For the second time in a row, Caio roasts JJ! Round three, Margaret River Pro…
John John Florence is a big man. A full six-feet in height, noble shoulders, tits like well-fed crabs ready to pounce on the fleshy parts of the unwary diver. He has the best contractual arrangements on tour (roughly three million dollars a year) and, you would think, banks on better than ninths at Margaret River, Fiji, Tahiti, France and Hawaii.
Who knew he’d be cuckolded by a tiny (a full five inches shorter), balding rookie two events in a row? But you gotta love a man who slings a heat-winning eight-point five with a minute on the clock and who hacks out these gorgeous quotes, post-match.
“John John is a really good surfer and I love to watch him surf,” Ibelli said. “I spent my whole life watching him and cheering for him, but now that I am on tour I really want to beat everyone. This was the second time in a row that John John and I met. It was hard. On my second wave I almost hurt myself on the rocks and I thought the pain would not let me surf. At the last second John John let that wave go and I could land an air and make the heat last minute.”
Watch the abridged version of that heat here.
Leo Fioravanti reminds me of someone, someone very Margaret River? Someone not Taj Burrow (who also lost today) but… close. James Catto! Does anyone remember Catts and his reckless talent?
A year older than Taj, maybe better, who jumped down the rabbit hole of being too-cool-for-contests, and who, last time I heard, was doing shop fit-outs while Taj fingers his bricks of cash every night before going to bed with his model girlfriend. Anyway, Leo has the same long-limbed, tail-stomping technique as Catts. Who’d Leo stomp in round three? Adriano De Souza. Kelly Slater yesterday, the reigning world champ today.
Kolohe’s heat with Wiggoly was studded with brilliant and illuminating passages. Watch!
Gabriel? He swung and fell and won against Melling. Let’s slow-mo.
Who’s going to fling four or five more heats together and win this damn thing? These ungraspable phantoms called World Tour events?
A first for Zietz?
Drug Aware Margaret River Pro Men’s Round 3 Results:
Heat 1: Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 12.00 def. Matt Banting (AUS) 9.27
Heat 2: Joel Parkinson (AUS) 17.40 def. Michel Bourez (PYF) 11.60
Heat 3: Julian Wilson (AUS) 16.90 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 9.80
Heat 4: Nat Young (USA) 18.10 def. Taj Burrow (AUS) 14.77
Heat 5: Adrian Buchan (AUS) 15.50 def. Josh Kerr (AUS) 12.90
Heat 6: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) 15.60 def. Adriano de Souza (BRA) 15.50
Heat 7: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 14.67 def. Adam Melling (AUS) 13.10
Heat 8: Kolohe Andino (USA) 16.10 def. Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 11.20
Heat 9: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 18.54 def. Kanoa Igarashi (USA) 14.16
Heat 10: Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 17.73 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 16.20
Heat 11: Caio Ibelli (BRA) 16.27 def. John John Florence (HAW) 15.54
Heat 12: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 12.43 def. Alejo Muniz (BRA) 8.23
Drug Aware Margaret River Pro Men’s Round 4 Match-Ups:
Heat 1: Matt Wilkinson (AUS), Joel Parkinson (AUS), Julian Wilson (AUS)
Heat 2: Nat Young (USA), Adrian Buchan (AUS), Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA)
Heat 3: Gabriel Medina (BRA), Kolohe Andino (USA), Jordy Smith (ZAF)
Heat 4: Sebastian Zietz (HAW), Caio Ibelli (BRA), Italo Ferreira (BRA)