Keep Watching: Titans of Mavs!

But let's ask some questions!

But with these questions in mind.

  1. Did Shane Dorian not make the trip because the forecast looked like shit or is his back really hurt from a while ago?
  2. Where on God’s green earth is Mike Parsons from? That accent? Do you like? It is very strange.
  3. Are the event organizers bummed because it doesn’t look like Jaws?
  4. Is Grant Washburn angry that Dave Wassel totally smashed him?
  5. What did Mike Parsons mean when he said, “Their leashes are probably all tangled up and they went over the falls together…” ?
  6. Do you wish Red Bull did WSL broadcasts?
  7. Does Nic Lamb look cool in a suit or does he look like he is trying impossibly hard?
  8. Competiting.
  9. What did Nic Lamb mean when he said he saw a poster of Richard Schmidt surfing Mavericks and was “absolutely polarized by it” and really really wanted to surf Mavericks himself?
  10. Do the surfers call themselves “titans” when out of the water? Like, “Hey titan…good to see you.”
  11. Do the Committee of Five members have Committee of Five embroidered jackets?

What questions do you have?


Watch: The Titans of Mavericks!

In the water now!

Sal Masekela is on the mic and the Titans of Mavericks are in the water! Come spend your friday watching cold yet very sunny big waves throbbing, pulsing. Who is your favorite? The unsung local grinder? The big name Hawaiian? Pete Mel? He’s my favorite but he is not there. Boo.

Committee of Five. Do you like the way that sounds? I don’t. I think it sounds stupid.


Kelly Slater Doped Youth
Today, Kelly Slater, the 11-timer, is 44 years old. Hard to believe, yes? Do you think, like me, that his 2003 cameo in Vaughan Blakey's Doped Youth was the high point of his career?

Birthday: Kelly Slater turns 44!

Let's celebrate with the most dazzling moment in his thirty-year career!

Today, February 12, is the birthday of Kelly Slater, who was born in 1972.

And what a year it was!

Israeli athletes murdered by Palestinian terrorists at the Munich Olympics, a Ford Pinto cost two grand, a gallon of gas was fifty-five cents, Nixon was sunk by the Watergate break-in, The Godfather was the movie to see if you were a sharp sorta cat and if you turned on the radio, you’d be swallowed by the guitars of a new Brit band called Led Zeppelin.

Forty-four years old today. Can you believe? Slater’s lived through Presidents Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush snr, Clinton, little Bush, Barack Obama and maybe, soon, Hillary Clinton or mad old Bernie Sanders.

And so many career highlights: eleven titles, fifty-four tour wins, more time racked up on social media than any other surfer, pro or otherwise.

But the highlight that sings to me, and probably to you too, is when the former Waves magazine editor Vaughan Blakey, convinced Kelly, then 31, to cameo in his film Doped Youth. Who knew Kelly was a natural in front of the camera?

Watch here! (And, yes, that’s your favourite WSL commentator Ron Blakey at the end!)

Kelly Slater in Doped Youth from BeachGrit on Vimeo.




Dustin Barca
The former WCT surfer and mayoral candidate, Mr Dustin Barca, asserting the need to watch out for Lucifer and to maybe grab a gun too.

Blood Feud: Dustin Barca vs Lucifer!

Do you have the clarity of soul to tell hard truths from tempting lies?

Nothing warms my heart quite like the combination of guns and religion. Like peanut butter and chocolate, each sweet on its own, but together they create a flavor sensation unlike any other. Sometimes I like to get really high and dip a spoon in a jar of PB, then roll that spoon in M&Ms! Wash it down with a huge glass of chocolate milk. Amazing!

Even better is the melange of god and law, especially when we’re talking about our personal god, that little voice in the back of your mind that talks you through the day. I like that god, gives me confidence, ideas to write about, a close-minded surety that eliminates doubt.


Other times he gets a tad strange.

“Show the bus driver your dick!” “Seven beers makes you a better driver.” “You should kill yourself!”

Not very helpful, god.

Or is it Lucifer talking? Hard to tell, they both use my voice, talk over each other.

Gotta look to the bible for answers. Have you read the bible? I haven’t, but I got the general gist thanks to my Facebook feed.

“Throw a rock at that faggot!” God.

“Have pre-marital sex.” Lucifer

“Women are weak and stupid and the source of all sin.” God.

“Tattoos and meat on Friday are awesome!” Lucifer.

“Vote Trump.” God.

“Socialized medicine for all.” Lucifer.

Pretty straightforward stuff, until you consider that one of the bibles, I’m not sure which, was written by the Jews, back around the time they were busy burying fake fossils to deceive true believers. Confusing, until you remember that voice in your head is god, and ask him what he thinks, if there are any bible quotes that apply.

“And Jesus did appear before the gathered masses, and sayeth he unto them ‘If thou dost catch some motherfucker taking your shit verily thou must use thy shooting iron to shed his blood.'”

Interesting. I wasn’t aware there were swear words in the bible. I guess you learn something new every day.

Or do you?

The devil loves to lie, to play off your hubris and pride and that terrible self determination with which we’ve been cursed by the almighty creator. Can I trust my instincts? Do I have the clarity of soul to tell hard truths from tempting lies? Where can I turn? Who can I trust, if not myself?

Should I look to Dustin Barca for guidance? I may not love all his rhetoric, but I’m on board with most of his goals. I believe he truly cares, that his activism springs from a place of selfless regard for his fellow man. A tad rough and tumble, sure, but as yet unsullied by the small-town politics that pervade the Garden Isle.

If I had a wish, though, I’d wish he’d urge his brethren to turn to bow and arrow in the name of home defense.  Not because guns aren’t cool, or because we have no right to own them.

I’d just rest a little easier knowing an arrow won’t penetrate my single wall home when a neighbor lets fly in the dead of night at whichever chronic is rifling through his garage.


Saga: Lunada “Bay Boys” new enemy!

..."some of the Bay Boys yelled, 'You can't surf here' and 'Kooks.'"

Oh those crusty locals from Lunada Bay! You know the ones and if not catch up here and here. Enemies have rained down upon them this year, from a British reporter to a Facebook activist to local police. Now, the California Coastal Commission wades into those tumultuous waters.

Today’s Los Angeles Times reads:

For generations, a small group of locals in wealthy Palos Verdes Estates has maintained a reputation for keeping other surfers off Lunada Bay’s well-shaped waves.

The so-called Bay Boys bombard outsiders with dirt clods, slash their car tires and assault them in the water — sometimes coordinating the attacks with walkie talkies — witnesses have said.

Surfers who say they have been victimized over the years have accused local authorities of complacency, cowardice and even complicity.

Now an unlikely new sheriff of sorts has ridden into town: the California Coastal Commission.

In a letter to Palos Verdes Estates officials, Jordan Sanchez, one of the agency’s enforcement officers, wrote that the Bay Boys are so entrenched in this beautiful notch of California coastline that they are subject to the commission’s watchdog regulations and permitting processes.

The letter says: “Precluding full public use of the coastline at Palos Verdes Estates, including the waters of Lunada Bay, whether through physical devices … or impediments, such as threatening behavior intended to discourage public use of the coastline, represents a change of access to water, and, thus, constitutes development.”

“We are not in the position to do a sting operation like the police or tear down structures like a building and safety department,” he said, a reference to a stone fort at the water’s edge allegedly constructed by the group as a party spot and outpost for coordinating harassment of outsiders.

The fort features stone and cement masonry, and on one recent day it was outfitted with cooking utensils, lighter fluid, trash cans, cushions and an ice chest, as well as a paved step way, seating areas and a fire pit. At the table, someone had etched “Respect this place.”

Palos Verdes Estates City Manager Tony Dahlerbruch said he agreed with the commission that the fort — whose construction is said to have begun three decades ago — will now need to undergo the permitting process or come down.

“In the meantime, that structure must be available to be used by all,” Dahlerbruch said.

“Lunada has some of the most powerful and perfect big wave spots in California,” said Jordan Wright, 31. “It’s the wave that is most like Hawaii in Southern California in terms of its strength, power and longevity.”

And, said Wright, he has had to retreat each time he tried to surf Lunada Bay, even though he has surfed in 13 countries and on waves with 40-foot faces.

Even when he went with his father, a detective for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.

“It’s run like an organized crime or racketeering outfit,” Wright said of the Bay Boys’ grip on the slice of public coast.

Cory Spencer, a 44-year El Segundo police officer and surfer, said he has watched the dynamic play out since he was 14 years old.

“I’ve driven by and looked at the spot probably 10 to 15 times just to see it, but never really took my board out of the car and just traveled on because of the fear, intimidation and vandalism,” Spencer said.

In recent months, however, small groups of outsiders have decided to challenge the Bay Boys’ grip, and Spencer said he was inspired by Wright to finally give it a try. “I worked South Central for the LAPD, but it took time to gain the courage to go down there,” he said.

On his first outing in late January, Spencer said, “immediately, from the time we were on the rocks, we started getting the verbal heckling.”

Wright said some of the Bay Boys yelled, “You can’t surf here” and “Kooks.”

After they paddled out, Spencer said, he caught a wave and locked eyes with one of the Bay Boys who had heckled him on the shore.

“He was 75 yards away on the wave behind me. We had plenty of space, but he tried to spear me with his board … and he left a nice little slice in my hand,” Spencer said. “That was a nice introduction to my second wave at Lunada.”

Efforts to end the behavior have been largely ineffective. A former police chief installed a surveillance camera in 2002 to help keep an eye on the less-than-pacific bay. The City Council had it removed three months later.

Jeff Kepley became Rancho Palos Verdes’ chief of police a year ago, shortly before the Guardian newspaper caught on tape one of his employees as she dismissed visitors who came to complain after capturing footage of being harassed at Lunada Bay.

Kepley said he has sent patrols to the bluffs about 400 times and is determined to make an arrest during the current winter season when the waves and tensions are highest.

“It would not be hard,” said Spencer, the El Segundo officer, “if they really wanted to take care of this problem. But they need to get out in the water instead of just looking down from the bluff.”

For now, the Coastal Commission enforcement officers said, they are not preparing to fine anyone or take other punitive steps.

“If we work cooperatively,” Willis said, “we don’t need to think of enforcement mechanisms.”

So….umm…..I don’t get it. I actually don’t really get any of it. Lunada is a big rolling mushburger and if someone wants to surf it they should just go surf it and if they ain’t up for being hassled and/or good enough to not get hassled then they should not surf it.

It is amusing to watch an older form of heavy-handed localism. The fact that the Bay Boys now have so many city and state enemies makes me want to cheer for them. Though if one shot his board at me I would smash him in the dentures.