Kieren Perrow has just called the action off. Let's fill our time productively!
Today’s hot professional surf action has just been called off by Kieren Perrow and why does he look so impish when he makes his call? Why does he look like he’s pulling one over on the viewer? Does he know something we don’t? Maybe that the World Surf League is partially funded by a great barrier reef oil concession that is slowly murdering the planet and it is doomsville for all of us? Well, whatever, we have nearly 24 hours to kill until the contest is called off tomorrow too.
And you’ve played that wonderful time killing game shoot, fuck, marry have you not? The rules are simple. Three people/things are presented. You must shoot one, fuck one and marry one. Got it? Good. So let’s play a special World Surf League edition!
Joe Turpel’s hair, Martin Potter’s neutered personality, Pete Mel’s downward gaze.
Margaret River’s Main Break, the Box, North Point.
Round 2, Round 4, the finals
a little jam, a carve off the top, a little air reverse
Ronnie Blakey’s sexual charisma, Strider’s boyish enthusiasm, Ross William’s metaphors
What else?
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Shoot the pier like Laird, fuck WSL like Noa and marry Jackie Miller like Retwardo
kieren Perrow was always pitched as the smart guy on tour so when he took the job as chief commissioner I was impressed and excited by the WSL for making such a brave decision. But with every dawn patrol cross to the commisioner my disappointment has grown to dispair at the limited dialogue around his decision to declare its on or not, Does any on else feel the same sadnes after the commissioners dawn patrol declarations?
kill ugly silvana, fuck hot rosie, marry sweet tyler…
Surely the more important question is whether Turpel is languidly wanking behind The Giant Desk while Potter talks tits and Mel concentrates hard on squeaking one out without following through
Kill Pottz. That is all.
How about these?:
-Pete’s scarf, Strider’s top button, Ronnie’s Canadian Tuxedo
-Mick’s snaggle teeth, Taj’s perpetual sunburn, Nat’s freckles
-WSL shark spotters, Portugal back up venues, Filipe’s vagina
-Turpel at Bells, Turpel at J-Bay, Turpel at Pipe (trick question, as the only acceptable answer is “kill” or “shoot” for all…)
You can’t make me play this game, Chas.
What if he takes you up on your dinner and drinks offer? would you play then?
Yeah! What then?
Well…if we have to play in person then that completely changes things. Although there will be copious amounts of alcohol involved so I’ll probably end up blurting out FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! The entire time like a hardcore Tourette’s sufferer. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
When is the comp resuming?
Beachgrit, stab, TMZ
Sorry but I already emptied the whole clip on Turpel.
1: Fuck, Kill, Marry
2: Kill, Fuck, Marry
3: Kill, Marry, Fuck
4: Fuck, Marry, Kill
Can I just fuck the box and ignore the others?