For the second time in a row, Caio roasts JJ! Round three, Margaret River Pro…
John John Florence is a big man. A full six-feet in height, noble shoulders, tits like well-fed crabs ready to pounce on the fleshy parts of the unwary diver. He has the best contractual arrangements on tour (roughly three million dollars a year) and, you would think, banks on better than ninths at Margaret River, Fiji, Tahiti, France and Hawaii.
Who knew he’d be cuckolded by a tiny (a full five inches shorter), balding rookie two events in a row? But you gotta love a man who slings a heat-winning eight-point five with a minute on the clock and who hacks out these gorgeous quotes, post-match.
“John John is a really good surfer and I love to watch him surf,” Ibelli said. “I spent my whole life watching him and cheering for him, but now that I am on tour I really want to beat everyone. This was the second time in a row that John John and I met. It was hard. On my second wave I almost hurt myself on the rocks and I thought the pain would not let me surf. At the last second John John let that wave go and I could land an air and make the heat last minute.”
Watch the abridged version of that heat here.
Leo Fioravanti reminds me of someone, someone very Margaret River? Someone not Taj Burrow (who also lost today) but… close. James Catto! Does anyone remember Catts and his reckless talent?
A year older than Taj, maybe better, who jumped down the rabbit hole of being too-cool-for-contests, and who, last time I heard, was doing shop fit-outs while Taj fingers his bricks of cash every night before going to bed with his model girlfriend. Anyway, Leo has the same long-limbed, tail-stomping technique as Catts. Who’d Leo stomp in round three? Adriano De Souza. Kelly Slater yesterday, the reigning world champ today.
Kolohe’s heat with Wiggoly was studded with brilliant and illuminating passages. Watch!
Gabriel? He swung and fell and won against Melling. Let’s slow-mo.
Who’s going to fling four or five more heats together and win this damn thing? These ungraspable phantoms called World Tour events?
A first for Zietz?
Jordy?
Wilko…again?
Drug Aware Margaret River Pro Men’s Round 3 Results:
Heat 1: Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 12.00 def. Matt Banting (AUS) 9.27
Heat 2: Joel Parkinson (AUS) 17.40 def. Michel Bourez (PYF) 11.60
Heat 3: Julian Wilson (AUS) 16.90 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 9.80
Heat 4: Nat Young (USA) 18.10 def. Taj Burrow (AUS) 14.77
Heat 5: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 15.50 def. Josh Kerr (AUS) 12.90
Heat 6: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) 15.60 def. Adriano de Souza (BRA) 15.50
Heat 7: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 14.67 def. Adam Melling (AUS) 13.10
Heat 8: Kolohe Andino (USA) 16.10 def. Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 11.20
Heat 9: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 18.54 def. Kanoa Igarashi (USA) 14.16
Heat 10: Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 17.73 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 16.20
Heat 11: Caio Ibelli (BRA) 16.27 def. John John Florence (HAW) 15.54
Heat 12: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 12.43 def. Alejo Muniz (BRA) 8.23
Drug Aware Margaret River Pro Men’s Round 4 Match-Ups:
Heat 1: Matt Wilkinson (AUS), Joel Parkinson (AUS), Julian Wilson (AUS)
Heat 2: Nat Young (USA), Adrian Buchan (AUS), Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA)
Heat 3: Gabriel Medina (BRA), Kolohe Andino (USA), Jordy Smith (ZAF)
Heat 4: Sebastian Zietz (HAW), Caio Ibelli (BRA), Italo Ferreira (BRA)
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It would be nice to keep the Stab style Nationalistic bullshit away from this site don’t you all think? I know James B see’s himself as the defender of all that is Brazil but I personally think he pushes their cause backwards, I’m not sure what sort of insecurity leads to claims of a Nations success from achievements of an individual, I’d be more concerned about the death of pro surfing contests as they get less and less interesting every year, although personally it won’t affect me, don’t want to sound like an old man but perhaps the golden age of competition is actually behind us.
Why perhaps SS? For sure it is, it has been for a while. We keep on watching it though, don’t quite understand why.
There are moments of brilliance, you just have to sit through a lot of rewarded mediocrity, it is testing to say the least.
Yes SS, quite painful to sit through all that rewarded mediocrity, but that’s all good. What is a big downer is seeing the judges fuck up pretty much every time a moment of brilliance takes place.
How many air’s like Caio’s have we seen? And how many like the one JJF pulled?
fuck the wsl!
do you think they will run today?
Nationalistic bullshit?? I was talking about spear fishing!!!!
Well we all know fisheries are a frequent cause of diplomatic dispute.
tks for your thoughts, old man, now get your blanket and go to bed…
…no, no, no. Leo is Catto, Leo is long-limbed. Caio is five-and-a-half feet to John John’s sixish…
Catto! Remember that Rusty vid where his section opened with him smoking in a tube? Defining fast & loose! No surf company would dare include that these days. I would love to know how my former idol is doing
i’d back a company with Wardo, Catto, Davo, and Margo as the only team riders from here forward. literally, no one else, ever. Sean Homes could be a hangaround though, and Braden Diaz.
Seeing them claim as they wash up on the rocks like salmon heading clumsily upstream is horrible. For the sake of the sports integrity the judges should tell them to skip the end section. A pedestrian lipper onto dry rocks is just fucking stupid.
Full commitment to the very end! I’m loving it!
The bricks.
Surgeon’s Table says Pottz
Whether he was over scored is besides the point. JJF let him catch that wave under his priority which was a mistake the new and improved coach hiring, contest savy JJF wasn’t suppose to make. And really the only important take away from the piece is that John has”tits like well-fed crabs”.
On the priority thing: exactly.
Who the fuck cares about priority? Besides the wsl and a bunch of fuckers that can’t have a grasp of what surfing is really about…that is.
Nobody cares but the WSL. And those are the guys handing out the prize money and the points. So if JJF wants to be world champ he’s got to play the game, however stupid the game is. I would much rather see JJF advance than Caio but you can’t let him get that last wave under your priority.
How about the WSL and the judges getting their shit together and start providing a better “game” for us to watch?
Wow, what entertainment! Both local wildcards are out (That was quick). The reigning world champ is out. The king is out. Taj is out as well as j-flo and JJF. Only Seabass can save us from Wilko’s mindless repetition and yet another win.
They should really just call this thing the World Wave Catching Tour because actual wave riding talent obviously has little to do with who wins at the end.
Wow Caio was so fucking overscored
You think? Cause I thought the opposite. Compare his 6s with JJ 7s and get back to me.
Compare Johns 7.5 and Caios 7.7 and get back to me
I think Caios 6.9 was probably a bit underscored, still don’t think it compare to Johns mid and high 7s
and you can”t see the bias in your view?
Said the boy who spits more biased opinions than anyone else. Objective reasoning is not in your bag of tricks, is it?
Well, that will make 2 harpoons in a row. Maybe John John could invite Caio to a North shore spear fishing tour in his boat in december??
Ciao won’t be interested…..there are big scary waves out there….he will be surfing in town….dominating the peak and a heavy line-up of woman’s ct surfers….. I wonder if Alessa has ever thought of dating a full size man?
Ohhh. Look at you all heart broken. I’m incapable of feeling pity so man up.
You wanna talk manhood? JJF sexuality is the biggest question mark on the tour, along with Lyndie’s sex life after AI.
who are you, gossip girl?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
C’mon, Tiger, grow up!
thats what im saying to Caio!
Does auto-correct keep changing Caio to Ciao for you too?
i’ve just adopted ciao as my spelling. it’s fun! and easy!
(also i’m bad at spelling)