Second half of the day recap...because BeachGrit is the best surf website on earth!
I was out the door when I realized, “Jesus, Rory, it’s the twenty first century, you can listen to the webcast on your iPad.”
Duh, yeah, that’s right.
And so I learned three things:
The WSL won’t let you watch via browser on mobile anymore. You need the app! I hate that bullshit, the internet works fine, why does everyone need to make a worthless stand alone program and then force you to use it?
- Turns out I’d already installed it, I don’t remember when. So I ran it and realized
- The WSL has ads. Of course they do, but since I have adblock running on my ‘puter I’ve never been forced to watch any. (Note: Remember to allow ads from your beloved BeachGrit. I’m an unapologetic hypocrite and I want money!
- Without the visual element the commentators are, literally, worthless. Slater/Mick/JJF ran while I drove to the hospital, hoping to hell the cop tailgating me didn’t realize that I was illegally using a hand held device while behind the wheel of a car that is lacking a safety check sticker. Which it has been for the past few months, because I can’t wrap my head around spending the fifteen minutes and twenty bucks necessary to get my ride legal.
I had no idea what was going on. Almost no discussion of scores. Vague, pointless, description of rides. Sign these guys up for a radio broadcasting course already! Seriously, it’s amazing what a little bit of professional training can do, use the break to take a class at the local community college. I feel like I’ve typed the last two sentences a hundred times over the last year.
Mick gets to skip the losers’ round, can’t deny the guy’s a world class sportsman. Dealing with some heavy shit, but the show must go on. Mixed that metaphor a tad, huh?
His post heat interview hurt. Was sitting in the waiting room, got to see it go down. Mel trying to tap dance around a brutal subject, instead stomped all over it.
Caught the beginning of the next heat. Ho’s ten, my god, kid’s a better surfer than dad or uncle ever were. Coming out after the spit is pretty standard these days, crazy how far barrel riding has come. But coming out after the foam ball? I wish the WSL would tell us what each judge scored, whoever dropped him the 9.8 deserves a strongly worded internet chastising.
The next wave he took off switch, cheeky little bastard. I love him so much.
ADS gets ever closer to being the least loved world champ of all time. You’ve gotta wonder, who do you think he thinks god loves more? The scrappy Brazzo workhorse who, after all these years, is almost there, or the guy whose brother just died?
If history is any guide, Jesus loves white people the most.
Talking heads called it an upset, but ain’t no one better than CJ in heavy lefts. Not even John John Florence, the best surfer in the world. He’s facing Medina in the quarters, that’ll be one to watch. Follow-up world title chance versus a strong note retirement departure. I’m sure CJ would love a polished up Pipe Masters trophy on the mantle, but it’s do or die for Gabe, and he’s strong under pressure.
Slater knocked out Asing, no big surprise there. Good on the rookie Hawaiian for surviving his first year on tour. That fucker’s brutal, and Asing didn’t get nearly enough love. Humble Ewa kid, got some online shit slung his way when he qualified, kept his head down and made it through. Should be proud of himself. Really hope he is.
I didn’t know he was dating an MMA fighter. Kailin Curran, gorgeous girl. Kind of interesting how women’s MMA mirrors surfing, in that the top tier competitors keep getting more talented as they get more attractive. You’d expect both sports to be packed to the rafters with trolls.
This means Slater/Fanning in the quarters. Think Slater will play games? Pretty easy to put a mind fuck on Mick right now. Is Kelly’s heart that cold?
Go Melling! My dark horse pick for Fantasy Surfer, one of the guys who struggles at the tail end of the rankings but kills it when things get serious. If he knocks out Parko it’ll add a few much needed points to what’s been, for me, a season of terrible choices.
Turpel just made an amusing comment. Shutting up shop for the day after this heat because “We always stick to the rules in the permits when we’re here in Hawaii.”
I’ve harped on it endlessly, but the Pipe Master’s permit is a joke. So much special treatment, “No heats shall be structured with less than four surfers, and man-on-man or one-on-one heats shall not be allowed (includes trials).” HERE
Isn’t it great to see a local community band together to pass rules that make their lives better, only to have that effort trampled in the pursuit of money?
No drone footage this event, wonder if I’m to blame? GO HERE IF YOU WANT TO KNOW!
There’s some disagreement whether the Hawaii Film Office has the legal authority to enforce their rules, rules they are permitted to make without any public input or oversight. But if the WSL were to say, “Fuck off, you’ve no authority,” and fly the things anyway, they’d be effectively invalidating the permit that gives them the right to be sole broadcaster during events. And that’d be a dangerous gambit, the sands no doubt flooded with every human who knows how to set up a webcast. No option then but to hire some local muscle to crack heads, turn to less than legal means.
Melling sneaks his way through in the dying moments. A lucky turn of events, keeps him on tour. The ‘QS grind can’t look too tempting at thirty.
Flores and Kerr get a good night’s sleep before putting round five to rest. Maybe a good thing, it’s been a long day. Maybe bad, means they’ve gotta surf one more heat than everyone else come finals day.
And what a day it’ll be! It’s a lineup of killers, no luck of the draw losers slipped through.
Medina vs Hobgood– Title dreams against retirement motivation.
Fanning vs Slater– Either a back and forth battle, or one of those heats that goes inexplicably flat.
Ho vs Melling– My heart gives it to Ho, but Melling brings the experience and desperately needs the win to stay on tour.
De Souza vs either Flores or Kerr– Adriano’s gotta be feeling some butterflies, either of those guys can murder him at Pipe. But he’s got the game wired, if he plays it like usual and they don’t get lucky I think we’ll see him in the semis.
With a slowly dying swell, and the rest of the waiting period looking tiny, tomorrow’s go seems like a sure thing. See you then, unless either Chas or Derek makes like Bede’s pelvis and decides to give me a break.
(Fuck me, that was terrible. Whatever, I’m leaving it in.)