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Stardust like John John Florence (and Mason Ho, if you really want to get into it) aren't made or fostered or whatever else, they just… are…  | Photo: WSL

“Hawaii’s pride in surfing slipped”?

Is a new kid program in Hawaii a backdoor to rewriting event regulations?

Strange rumblings from the WSL Hawaii office as community outreach seeks to lure innocent children into their lair.

This past Wednesday the WSL announced the launch of its Junior Development Program, a PR maneuver intended to “focus on career readiness, mentorship, tour preparation, and a path to global surf industry opportunities.”

Slightly less nefarious than my own, already existing Junior Development Program, which consists of observing adorable little girls blossom into buxom young ladies over a span of gorgeous summer days, the WSL plans to hold a number of workshops dedicated to fostering the development of contest robots in the Hawaiian archipelago.

Slightly less nefarious than my own, already existing Junior Development Program, which consists of observing adorable little girls blossom into buxom young ladies over a span of gorgeous summer days, the WSL plans to hold a number of workshops dedicated to fostering the development of contest robots in the Hawaiian archipelago.

Today marks the first, and “will include tour scheduling and planning with Pancho Sullivan, mentorship and goal setting with Freddy Patacchia, priority rules and judging, social media procedure and etiquette, injury prevention and more.”

“Social media procedure and etiquette!” What does that mean? Don’t post a rant about niggers, keep your naughty bits to yourself? Good advice, right there.

But why now?

“The Junior Development Program, coupled with a concerted effort to increase Junior and entry level Qualifying Series events in the Hawaii/Tahiti Nui region, is the first step toward Hawaii’s hopes of reigning in Australia and Brazil…[sic]”

Yeah, right.

Seriously, why has an organization that runs roughshod over local ordinances, provides an ever shrinking number of wildcard slots for local competitors and gleefully attempts to misrepresent laws to their advantage decided to play the “think of the children!” card?

Because the residents of Hawaii are “complacent” (read: lazy), and because “Hawaii’s pride and place in surfing slipped.”

Ouch. No pride, no place. Pretty brutal, especially when taken out of context.

But, really, why? The press release clearly spells out real challenges faced by Hawaii groms that aspire to a dream of surf stardom, remote geography, lack of sponsorship opportunities, a tiny number of contests that provide ‘QS points, without doing anything to address them.

A conspiracy minded fellow might look toward the tail end of the text.

“Policy –  a limited number of beaches available to competition, with a limited number of permits and competition days therein.”

Is this merely a half-assed maneuver to build good will before yet another attempt at rewriting the North Shore’s restrictive shorewater event regulations?

Yes, the Department of Parks and Recreation already gifts the comps variances, and yes, I do have copies of emails in which the Pipe Master permit holder instructs the DPR exactly how he wants the variances worded, but we all know that too much is never enough.

If the WSL really cared about the next gen of Hawaii surfers they’d work toward setting up contests in Town, on the West Side or on one of the Outer Islands.

It’d be pretty easy, do the same thing they did in Brazil. Ignore the rule book, let ’em run without paying up front.

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Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago

odd freak hmm..hopgoods,lopez’s, Kelly , pretty damn good list of solid surfers who come from really crappy east coast!!

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

If you have the balls to charge heavy waves (I don’t) I think the transition from shit waves to good waves is a lot easier than the other way around. I grew up surfing mostly shit waves so when I surf good waves it seems so much easier.

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago

yeah like florida?

david fffff
david fffff
10 years ago

BC Hydro = Canada. What spot is this bojangles? Lets go SUP there, Canadians are docile, I call foul.

“This isn’t Tofino”

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

No way, Tonino Benson’s story speaks to the crossover potential of pro surfers’ skillsets!

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
10 years ago

I don’t much think anyone takes you seriously. This is my last response to you, any further reply to me will go unanswered.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

Poor kids have to surf in Hawaii and travel to get QS points, unlike, say, South Africans, Peruvians, Japanese, Costa Ricans etc. I feel for them and their pro surf dreams.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
10 years ago

Thanks, but I can’t say I much like you. It’s this simple, based on reviewing your previous rants, I don’t think we would make very good pals.

Billy Joe
Billy Joe
10 years ago

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that surfing is supposed to be fun.

Bonzer
Bonzer
10 years ago

Judge’s brains have slipped out their heads, that’s WHAT have slipped.

Preston
Preston
10 years ago

Same problems, different decade. There are plenty of talented surfers in Hawaii, always will be. A big problem being they surf better than average surf their whole lives and struggle to compete in the grovel-fest that is competitive surfing.

That and the fact that most major surf brands have given up on grassroots marketing, which used to include deep amateur teams in key places, like Hawaii. Unfortunately, much of that money is now going to pay the crazy salaries for guys like JJF. The focus used to be on building ‘beachheads’ of each area’s best talent with the knowledge that this was a proven way to actually connect to the local community, and in turn create brand loyalty. Sadly, the bean counters that run the biz these days can’t see a ROI on grassroots interaction with their brand. Thus, pro surfing continues to be disconnected from it’s core participants.

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago
Reply to  Preston

i think you need 10k Instagram followers to get flowed a pair of boardshorts and a sticker nowadays

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
10 years ago

I had to take a break from the BG for a while, the back stabbing and snide comments had gotten ridiculous. I can see that nothing has changed. Too many know it all ass clowns having word wars. You people need to get out more often, especially this gorilla guy. Can’t remember his screen name, but jeez, what an ass hole.

bojangles
bojangles
10 years ago
Reply to  Captain Clark

The gorilla is just angry because his beloved south island surf spot has been overrun by hipsters from the city. Along with trolling comments sections, he’s taken to posting passive aggressive labels around town.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
10 years ago
Reply to  bojangles

Wow! I must say his “rules” are sound in principle, but corrupt in the virtue by which he has chosen to broadcast his agenda. These are the people whom give bad names to objects like guns after they lose it and shoot up the corner store. As dangerous as a loose cannon on the quarter deck. I didn’t think it would take long to rattle the gorillas cage. Ha!

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
10 years ago
Reply to  Captain Clark

People like these give bad names to… guns?
You mean guns used to have good names?????

What are you, Slater’s moronic nazi brother?

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
10 years ago
Reply to  Bragu Moy

Your obviously not a gun guy and that’s fine. However, if you’re naive enough to think guns are capable of killing people by themselves your hopelessly lost. Before gunpowder humans killed each other with all sorts of weapons. I suppose you think blunt or pointy objects are bad as well? Do you own knives? I would bet so. Does that knife jump up and cut you on its own? The knife in your kitchen has just the same potential for taking a life. A gun is a tool for such things as hunting, recreation, and protection. I’ll keep my guns and you keep your tampon in case your vagina starts bleeding.

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
10 years ago
Reply to  Captain Clark

Oh the classic misogynistic insult regarding the vagina and to make it more intense, the period.

Well, you stupid Floridian moron (now that’s proper insults) the only reason you get to spill your drible is bc your mother had a vagina and it bled. Now go stick your macho guns up her vagina if you really want to disrespect women.

I also love how you tried to mix it up with the use of guns but failed:
Hunting – still killing and totally unnecessary nowadays
Recreation – lost me there mate unless you get off on rubbing your guns and sticking them up the ass
Protection – how do you propose to do that without the possibility of killing and how many times have you resorted to protecting yourself?

As for knives, I tried to cut my vegetables with a 9mm, failed miserably then I tried to justify it by telling my wife that I hunted them while protecting myself from veggie dangerous behaviour and when she didn’t buy it I said it was at least more recreational than using the knife.

She wasn’t convinced and blamed me for the collateral death of our 5 year old.

Women and their fucking sensitive vaginas, hey?

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
10 years ago
Reply to  Bragu Moy

Again, your not a gun guy and that’s okay with me. Hunting is killing and really fun! I kill things and eat their livers. Recreation with guns is really fun as well, you should try it. Activities like sporting clays, skeet, trap, and target shooting are good fun. Protection is a right that I hope to never have to excercise. I’m done insulting you, it doesn’t really accomplish anything. For that I say, sorry. Guns are not toys, so don’t point one at yourself nor anyone else. Good rule of thumb is to treat the gun as if it’s always loaded. I will add that in the hands of criminals, which always have them, are a bad thing. Having said that, I will never give up my right to own and carry a gun. It’s the 2nd amendment to our Constitution. If this offends you then vote for your guy that could change the laws. I didn’t have anything to do with making the laws and don’t break the laws. I pay my taxes, don’t take handouts from the government, and will excercise my rights as an American.

Christopher Peterson
Christopher Peterson
10 years ago

The whole surfing world used revolve around Hawaii seems like it’s more global now and Hawaii needs to catch up i’m not sure what it is I lived there for a long time but I wasn’t born there I was like Rick Cane from the North Shore

James B
James B
10 years ago

And you can keep the Tonino Bensons.

sonny p
sonny p
10 years ago
Reply to  James B

just when i thought you were beat. nice one.

Reptilian
Reptilian
10 years ago

The WSL is on a never-ending mission to suck the fun out of everything

James B
James B
10 years ago

Waste of time. Bring this program to Brazil and you’ll form the next Slaters, AIs and Medinas.

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago
Reply to  James B

No, you’ll get the next Matt Banting or Kanoa Igarashi

James B
James B
10 years ago
Reply to  Seaman Staines

Reality check here, mate?

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
10 years ago
Reply to  James B

It’s called auto-criticism, you should look it up, it’s a foreign concept but you mind find it helpful…

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago
Reply to  James B

I’m not sure what you are getting at but I wouldn’t encourage Brazil to put a program offering a pathway to prosurferdom (in other words a lifetime of coaching) because all it produces are dull contest robots with all hints of personality or creativity beaten out of them. Give me a Adriano with his dogged determination or a Filipe (best small wave surfer in the world) as they are. Australia is producing these pop out journeyman pros because people who think they know better are molding anyone with the slightest hint of potential.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago
Reply to  James B

Well we are on the subject of the next generation… Chuck this through google translate for those that can’t read Portuguese.
http://hardcore.uol.com.br/…

James B
James B
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

MALANDRO!!!

sonny p
sonny p
10 years ago
Reply to  James B

bragu kinda got ya on this one. love that you defend brasil, but lets keep it real and honest so your opinion carries weight.

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Might as well read the (much more) technical and informed insight in the interview with Ricardo Toledo (Toledo’s Dad) in which he analyses the shortcomings of the federal/national fundings for the state teams and exposes why there might be a drought of talent after this wave… couldn’t be fucked looking for the link.

BTW @James B you’re as biased and simplistic in you defense of Brazilian surf as the “gringos” that attack it, therefore you do a poor service of it. Biased x biased = morons having a tussle. And you should be a bit less pretentious in your assumptions about your own importance. I couldn’t even be bothered reading all that to the end. Too much “soberba”!

Hunter Toro
Hunter Toro
10 years ago
Reply to  Bragu Moy

Jame’s article was rubbish. The dude knows fuck all about being objective, let alone objective-reasoning. That much bias towards something you aren’t even directly involved in is sad. A combination of dick-riding, and trying to gain fame/notoriety and money, the likes of which have not been seen since STAB. He is so pretentious it’s not even funny. He goes as far to say that “many believe I came up with the mantra “Brazilian storm”. The dude acts like he is in fact Medina. It’s just over the top. You can’t take it seriously. Like the annoying guy in a club name dropping everyone he knows. Or being the 3rd cousin of someone famous. It is sad. It would lead you to believe he is mentally challenged. I would normally feel bad for him, but he is so proud of it. That’s what is really fucked.

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
10 years ago
Reply to  Hunter Toro

Agreed… I was just trying to go easy on his (massive and delusional) ego.

Hunter Toro
Hunter Toro
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Why would you recommend this? All I really gathered from that was James is pretentious. Oh, and Brazil is broke and corrupt. Something I assumed already.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago
Reply to  Hunter Toro

Recommend is a loaded word… And one I didn’t use. I posted the link because I like James and it was related to the subject matter.

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago
Reply to  James B

if this program ever ends up Brazzoville they need a claim etiquette course too.

James B
James B
10 years ago
Reply to  Lemmy

Etiquette?? Bring Dingo Morrison!!

Bonzer
Bonzer
10 years ago
Reply to  Lemmy

The claim etiquette course took place a couple years ago, haven’t you notice how pretty much everyone now “knows” how to claim?

What we are living now is the Clain etiquette 2.0, a whole ‘nother level of claiming. Like 4.5’s and shit

emphasis to wsl webcast slow-mo claim debauchery fest.

nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
10 years ago
Reply to  James B

they will all die from the shit in the water, or it will turn their skin brown, then not one surf corp will want to market their brown asses!


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