Your favorite surf website aggregator goes quiet on the day of days!
There was a major hole in your favorite surf website aggregator’s content yesterday. Generally, no story is too small for Stab‘s skilled team of artisans to select, copy, paste. They diligently set to work, brushes in hand, adding an adverb here, an adjective there, and from the sweat of their brow arises a repurposed masterpiece. Who could forget such hits as “What Youth Vs Surfer is the Excitement you Need Today!” or the wonderful Stab Presents: Jack and Alana?
But yesterday, while The Inertia crowed “Nic Lamb Just Won the Titans of Mavericks” and Surfer sang “Titans of Mavericks Live from Half Moon Bay,” Stab simply ran a stories on Peaking in Indo with Billy Hopkins, 44 of Kelly Slater’s greatest achievements and Steph Gilmore being a marketing dream.
Hmmmm. So strange. Your third favorite beach gossip website (hello!) found the day so thrilling that five stories popped up, one after the other, each dedicated to the Titans. Saturday/Sunday is usually slow and the event was, as billed, the “Greatest show on earth” and “most coveted event in big wave surfing.” But no Stab. Hmmmm. So very curio.
Unless.
It’s a blood feud!
Did the Committee of Five not find Stab in top peak physical condition? Did Stab not understand that participation in Mavericks is a privilege and not a right? Were there back room fisticuffs, once, up Santa Cruz way? Angry emails punched out, sent back and forth assigning blame for the Super Bowl and Jaws being better and such? Did the C5 feel that Stab was overtly Team Twiggy? Team Condor?
Or did the blood feud originate in Australia? Whatever the case, yesterday’s silence was deafening. The kind of hushed disdain that arises only from the most hurt of feelings.
Flight of the Conchords – Hurt Feelings – HD from cricobs on Vimeo.
The Gang of Five!
we’re vincible!!!!
Just out of curiosity, why did you guys cover such a blah event with such zest and zeal? Is it simply the fact of its mediocrity that makes it ironically funny to spend inordinate amounts of time talking about it?
Although disconnected for last ten days, I was wondering the same thing. Maybe because Nic Lamb’s self-proclaimed fashion sense still makes Chas look good? (although Nic Lamb’s trust fund makes Chas look poor).
I didn’t really think about it much but you probably hit the nail on the head. Also it happened near weekend which is sloooooow, usually, news-wise.
the committee of 5 use the same selection process that identifies the most deserving surfers to choose The most deserving retail outlets to sell the limited edition ToM clothing line. Much to stabs surprise parent company, online surf wear retailer surf stitch was overlooked hence the blood feud.
Nice read on the situation willmatt! subtle.
Way to throw in some FOTC!
Sorry to change the subject, but will Quik hand out another wildcard to Dane for Snapper? Or have they now all OD’d on disappointment?
Anyone got any inside info?
Nick Carroll: you’re in bed with Quiksilver, do you know?
I would like to see him again, maybe donating the money to the LGBT community in Tweed Heads, which has been criminally neglected.
Dane off Quik obvs… #wildcardformikey
ah shit, forgot.
How DARE you. I haven’t slept with Quiksilver in years. Well at least a year. I think.
WSL can force that issue btw, I think they have been more responsible for Dane Wildcards in recent times than his former endorsee.
In other comments, just a couple of kudos to Chad for enlisting the Conchords in his endeavours. What a three some that would be.
Gossip: Word on the street is that Nick Carroll actually just publicly spoke highly of Beachgrit at a rather LGBT friendly event in NZ.
’44 of Kelly Slater’s greatest achievements’ was a far better effort for the King than was made elsewhere….
We don’t waste precious time, taking you directly to Doped Youth instead! The creme!
lol…I just watched the whole movie. Derek Reilly was in Doped Youth…he hasn’t aged at all…Dingo & Kelly better stick to surfing…if the W$L top 36 did a video like that today, they would be fined & suspended. funny movie.
https://vimeo.com/18129465
The 90s skit characters from Australia should fight the 90s skit characters from USA/Hawaii in costume at a venue TBD in 2016. #beerbellies #baldness #moneyontheaussies
Seriously? Who fucking cares?
Me!
Goddamit, enough of all these suppositions. Someone please interview the Committee of 5ive.
Blood Feud: Stab vs. John John’s Garden