John John Florence Margaret River Pro
Maybe the problem's the old guard, the decrepit fuckers in their thirties and onwards that have had a stranglehold on competitive surfing for the last decade plus. Taj, Mick, Parko, Kerr, Slater, et al., have been destroying rookie dreams for far too long. Once they're all gone, exploring life post-tour, selling real estate or shilling soft goods or drinking themselves into oblivion, the young guys will finally get a chance to come into their own. | Photo: WSL

Parker: “Bring on the new guard!”

Is the tour's old man stranglehold at an end?

I’ve been watching the Florence/Ibelli heat on repeat, trying to figure out how the hell it makes me feel.

Tough call, definitely a close one. I really want to say the judges got it wrong. JJ’s coping clicker frontside three got my panties wet. Such a cool approach to a wonky section. Lickety-split rotation, right into a steezy layback into the pocket. Different, stylish, loose limbed beauty. Gotta love it. Should’ve scored higher, right?

But Caio… he done good! Went for risk in the dying moments. Pretty big rev, but not backed up by a heck of a lot. Judges gave him a hair too much credit, we’ve been there before.

JJ deserved a bit more, Caio a tad less. Would it have changed the result? I dunno.

2016 Drug Aware Margaret River Pro: Round 3, Heat 11 Video

It was enough to make me pay attention to the new Brazzo, though.

Went back through his heats, I like what I see. Don’t know what to call his approach. Aggressive-conservative seems good. A lot of commitment behind that wide stance. Sits somewhere in the middle. Dazzles better than De Souza, makes heats better than JJ. He kitesurfs, apparently. That’s weird.

Probably makes me racist, wrote him off without really looking. Figured he was a ‘QS type cat, bring some strong tactics, nothing fancy. But some of my best friends are Brazilian!

Not true. Even if it were, saying so would definitely make me racist.

Tracks hornswoggled me into defending my Dead Ball Era label. Then brought in Matt Warshaw to rebut. Son of a bitch had the nerve to disagree.

How dare he? Just because he has decades more experience behind him, knows more about pro surfing than anyone else on Earth, the guy thinks he has the right to provide a rational, thoughtful, view that differs from mine? Makes me angrier than a cat in a sack!

But maybe he’s right, maybe things are getting better.

Maybe the problem’s the old guard, the decrepit fuckers in their thirties and onwards that have had a stranglehold on competitive surfing for the last decade plus. Taj, Mick, Parko, Kerr, Slater, et al., have been destroying rookie dreams for far too long. Once they’re all gone, exploring life post-tour, selling real estate or shilling soft goods or drinking themselves into oblivion, the young guys will finally get a chance to come into their own.

A team sport gives rookies time to transition. Sit the bench a bit, figure out that performance bump from really good to best in the world. Tack some muscle onto a pubescent frame. But surf is do or die, sink or swim, a weak first year can kill a promising career.

Don’t get me wrong, the judging still sucks, and the word “jam” is the worst. But maybe I should ditch the doom and gloom and appreciate potential, instead of lamenting reality.

Whatever the case, the first four events are almost always a drag. Tapping my feet, impatient.

Can we just get to Fiji already?

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
25 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
dickie toledo
dickie toledo
10 years ago

american crime story: the people vs world surf league.

James B
James B
10 years ago

Man, all JJF has to do was to hold on to priority and don´t let Caio surf his last wave…

Now it´s gone, Caio won second heat in a row and kept the hawaian princess Alessa. And John? Back to Hawai, to listen Pyzel saying how a freakish surfer he is.

James B
James B
10 years ago

C´mon, Rory!! no brazilian friends?? And what about me, brah????

lorne
lorne
10 years ago

i think there’s been a shift in the size of the wave being a factor this year, at Bells there were several occasions where the commentators gushed over Mick catching the smaller waves saying how tactical it was. in prior years i’m sure he would have been marked down (he would never get marked down at Bells but you know what i mean, others definitely would have) but the way the commentators spoke about it stood out to me that maybe there’s been a change

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago

This one is about 20 minutes away from Bells and it ain’t no fucking secret. Bells is one of the most consistent (or consistently underwhelming) whichever way you look at it.

wally
wally
10 years ago

Wow! Matt Warshaw calls for Rosy Hodge to be sacked. Does Matt also hate puppy dogs and rainbows? Has Matt gone mad?

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
10 years ago

JJF didn’t finish a single wave properly and blew priority at the end, again. He deserved to lose.

Lemmy
Lemmy
10 years ago

i cant even analyze heats anymore. the judging is beyond off when you think someone has it, they dont. And when you think they dont, they throw their hands in the air and get the score.

Mapski
Mapski
10 years ago

If “new guard” means more Alex Ribeiro and Kanoa Igarashi give me the old guard.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

Might finally give guys like Jordy and Julz room to move up the pecking order and get all next level on our arses?

Darghh
Darghh
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I’m losing patience with those two. They got the skills, sure, but the sanitized personality and pulled back surfing frustrate me.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago
Reply to  Darghh

I hear ya! Jordy’s feature film surfing vs Jordy in a heat…

Mapski
Mapski
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Said move will come with next level claims.

lorne
lorne
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

i’d prefer to think the next generation has already passed them and they wasted the last 5-10 years sitting around waiting for the old dogs to move on instead actually going for it.

in any case i’d say their “Joel Parkinson lifetime achievement world title” can’t be too far away (paraphrased from some comment section legend i can’t remember the name of)

James B
James B
10 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Jordy? Can´t surf lefts. Jules? too soft.

Redneck
Redneck
10 years ago
Reply to  James B

soft, eh?

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

I’ve been a little harsh on young Igarashi so I might as well keep it up, yesterday Stephanie Gilmore genuinely surfed with more rail and power than Kanoa has.

The kid can do all the moves and is not offensive to look at I guess but he has no power. I’m somewhat baffled that his parents moved from Japan to raise him as a pro surfer (**Spews on keyboard) and chose Huntington Beach as the ideal place to do this and even more baffling is the fact this strategy has worked.

Ghostface Braddah
Ghostface Braddah
10 years ago
Reply to  Seaman Staines

It is depressing that it worked.

Mapski
Mapski
10 years ago
Reply to  Seaman Staines

Contests every weekend, the industry centered nearby, plenty of ways to get noticed as you ascend the NSSA ladder. A perfect place to pimp your golden goose.

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/emb…” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen=””></iframe>

Lolo
Lolo
10 years ago

I reckon “high line wrap” has “jam” covered. What the fuck is a high line wrap? Have you ever done one? How do I do one? Is it a “”wrap” or a “rap”? Has anyone other than Joe Turpel ever used that phrase?

Tom
Tom
10 years ago
Reply to  Lolo

I”m waiting for him to say “mid line” and then “bottom line” wrap – because I don’t know what the fuck a high line wrap is either!! Is it a way to educate middle America? I’m guessing it is only way they can say re entry – because saying “re entry” or “reo” makes no sense either really for most watching unless they surf!!
The only vernacular that makes any sense is “arcing turn” as it describes the movement but really I mostly have no idea what they saying except WOW

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

Warshaw shouted you (and Bill Finnegan) out on the Surfer website today, Rory. Still an SOB though!

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
10 years ago

I saw that! Huge ego stroke, for sure.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
10 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

Im not gonna up-vote, I think you’ve had enough attention for the day.


25
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x