Are you community and eco-minded? Are you drug free?
The “Criteria” to be considered as an invitee to the Titans of Mavericks event (as approved by the Committee 5) is very subjective, and therefore is biased by personal and organization politics.
I copied and pasted the criteria directly from the website and listed each point in bold below. I added my own critique of each point in parenthesis.
Yes, I have a lot of time on my hands today…
Titans of Mavericks CRITERIA
- Dedication to surfing Mavericks (self-explanatory, but does this mean a few recent red-hot sessions or 10 + years?)
- A person who is athletically in top, peak physical condition to handle the rigorous conditions and hazards of Mavericks. (What if the person looks like they are in top physical shape but has an underlying medical condition?)
- An accomplished big wave surfer that has surfed Mavericks before or whom has put recent time in that proves eligibility. (How can you put in recent time without surfing it before?)
- A proven waterman: person that has dedicated a portion of their life staying involved with the ocean. (No one who even thinks about surfing Mav’s hasn’t done this already)
- Person who promotes ocean conservation and lives a healthy lifestyle. (By what measures?)
- Person who is drug free and doesn’t take performance enhancing drugs. (It’s hard to believe there isn’t one person in the draw who doesn’t take drugs… is there drug testing to prove this?)
- Person who is respectful to his/her peers and has Character in and out of water. (Doesn’t the respectful part immediately disqualify Skindog? Oh wait, the “peers” are probably the Committee 5; what does “Character” actually mean and why is it capitalized?)
- Person who puts time in at Mavericks during the pre-season (I thought we discussed this above. Technically wouldn’t the preseason be summer?)
- Person who understands the water safety rules, and is knowledgable of the inherent dangers of Mavericks. (Misspelling “knowledgeable” on the website tells me they may want to research and clarify what “knowledgeable” actually means.)
- A person who provides community service efforts in their local community. (I’m guessing that Anthony Ruffo’s version of community service doesn’t count?)
- A person who is associated with one or more community organizations. (What type of community organization, what exactly does “associated” mean, and why isn’t this criterion combined with the above statement?)
- A Person whom is educated on the ecosystem, waterway, and cold water conditions surrounding Mavericks. (Randomly capitalizing the “P” in “Person”. What constitutes “educated”, and why did they mention “cold” before water? Furthermore, “Waterway” and “cold water” conditions are a part of the ecosystem.
- A person that understands that participation at Mavericks is a privilege, not a right. (What does “understand” mean – do they write it on a chalkboard over and over like Bart Simpson? Just like driving, at anytime those privileges can be revoked, especially if you say anything to piss off the Committee 5 – just ask Peter Mel and Twiggy).
Furthermore, the inconsistencies in grammar (like “A person”, “person” and “A Person”) and other typos prove that not much time was put into creating this joke of a “Criteria.”
All that aside, are you watching Titans of Mavericks?
Did you see Jamie Mitchell and Tyler Fox swallow those bombs?