Even Kelly Slater restores his crippled season on day two, Pipeline Masters…
Were your hands as gluey as mine this morning? There were so many round two scenarios to consider, that even in the grey fingers of a North Shore dawn, the air was pregnant with tension.
Three title contenders faced sudden elimination.
An 11-time champ was on his last roll to emboss an ugly season.
Stumbling, low-rated surfers would attempt to squeeze a little last-minute dignity or, god willing, maybe even re-qualify.
Let’s snapshot.
First, Filipe Toledo whiplashed Bruce Irons with typically Brazilian derring-do. Did you see that coming, fourteen points to five? There’s nothing monotone about the maybe-soon-to-be-world-champ Filipe’s oily crouching and weaving. Memories of zero-point heat totals quickly fade when you entertain like Filipe.
Adriano’s blood pressure problem is getting better now that he twitched past the 17-year-old Pipe Invitational winner Jack Robinson. Did you know Adriano is staying at Jamie O’Brien’s house and that Jamie will surf against the title fav Mick Fanning in round three?
“He opened his house to me a few years back to practice at Pipe and I can’t thank him enough,” De Souza said. “He understands I want it so much and it was so big for me and my career. I really hope I can win this. I don’t have a big sponsor like Quiksilver or Billabong that have houses out here, I just have a national brand so I went to Jamie and just said you’re the man, if I can’t stay here I’ll sleep at your door because I want to surf every day here. I have so much respect for the locals out here and just want to spend as much time in the water as I can.”
Do you love Adriano even more now?
Julian Wilson blew past Haleiwa contest winner and wildcard Wade Carmichael without giving up too much of his sugar.
And Kelly! So last minute against Dusty Payne! Watch Kelly get the score and Dusty, who is now off the tour again, twist his face into a cretinous sneering monster. As if you wouldn’t be instantly transformed.
And Jordy, he was so priceless he makes life worth living.
Did you hang around for the women’s invitational? Carissa dug up the beans! I felt, maybe you did too, a rush of happiness watching Carissa belt down the front door.
Meanwhile, the surf is slowly disappearing. New swell middle of next week.
Who will fall under the dark curtain of oblivion?
Is it Adriano’s destiny to be the champ, 2016?
Will Jamie O, the fleshy but not fat Hawaiian, grope the past and snatch a second Pipe Masters, 11 years after the first?
BILLABONG PIPE MASTERS ROUND 2 RESULTS:
Heat 1: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 14.23 def. Bruce Irons (HAW) 5.07
Heat 2: Taj Burrow (AUS) 13.77 def. Brett Simpson (USA) 11.20
Heat 3: Adriano De Souza (BRA) 13.10 def. Jack Robinson (AUS) 12.50
Heat 4: Adam Melling (AUS) 15.50 def. Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 4.46
Heat 5: Julian Wilson (AUS) 12.83 def. Wade Carmichael (AUS) 6.00
Heat 6: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 13.17 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 12.50
Heat 7: Kelly Slater (USA) 15.57 def. Dusty Payne (HAW) 14.93
Heat 8: Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 10.50 def. Jadson Andre (BRA) 6.74
Heat 9: Glenn Hall (IRL) 8.60 def. Nat Young (USA) 7.80
Heat 10: Keanu Asing (HAW) 10.33 def. Kolohe Andino (USA) 4.90
Heat 11: Joel Parkinson (AUS) 13.93 def. Ricardo Christie (NZL) 5.43
Heat 12: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 16.00 def. Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 4.87
BILLABONG PIPE MASTERS ROUND 3 MATCH-UPS:
Heat 1: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Jordy Smith (ZAF)
Heat 2: Bede Durbidge (AUS) vs. Keanu Asing (HAW)
Heat 3: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. C.J. Hobgood (USA)
Heat 4: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Michel Bourez (PYF)
Heat 5: Mick Fanning (AUS) vs. Jamie O’Brien (HAW)
Heat 6: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Taj Burrow (AUS)
Heat 7: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Mason Ho (HAW)
Heat 8: Joel Parkinson (AUS) vs. Kai Otton (AUS)
Heat 9: Jeremy Flores (FRA) vs. Sebastian Zeitz (HAW)
Heat 10: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Adam Melling (AUS)
Heat 11: Josh Kerr (AUS) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS)
Heat 12: Adriano De Souza (BRA) vs. Glenn Hall (IRL)
WOMEN’S PIPE INVITATIONAL FINAL RESULTS:
1- Carissa Moore (HAW) 18.96
2- Courtney Conlogue (USA) 10.50
3- Keala Kennelly (HAW) 9.23
4- Tatiana Weston-Webb (HAW) 4.84
Bruce…oh Bruce.
Pipeline Saturday 7:15am
ouch
Honolua and now Backdoor, I too got a rush of happiness watching Carissa get shacked with style.
I’m as big a Bruce irons fan as anyone, dudes mad nice. But I’m pretty sure begging to be in a contest through social media, then getting smacked in that contest in the first possible elimination round seems like the most embarrassing that can happen to a pro surfer
See the photo above…
What is wrong with those wsl headshots? Just above the nipple. And jordy with with that 3/4 turn and smile. It’s like a soap commercial. I suppose it’s meant to demonstrate the pectacular sex appeal of male surfers but they look awkward as hell.
add that you know awkward socialfo go on tell us you know wot it is there ya go go for the win hun just look at the state of you #foolsdontsee
Pipe Masters 2013, Round 4, no losers heat:
Mick Fanning drops in on John John in the dying seconds of the heat ON PURPOSE, ensuring he wouldn’t meet John John again until he’d already won the title. This place has a long memory.
Mick: behind the saintly figure you pay big PR bucks to project, lies your true deceitful self.
Such a bitch move, Kelly knows it’s not a real win at pipe unless you beat double John or JOB in the final. You have to beat the best to be the best.
“Will Jamie O, the fleshy but not fat Hawaiian, grope the past and snatch a second Pipe Masters, 11 years after the first?”
hahhaa, it was too good not to bank it twice
I think it’ll be granted a third, maybe a fourth, play, too, depending on Jamie’s form…