guess what?
“The volunteers started out with heart rates and blood
pressure readings in the normal range. After consuming Rockstar,
their systolic blood pressure rose about 6%, from 108.4 millimeters
of mercury to 115 mmHg, on average, and their diastolic blood
pressure rose nearly 7%, from 64.3 mmHg to 68.5 mmHg, on
average. By contrast, systolic blood pressure rose just 3% and
diastolic blood pressure was flat after drinking the placebo
beverage.”
But better even:
“The biggest difference was in blood levels of
norpinephrine, a precursor of epinephrine (a.k.a.
adrenaline). After consuming the real energy drink, the average
amount of norepinephrine rose from 149.8 to 249.8 picograms per
milliliter of blood. That compares with an increase from 139.9 to
178.6 pg/mL after finishing the placebo drink.”
Hyped!
According to the LA Times, the findings caused the
researchers to “fret” because the people may later develop
cardiovascular problems due to spiked levels of boom boom boom.
Have those researchers ever danced with the devil under the pale
moonlight, though? Have they ever gotten really super barreled?
Have they ever had to drive from Cardiff-by-the-Sea, California to
Phoenix, Arizona after just a few hours sleep because a certain
two-year-old insisted on getting up at 5:00 am? Give us us
norepinephrine!
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Ain't no happy endings in Ballina. Here's Sam Morgan,
20 years old, who was hit by a shark, abruptly, late yesterday
afternoon.
Ballina Pro Surfer Attacked by Shark!
By Derek Rielly
Sam Morgan in induced coma at Gold Coast Hospital
after being hit by a 10-footer…
Do you remember when shark attacks were
one-offs? Curios?
Not so much anymore. And Ballina, on the North Coast of NSW, and
part of the zeigeist-y Byron shire, has become the epicentre of
shark strikes.
Late yesterday afternoon, the pro surfer Sam Morgan, 20, was hit
on the thigh by a Bull shark at Lighthouse Beach, Ballina.
Richmond LAC Inspector Nicole Bruce said Sam was in the
water alone at Lighthouse Beach when the attack occurred at about
6.20pm.
“A person on the beach heard him scream and saw him stumble out
of the water,” she said. “He’s come out of the water with a
large bite wound to his left thigh. A passerby has
administered first aid, ambulance and police were on scene soon
(after). It was quite a large bite, but at this stage he seems
to be stable, so hopefully he will be okay. “
Sam is currently in an induced coma at Gold Coast Hospital.
I was surprised when I heard about the attack. Not cause of
sharks. Those sons of bitches ain’t leaving. I just didn’t know
anyone surfed at Ballina anymore. Everyone I talk to up there has
pretty much shelved their boards, surfing only when the sun is
high, and there’s enough of a crowd to reduce what have become high
odds.
Anyway, I received this email from a local surfer and surf
industry worker Shayne Banks last night. Seems to sum up the mood.
He gave me permission to reprint below.
Hi Derek,
You may have already heard but there has been another shark
attack at North Wall, Ballina late this afternoon. The victim was
young local guy Sam Morgan.
I am feeling sick and wanted to write something so here you
go; even before this last attack, twice on Saturday 7th November
the North Wall crowd was sent in due to a 3-4 meter Great White
swimming under people.
I work at Alkali Fins in Ballina and had my life all set up
around surfing, now it centres around work. I knew and surfed
with Tadashi and we fixed his dings at Alkali. I have known Matt
Lee for 15 years and spent countless hours surfing with him and
many couch session with his solid crew of mates. While he was a
bodyboarder at heart he stood up on fibreglass and surfed pretty
well whenever the waves were not slabbing.
Leelee’s attack really rattled me; the last surf I had had
before that happened ended with me being chased in at Broken Head.
A shark fin appeared in the wave and was moving very aggressively
left to right and then right again about 20 meters in front
of me. By the time I had processed what I had seen the wave was on
me. I turned and rode that sucker to the beach. The next day I was
on my way to surf fun little lefts at Sharpes, I was just out of
Lennox when over Triple JJJ I hear that there has been another
attack at North Wall. Sharpes is looking really fun as I drive past
but is completely empty with only two guys looking like they are
about to paddle out. I drive to work and don’t even stop. At work I
learn that the victim is Matt Lee and that he is
critical.
Seeing him at the pub the other day for his fundraiser was
great but also pretty confronting as I could see first hand tooth
mark scars on his legs.
I have surfed twice since Matt got bitten. Once was when my
dad was up from South Oz and keen to head out for a wave. It was a
full-moon and we surfed in a sea of bait fish and dolphins. One
other day at Broken Head I got a few fun little peaks but it was
still spooky. I don’t even know how long it has been and I don’t
care to count. After living at North Wall for 5 years and surfing
it pretty much every single morning that I could between 2001
-2006, surfing in Ballina may well be over for me.
I don’t know; I could write more but I am kind of trembling
as I type. Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk
further about the situation here and the atmosphere among the
surfing community.
This was his year. But maybe next year is his year
too!
How wonderful is an older brother? I am one so
I know. We are the best thing on earth. Founts of knowledge.
Rocks on which to build. I ran into Julian Wilson’s older brother
Bart today and we had a nice, if short, chat. Bart is a good man.
Extremely funny, mischievous and quick. I have always liked him
very much.
Bart (on Julian’s right) is a wonderful growling
wolf and the maddest hui a brother could ever have!
Anyhow, Bart said, “That shark fucked Julian up….” and I cut him
off, asking, “His emotions?” but no. Not his emotions. “…his world
title run.” Bart continued. And wow. I had never thought of the
enormity of it.
I had picked Julian Wilson to win it all this year. His surfing
was sharp, building to a crescendo. The South African final against
Mick he was really set to dig a heel into the neck and proclaim his
arrival. But that damned shark came and tickled Mick and instead of
first, Julian was handed and equal second. And even though he still
has a mathematical shot at winning being crowned champ, the
prettiest boy on tour lost his momentum. He started the year with a
2nd at Snapper, scored a 5th at Margies, another 2nd in Fiji and,
bam, was ready to explode!
He raced into the final at J-Bay, scored an fine first wave and
then……sharknado. Two 13ths a 3rd and a 25th later he is 7th.
Mathematical but…you know.
Julian is still a fresh 27 years old. Entering his competitive
prime. And maybe next year he will, in fact, win it all. But that
damned fucking shark, no? Do you think he would have won it all
this year? I did. And I do.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Movie: Mason Ho Bursts With Vitality!
By Derek Rielly
Blow a whistle! The little Hawaiian got some new
tricks…
I wonder what would happen if we ever lost Mason Ho to
the WSL. Would he still be the same Mason, clapping his
opponents and flying into through those post-interviews sounding
like he’d just swallowed the formula for eternal awesome?
Or would he, eventually, be so beaten down he couldn’t sit
straight and, if he ever got through a heat, he’d spit out the
usual boring chestnuts?
I have a feeling we’ll never have to worry. People talk about
the virtues of a no-nonsense approach. I like nonsense.
Watch Mason Ho’s latest clip!
This is in brazil 5 mins from the recent contest
area. thought it was fun practicing there with no body
around. doesn’t get better then just you and a friend out surfing at
such a FUN & beautiful zone. wish it had the right air wind.
surfing – mason ho & LB filmed by rory pringle
thanks rip curl, …lost surfboards, etnies, arnette, and
sector9 !!
baby kine search
-mason
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
An ICBM Just Flew Over My Head!
By Derek Rielly
Cyrus Sutton and his brush with a nuclear-capable
Trident missile in the Mojave desert…
Two days ago, the filmer and surfer Cyrus
Sutton, who is currently alone in the Mojave desert
working on a documentary about GMOs in Hawaii, emailed me a photo
of what appeared to be a meteor shower above his head.
Social lit up, as it does, with theories that it was a nuclear
bomb, maybe a comet, some kind of alien invasion or part of “secret
military testing.”
I figured it was part of the annual Taurid meteor shower and
told Cyrus so but, yesterday, it was revealed that it was actually
a nuclear-capable Trident missile test-fired by the US Navy.
Now I’ve been around a bit, I’ve had my share of freak-outs,
some drug-induced, some simply from an over-arching timidity that I
just can’t seem to shake. I couldn’t even imagine what it’d be
like to be alone in the desert, at sunset, when, out of nowhere, a
gigantic missile roars over your head.
Cyrus does.
“The first thing that went through my mind as that it was an
alien death ray or something. It was NOT a comet or a meteor,” he
says.
“It was NOT a comet or a meteor. It started ascending as a
glowing orange ball. Then it burst up high emitting huge radiating
bubbles that looked blue green like the northern lights, its point
was fierce white light like a star. It zoomed northward leaving an
aurora like glow in its wake.
“It was over LA. I was 150 miles east in no-man’s land. I
remember thinking of that Twilight Zone episode where the
guy is in the bank vault when the nuke detonates, he goes outside
to see that everyone is gone.”
“Then I thought, holy shit I’ve got to get a picture of this
thing. By the time I got my camera it was blue and green and white
and bubbling outward quickly eventually taking over a good part of
the sky. I missed the first few shots (blurry and underexposed)
fingers were trembling and I couldn’t think straight. Then I got my
tripod out of the back and got some proper shots. After it
disappeared only a large dab of turquoise remained where it first
exploded near the band of the milky way.
“I drove 10 miles into town to poach the wifi at the local
library to see what it was. There was nothing in the news but
social media was lighting up. A bunch of people posted phone shots
and were asking the same questions. I posted a photo asking if
anyone saw it and there were reports from SF to SD and clear east
to Vegas so the entire southern half of Southern California caught
the show.
“On the news they are saying it was a comet or a meteor but
meteors don’t rise then explode, change color and blast off into
space in a piercing white light. The next day the media said it was
the trusty US military testing an intercontinental ballistic
missile. That makes a lot more sense. A lot of people were saying
it was aliens but I don’t know. Probably some classified military
star wars shit.”
