Matt Wilkinson
Y'see WIlko's on-the-money 9.57 yesterday? The kind of surfing y'know these cats can do, but so rarely see. Man, it was something… | Photo: WSL

B-Lynch: “Surfers are tedious pricks!”

A discussion on the state of backhand surfing…

Do you like surfing on your backhand? When a teepee pops up, say, and you are exactly on its peak with priority either way do you go frontside or backside? Let us say each direction offers equal quality and no barrel. Just a fun shoulder high wall. Frontside? 75% of the time? 100%?

As a regular footed man, if I’m surfing a left I enjoy. I like the extra oomph off the top, but all things being equal, prefer life facing the wave. I assume most do and never thought about it much more than that before accidentally catching Heat 4 of Round 4 yesterday afternoon. It was a lethargic affair with Ciao Ibelli vs. Michel Bourez vs. Davey Cathels. Barton Lynch was invited into Ronnie Blakey and Ross Williams Lair of Boredom™. Ross tried to serve Barton some lukewarm fare, “How insane is the tour now! What’s your take on the evolution?” And Barton countered with a very thought provoking monologue. He said:

I do feel that when you watch the traditional backhand line that there has not been as much exploration into the possibilities of backhand surfing as there has been on the front side. If you take Conner or John John for example there’s just so many variations of the frontside turn that they have to add variety to their attack but I don’t feel that’s been explored quite so much on the backhand. The traditional straight up, straight down lots of board in the pocket, in the lip, is so consistent, delivers results, delivers points and is so consistent that people haven’t strayed far from that. So I think there’s a lot of opportunity, personally, I think there’s opportunity in the exploration of that backhand line.

And how great is that? How often do you hear a fairly technical description of surfing that makes you wonder? Never! I thought about it through the rest of the day pondering the state of backside surfing. I thought about Barton Lynch, who I never felt one way or the other about before. Matt Warshaw writes, in his grand epic The Encyclopedia of Surfing:

Lynch earned a reputation as one of the sport’s wittiest and most articulate figures, and for his willingness to express views outside what he correctly viewed as a narrow surf world orthodoxy. Surfing, he said in a 1989 interview, was nothing more than “another outlet for making yourself feel good,” and shouldn’t serve as “the be-all and end-all of your life.” Surfers, he continued, were on the whole the most “self-righteous, cocky and judgmental group of people you’ll find anywhere in the world.”

Which made me continue to ponder why he is not part of the commentary crew? There was a long pause after Barton Lynch finished his excellent discussion on the state of backhand surfing before Ronnie Blakey said, “Fun day out there today, Barton. Heats aren’t just won with the surfing on the wave alone.” Maybe that’s why he is not part of the commentary crew. Because he is not clinically retarded.

What do you feel about the state of backhand surfing? Will you be thinking about it next time you paddle out? Will you try draw a different line?

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omnomnomnivore
omnomnomnivore
10 years ago

waiting for the WSL to provide a public voting for commentators at events and have people like Freddy P, Occy, Ronnie Blakey, Bruce, Bobby M as candidates

EMI
EMI
10 years ago

BL is both professional, heartfelt and intelligent. He doesn’t feel the need to polish surfing’s shiny helmet with platitudes, and clearly cares about performance at the highest level – enough to care about what it could be, not just what it is now.

Jwat
Jwat
10 years ago

where the fuck did you guys go???

Suss Oldman
Suss Oldman
10 years ago

I have always surfed better backside because goofy and Santa Cruz

Reptilian
Reptilian
10 years ago

The WSL should commit to either extreme of commentary, whether that be the washed up, burnt out, borderline dyslexics i.e. Occy, or get some that can actually contribute something other than “Felipe has a good air game.”

Neah Kah Nie Pirate
Neah Kah Nie Pirate
10 years ago

“Because he is not clinically retarded.”

The answer to every question starting with: “why isn’t _______ in a pro surfing commentary booth?”

longtom
longtom
10 years ago

wow, Blakey dropped that like it was a live grenade.

They must be pretty well schooled to keep it vanilla.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago
Reply to  longtom

I think they’re a bit afraid of being too expert. Like for a lot of non-surfers, that conversation is kind of a blind alley.

longtom
longtom
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

aiming at non-surfers, apart from 30 second grabs, is the ultimate blind alley

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Oh you don’t have to convince me of that.

Twoducks
Twoducks
10 years ago

Maybe the WSL could use the “W” part a little more than ram down our throats a made for America version we now get with the token Aussie & Eng/SAF

Jen See
Jen See
10 years ago

Lynch’s commentary is really really fun. He knows actual words! And arranges them in ways that are amusing. I’m a fan.

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
10 years ago

What Barton was trying to say was “go to L”

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  dickie toledo

Ha!

Bubba Zanetti
Bubba Zanetti
10 years ago

The worst part was after Barton’s elevation of the commentary with his passionate technical dissection of the surfing they switched back to the Turpel/Pottz shit show which is the aural equivalent of a retarded dog chasing its tail.

Danny
Danny
10 years ago

Interrupt the man’s in the middle of round 4 and call off after the girl’s final was brutal. Specially the waves firing.

The waiting period is too freacking long. One of my fav. contests to watch is Huntington. Yes, the waves are crap but at least I know when they will run. Right now all the focus is ONLY the quality of the waves.

This call on/call off and extended waiting period makes almost impossible to watch it live (unless you are a surfer journalist or unemployed…or both). And I know that for the athletes (specially the ones without the big sponsors) and journalists on site it’s also brutal.

IMHO they have to have a system that they don’t privilege 100% the waves. I mean, even with all this BS we still have events that the waves are rubbish anyway. I don’t know how the WSL expect to increase their viewers solely focusing on the waves. it has to be a middle of the road way that they think a bit about viewing experience.

Gavrilo Princip
Gavrilo Princip
10 years ago
Reply to  Danny

Pray tell how the world’s best surfers are going to excel in anything that isn’t a world class wave, or as close as possible to world class?

Danny
Danny
10 years ago

If you read my post you know I did not say they should surf in mediocre waves. The focus has to be best waves. But not only that. Well, in my opinion.

Burnsy
Burnsy
10 years ago
Reply to  Danny

Danny, you ought to learn how to read a forecast. Then you might perceive why they went on hold. Full time job here, no problems watching the webcast. Dust off your vagine.

Danny
Danny
10 years ago
Reply to  Burnsy

You should work on the WSL bc not even they know for sure when they will call on and off.

P.S – This is not Stab. If you can’t talk like a normal human being please don’t bother to answer my post.

Burnsy
Burnsy
10 years ago
Reply to  Danny

You must be new here. It’s The Stab, stupid cunt!

Gavrilo Princip
Gavrilo Princip
10 years ago
Reply to  Danny

My friend, here is a link.
http://magicseaweed.com/Bel…
Read. Comprehend. Understand. Then you may grace us with your insights.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
10 years ago

Love the name!

Gavrilo Princip
Gavrilo Princip
10 years ago

Hvala prijatelju

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
10 years ago

Guess we’ll be seeing more of you around here Čovjek iz podruma…

Danny
Danny
10 years ago

Just let me know the day and what time, ok!?

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
10 years ago
Reply to  Danny

Son, you are being a fool. They always say it looks promising tomorrow, they want you to check in everyday even if they know they will only be running in a week. Monday start, by the looks of it!

Bonzer
Bonzer
10 years ago

Tomorrow looks promising then? Nice!

El Gringo
El Gringo
10 years ago
Reply to  Danny

The inertia might be more your speed

Stanley Matthews
Stanley Matthews
10 years ago
Reply to  Danny

If you don’t say “dust off your vagine” on an at least bi-weekly basis, then I’m sorry to have to inform you you’re not a normal human being.

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago
Reply to  Danny

nobody is going to rearrange their schedule around one of these events. if they tried to just run on weekends the shit would be borderline unwatchable like 1/3 of the time. people would win and lose in completely random ways when its so inconsistent that whoever gets a set wave gets through the heat (hassle fest, Kanoa ends up getting choked again)

Lizzie Me
Lizzie Me
10 years ago
Reply to  Danny

Some of what you say is true. I love watching the events live, in good waves, but I am an underemployed surf journalist who can read a swell chart so that could be it… The Huntington comment was taking it too far though.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

Maybe he doesn’t want to be part of it?

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
10 years ago

Lay off Ronnie, he is the best thing the WSL has going!

dickie toledo
dickie toledo
10 years ago

he and rosy of course

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
10 years ago

P.M. me, I can sell you his cell number!

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago

idk i might be the minority here but i think backside surfing is the best its ever been. from airs, tail blows, to bs tube riding. i was kinda baffled when i heard him saying this. Did Barton watch Pipe last year? Has he even heard of Dane Reynolds?

Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle
10 years ago
Reply to  Lemmy

True, but it was still highly interesting to listen to BL dissert, whether one agreed or not.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago
Reply to  Lemmy

AI was surfing backside better 15 years ago than anyone is now. It comes and goes.

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Can’t duplicate style

graham muschachos
graham muschachos
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

How bout your frontside on tour notes? Hitting the bowl hard!

wincy
wincy
10 years ago

Every time i take off on my backhand i hear screaming and wailing and i see millions of dead bodies floating in the blood red water

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago

“What do you feel about the state of backhand surfing? Will you be thinking about it next time you paddle out? Will you try draw a different line?”
To answer:
-It’s stale… not just in contests either… Nick Rozsa comes to mind.
-Of course… unless I forget.
-Yes, pig dog tube to floater to backside lipper (“fins free”) to backside alley oop (lien grab) to cutback to Christ tube to rodeo clown to carving 360 to layback tube to shove-it to switch finishing “bonk”… is that enough variety for you?!


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