An Adriano de Souza championship could unite the
world!
Pipeline is giving ‘er hell on day three of
competition. It is not as big as day one, the trials, or day two,
the Fall of Kelly, but it is very clean and looks fun. The
commentators are talking lots about how You Can’t Script This™ and
Only a Surfer Knows the Feeling™ and I Bought My Wedding Ring from
a Surf Shop™ etc. because all the contenders are still in the
running because Nobody Loses in Round One™ or Round Four™.
Filipe marched through his round two heat this morning, Mick
Fanning moved directly to round three. Julian Wilson has an
unseasoned Wade Carmichael in heat five and Brett Simpson is back
to the World Qualifying Series.
There are many scenarios, still, but if I am really going to
look in the mirror and be honest with myself, I must say, “I’m an
Adriano de Souza man!” The little bee slaves away in all waves
while people at home say he has a “poo stance™.” But he closes his
ears to their caws, shows up to work and does work. He is the
professional surfer construction workers from New Jersey can
get behind (plus he wears a delightful gold chain over his hairy
chest in WSL profile pic). He is a people’s champ.
He just dismissed the young Jack Robinson and did you watch him
sit on him toward the end. He wants this title more than all!
And don’t you want a people’s champ to hold the trophy this
year? Our world is very fractured. The 1% fights the 99%. Islamic
radicals fight good-livin’ folk. Donald Trump fights Mexicans and
Muslims and handicapped people. An ADS championship could unite us
all. Don’t you want that? Don’t you wish for world peace?
P.S. I’m only cheering for world peace if Julian Wilson cannot
miraculously win. If J-Dub does it than I am all for divisiveness
and golden boy smiles!
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The wildcard Bruce Irons was under terrific scrutiny at
the Pipeline Masters: In Memory of Andy Irons. But he returned with
a thunderous whack! Second to Mick, sure, but real close. | Photo:
WSL
Pipe: Bruce, Jamie, CJ are plumed
serpents!
By Derek Rielly
And Kelly accelerates towards worst season ever!
Day one, Pipeline Masters.
What an event of passing contradictions the Pipe Masters
is. A quick glance at the six-to-eight-foot hissing waves
would’ve suggested nothing but blue tubes with sunbursts dancing
over it all, the very best surfers riding ‘em to oblivion.
Tens and tens.
But the famous Pipe ain’t like that. It’s in the middle of the
Pacific, for one. All that bellowing of rip and wind.
“I don’t want to be cruel but it’s extremely tough out there,”
said the commentator Ross Williams.
And so we must examine these contradictions of a wave so
perfect, yet so raw.
Where else might a retiring athlete well into his third decade
emerge with the fluid power of a tiger from nowhere and collect a
perfect score?
But where else, in the very same event, might a two-point,
two-wave total ensure an easy win, as Bede Durbidge discovered in
round one against Adam Melling and Wiggly Dantas? The worst heat
ever in competition!
The heaviest wave in the world, as some call it, with a perfect
air wedge? John John just humps the joint.
Bruce Irons’ social media campaign to get into the
event thrilled plenty, disappointed a couple, when he got a
start in the contest as a wildcard.
And yet his performance, the third-highest heat total of round
one, and vigorous enough to suggest he ain’t spent, wasn’t enough
to blow past the unnatural white brilliance of Mick Fanning.
With those ping-pong ball eyes bulging on either side of his
face, Filipe Toledo almost disintegrated BeachGrit’s #1
pick Jamie O’Brien. That last-second insider just about did the
trick but judges are consistent, if anything, and an insider ain’t
gonna get you shit.
Kolohe Andino, meanwhile, nearly belted through to round three
with a one-wave total.
Kelly Slater continued his trajectory toward his worst year in
22 seasons, possibly spinning out of the top ten. He has the energy
of a 20 year year old and he gleams with enthusiasm… such a
joy of living!… but it don’t mean a rideable wave is going to
appear in front of you.
Who knew he could be so vulnerable?
BILLABONG PIPE MASTERS ROUND 1 RESULTS:
Heat 1: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 14.26, Adrian Buchan (AUS) 9.33,
Glenn Hall (IRL) 1.70
Heat 2: Mason Ho (HAW) 6.17, Jadson Andre (BRA) 5.70, Dusty
Payne (HAW) 1.70
Heat 3: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 12.60, Keanu Asing (HAW) 7.84, Wade
Carmichael (AUS) 3.73
Heat 4: Michel Bourez (PYF) 9.33, Adriano De Souza (BRA) 7.23, Jack
Robinson (AUS) 5.06
Heat 1: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Bruce Irons (HAW)
Heat 2: Taj Burrow (AUS) vs. Brett Simpson (USA)
Heat 3: Adriano De Souza (BRA) vs. Jack Robinson (AUS)
Heat 4: Matt Wilkinson (AUS) vs. Adam Melling (AUS)
Heat 5: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Wade Carmichael (AUS)
Heat 6: Adrian Buchan (AUS) vs. Miguel Pupo (BRA)
Heat 7: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Dusty Payne (HAW)
Heat 8: Jadson Andre (BRA) vs. Sebastian Zietz (HAW)
Heat 9: Nat Young (USA) vs. Glenn Hall (IRL)
Heat 10: Keanu Asing (HAW) vs. Kolohe Andino (USA)
Heat 11: Joel Parkinson (AUS) vs. Ricardo Christie (NZL)
Heat 12: Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) vs. Jordy Smith (ZAF)
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The wake jockey Collin Harrington gives a visual (with
camera on stick) of how water diversion technology can give lake
surfing a little buzz.
How to: Get barrelled behind a boat!
By Derek Rielly
All it takes is a lil water diversion
technology…
I ain’t gonna lie. When I saw this photo thrown
up on Mark Mathews’ IG accountI arched
my eyebrows and threw my eyes back into my cranium. Barely ten feet
away from the hull of a boat, on a lake, and… a barrel of
sorts?
How, when, where?
A spurt of industry and I was in the arms of Mr Collin
Harrington, a pro wakeboarder, skater and very keen surfer.
BeachGrit: When and where did you snatch this
photo?
I shot this in Orlando, FL. Gopro had just sent me the new Hero
4 session camera and this was the first test with it. Needless to
say, it worked!
BeachGrit: How the hell y’make something like this
happen? Do you need a special hull, a particularly big
boat?
All the wakeboard boat companies have been making hulls now that
are actually making some really fun wake surf wakes. Some are
better than others but there are a few boats around now that will
do this. Its pretty wild really. It’s all touch button to make the
wave however you want.
I just grew up on board sports. They both have their perks but
there is still nothing like getting spat out of a solid tube on a
surfboard.
BeachGrit: Describe the sensation of swinging inside a
tube behind a boat?
I have to be honest and say the camera angle does play a bit of
a mind game. You can’t quite get in it but it’s close. You can lay
down and get a quick boogie tube but thats about it. The way boat
companies are going though, hopefully we will be able to get fresh
water tubes in the next few years.
BeachGrit: And you surf as well as wake? What thrills
you about each diff sport?
Ya , I grew up living summers in Ocean City, Maryland and
Winters in the Florida Keys my whole life. I would surf and skate
all summer and then in the Keys there are no waves so I would skate
and wakeboard. I just grew up on board sports. They both have their
perks but there is still nothing like getting spat out of a solid
tube on a surfboard.
BeachGrit: Anything else about you, I should
know?
I’m 5’8”, blondish hair, enjoy short walks on the beach… ha. I’m
video producer as well. I’m actually in Oahu right now for the
winter shooting for O’Neill. That’s been fun so far. Been getting
some good waves out here. And my family has a surf and dive charter
boat we in the Virgin Islands. They weren’t able to bring the boat
down there this season but we will be back next winter. Its one of
my favorite places in the world. (See the charter biz
here.)
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Jamie in his world.
Jamie O’Brien will win the Pipeline
Masters!
By Chas Smith
Or at least totally destroy the World Title
race!
Today is the day! Or maybe tomorrow, but let’s
hope today. It is like Christmas morning for the professional surf
fan. The promise of big, unruly Pipe thrills. Every possibility
hovers but in looking at the heat draw there is one thing that
thrills me more than others and its name is Jamie O’Brien.
Maybe some of you are unaware that I once directed an
award-winning film called Who is JOB some years back. I
did not come up with the name, it was forced upon me, but the
subject was almost too delicious. Jamie had/still has to some
extent, a funny reputation but he is nothing if not easy to work
with. I lived in his house for the early part of the filming right
there on Pipeline’s sands. Every morning I’d wake and there it
would be. Pipeline. It is one of the few things in this world, I
can honestly say, where familiarity does not breed contempt. It was
as captivating each time.
And Jamie would surf it with such wacky comfort. Such bizarre
ease. It’s not like the kid has had a cupcake run out there either.
Both his legs have been broken by Pipe’s reef. Both of them.
Watching him surf it, day in and day out, also captivated. I
watched him in all sorts of conditions, catching all sorts of
waves. I’ve seen him pack the biggest closeouts and toss pointless
airs on the inside section. And today, or maybe tomorrow, I want to
see him win.
It was fun to direct his film because he is as carefree with
himself as he is in his surfing. The magnificent Dayten Likness, an
artist who truly breathed life into the film, and I took all the
footage and ran to California when it was time to edit. Jamie saw
none of it, zero, until the night it premiered.
And now, five years on, he has made it back into the Pipeline
Masters. Jack Robinson received the praise for winning the trials
but it was Jamie O that I cheered for. Look at him, slotted into
heat 5 against Filipe Toledo and Kolohe Andino. Filipe, ranked 2nd
in the world, has a legit shot of winning the title. But there, by
the grace of God, goes Jamie O. And how sad is Filipe right now? Of
all the damn people to draw.
Hopefully he will chew right through the World Surf League
rankings and leave a giant mess in his wake. That will be fun for
all.
Dayten, Jamie and I.
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Jack Robinson is Australia's prince. Blue eyes, hacksaw
haircut, beaming, gleaming with enthusiasm. A Joel Parkinson-esque
style married to a John John level of skill. Today he won the Pipe
Invitational, and a wildcard into the Pipeline Masters,
with… one wave. A nine-plus, leaving Jamie O and Mason Ho to
scrap over second place. | Photo: WSL
Just in: Jack Robinson wins Pipe
Invitational!
By Derek Rielly
Beats Mason Ho and Jamie O’Brien with one wave in a
piss monsoon!
Sometimes it’s hard to believe you’ve reached
adulthood. Time flies by so fast!
Do you remember when Jack Robinson was a tween with a hacksaw
haircut and squeezing the trigger on five-foot oops at Gas Bay? You
could almost imagine him sitting in your lap cooing like a
pussycat.
Today, surfing against men almost twice his age, including the
fleshy, but not really fat, Jamie O’Brien, who finished second,
Jack’s vigour and skill was announced. In every heat, but his semi,
he had the highest scoring wave.
In waves heavy enough that Sunny Garcia wasn’t even
sure the contest should’ve been called on.
From his first heat, Jack Robinson was maddeningly perfect.
And there was a quarter final where he served his opponents
nuts.
A semi-final walkthrough.
And the final where he cut open Jamie O’Brien, Mason Ho and
Kekoa Cazimero with… one wave.
“Jack absolutely killed it,” said Jamie O’Brien afterwards.
