FUCK u FCS: u brake my hart!

FCS itz all a lie. A big motherufcking lie.

Itz harrd to see my cmputer scrrren rite now thru the teers in my fukcing eyes n also the whisky. The streek is ded. THE STREAK IZ FUCKINGG DEAD!

Ben up all nite. Been wandering da mean streets of CardifffbytheSEE slugging frm a botle of Jack. Almst finished and the son jst cam up n jest cant get my hed around it FUCK. FUCK! Seabazz. CBAS? Who even iz he? Were did he evn cum from? SeeBazs?

Julien I know and wanna know y? Becuz he rides F   C  s! Becuz heridez the ONLY FIN THAAT WINZ!

so WHAT HAPPN? Tlee me goddmanit! HOW    DID   C-BOSS WIN?

 

He don rid no Fcs.

 

 

HE don ride no fcken FCZ.

hez not on thaat teem. Hiz finz don cum out if he bangs them on a bench or char or somewhere els that ppl can sit or eat or shit.

THE STEAK! THE STrEAK ISZ OVER!

13/13 unluck fockin 13. It ended at 13. culdnt go 14/14 becuz SEE BASS.

 

Im gonna book a flite to Asralia ostrala ag[hoiha Auustria rite now and fck thos judges up.

FUCK YOU WSL!!!!

u brake my heart.

 

AN fcuk u 2 FCS! u mad me beleve. U made me think that humanity culd stil be grate. that we culd stil bild the piramids n shit. tat we culd stop global warming n make world peece. But itz all a lie. A big motherufcking lie.

 

 

life iz shit than u die. Rmember that kidz. Don fall 4 it wen a totally bangable fin company cums around promising grateness. 14/14 will nver happen. Ever.

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Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

He’s having an emotional breakdown i just learned pulled pork sandwiches won margaret river.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
10 years ago

I feel so outdated. This write up reminds me of the texts I have to code break via Google from my younger workers. God bless google. For real though, this is not even B grade material.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

I can so imagine Chris Ward having been a part of this magical night in Cardiff-by-the-Sea. What did he ride again?

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
10 years ago

When do we call an intervention and recognise that Chas Smith is having a (very public) breakdown?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago

Fck u man! U nevr carred. You nevrre caered becuz u dont now how grateness feelz! 14/14 wuz rite there. Rite fckuing ther! Itll never hapen again. Fuked in the asshole by hisory man.

Ghostface Braddah
Ghostface Braddah
10 years ago

Anybody out there doing full quiver conversions? I can’t operate my router with all the teers.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

Me dude, I’ve gone thru a five gal. Bucket of spackle and q cell,so much so that I’m using “cum” to set them.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

Chas Smith Sig FCS template:

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago

Itz prrrrrfct!

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

News out of the USA, FCS sales have collapsed , futures are now thinking thinking of world domination , will Chas be pissed forever now?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

don bring tha shitt to me rite now morris. Can you see? Don u even knew what pain im in?Hav u nevr loved and loss?

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

FFS Chas it 9.00am here and I am just cracking a bottle of scotch open to join you , as , its even hard for me to say , but I just put a set of FCS11’s in my new board and now FFS ,I am not fashionable anymore , but the scotch tastes great , do I have to keep drinking till FCS win another event???

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Yrssssss!

Brutus
Brutus
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

damn . because I am a violent drunk , will keep drinking , wife has put me in a straight jacket , chained me to the garage wall ( not even a full moon) and she is now calling FCS to lift their game or suffer a drunken agro fashion seeking fossil!

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Hahahhahahahah “Morris.”

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

The fucked thing is I think it really is MC?

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
10 years ago

Of course it is..

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

Dude that’s like an 8 track, get with the 2’s!

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago

Not really related but… doesn’t Adam Melling look like a cross between Neil Patrick Harris and William Tecumseh Sherman in that picture? Is it just me? Plz, Chas, I need to know!
P.s. I’m really excited about General Doogie as a nickname…

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

Stu kennedy has a bit of NPH going on to…. the NPH ON THE MPH, that’s the ticket!

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

I wish I was kidding I just had a kid change his order to futures, I spent all my fucking money on the FCS 2 install kit! Fuck time to break out the old dremmel tool, ” the angles are right you little bastard!”

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago

I didn’t know you hired cavvy to write. Ps greatest article ever.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

William Finnegan (& Rory Parker), eat your heart out!

david fffff
david fffff
10 years ago

“cums”

lol

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
10 years ago

hahahaha

That Left
That Left
10 years ago

what will Stab be able to post now?

Bragu Moy
Bragu Moy
10 years ago

You’re a dork… but you’re funny for those that are looking.

claimbomb
claimbomb
10 years ago

FCS- jock surfers
FUTURES- free surfers

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
10 years ago

Zzzz. Who cares what fin system the contest winner used? Get a life, d00d.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

fck u man! u don know nuthin about grateness!

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I know enough about it that the verbal diarrhea excreted above misses it by a longshot, Shakespeare!

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

FCS U MAN!

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I knowz a tun about hartbreak now i haz to thro all my fcs instal cystems out,all 4 of then god dammit!


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