Kelly Slater agrees to surf professionally until he reaches the half century mark!
Five years ago I met Matt Warshaw. He had written a gorgeous piece in The New York Times imploring Kelly Slater to hang it up after ten world titles and go out at his peak:
It’s been pointed out that a lot of the people who want Slater to continue are older surfers, people who need him out there performing for the same reason a few million baby boomers need the Rolling Stones out there performing — because, illusion or not, it keeps the flame of youth alive.
Hell, I’m old. I’m 50. And I say to Kelly Slater: give us a wave and a smile and walk away. Do the thing that virtually every other sports legend, from Ali to Armstrong, has been unable to do. Go out on top. Nobody’s getting close to that record. Not in your lifetime, and probably not ever.
I countered in the equally impressive Surfing Magazine with some foolishness about how Kelly should never retire:
Truth be told, Robert Kelly Slater is aging better than any living man. Better than Brad Pitt, better than George Clooney. Better than Keith Richards. He is immune to skin-crinkling UV rays. He is immune to moisture-sapping salt. His eyes, and I swear this is true, get bluer and bluer each time we speak. His skin a more even caramel. He is a perfect stasis of gravitas and youthful charm. He is wisdom and vigor. And it would be a mortal sin to deprive a surf public of that sort of genuine handsome. It would be a mortal sin to leave us with Heitor Alves.
I believed it at the time and it was worth writing because Matt and I had a good laugh about it in person and are now fast friends. This year, though, I’ve wavered before jumping completely into the camp that his career is over and watching the slow death is too sad.
But yesterday! His boards look terrible but his surfing wasn’t bad and then that post-heat interview. Not often does the loser step up to Rosy Hodge’s hot mic. Not often to we see actual pain in the eyes, hear a voice searching for answers. Kelly’s graciousness in that moment made me remember what we are going to lose. It made me want to stave off his retirement for as long as we can. I’m going to pretend he will stay professional surfing until he hits the half century mark. Would you like to join me?
What’s wrong with being a Kai Otten, Kieran Perrow or even Ace Buchan? Those guys are/were there because when the waves get good, they start waltzing through rounds. If you ask me a string of 25ths and 13ths is worth it if for a few hours of spotlight at Fiji, Tahiti and Pipe. If I were Kelly I’d be satisfied with an event win a year and 15th overall. Then again I’m not Kelly… Who knows what goes through that guys head??
On the morning show Taj mentioned Webber had shaped him one of those banana boards, been sitting in his garage for years & never touched water. Says a lot about them. Sure Herro rippped on them but that was a different time.
Let´s see if I got it straight.
The man still surfs and competes better than 95% of the tour, but, yet, since his is old and far from his prime, many suggest that he should retire.
I wonder what we should suggest to the rest of the tour. Maybe mass suicide.
It would be like the ATP trying to retire Nadal and Federer for not beating Djokovic nowadays.
Huh, I think his boards are looking great under his feet.
The announcers spent the entire Snapper contest talking about how his boards are weird. I think they succeeded in framing the narrative. To me, his boards are smooth and he’s whipping incredibly fast turns.
Is that MR’s silver 911? That Italian kid was ripping..Im not saying Kelly’s surfing is not relevant any guy over 40 burying a rail, I will applaud. But he maybe walking the fine line of being the Martha Stewart of the sport of kings. He is portrayed as the white knight of our beloved endeavor. We all know the brand puppeteer’s have kept a many athletes poor habits, and choices from public view.. If his armor is as clean as he portrays he may have a shot of being Pope! Imagine what he could sell?
P.S.
Dear Robert Kelly,
If you are going to pull up in a silver Porsche you better be riding a MR. He looked way cooler.. Give back to the world you have had a killer life. Anything less will be fleeting and ultra capitalistic.. Surfing core will be moving away from uber brand and every few years young pros will jump in with new company i.e. small core skating companies.. I know grom’s who are already seeing through the corporate surf veil. Even one who walked away from his first meeting with with surf co. marketing director thinking he was lame. The guy SoCalBro’d him hard. The kid called him a dingdong on the phone when he called back with weak cauazi attempt to appologize for SoCal Bro’ness.. The grom dropped the company said Im good thanks but no thanks.
Must have degenerated at a record rate, since two months ago he beat a world class field at pipe. How quickly the hyenas encroach.
He just won the volcom pipe pro! Do people forget this shit or what? Would Charlie medinas smiling have written this (mostly accurate) bullshit on the eve of that win? Pray to Huey kelly.
I’m enjoying the decline of the Pax Slater Imperium as much as the rise….he’s losing so beautifully, so gracefully; with so much tender, uncomprehending innocence and childlike lack of understanding. And there’s so much to learn, so much more to learn from losing than winning. Losing awaits us all: as Heidegger pointed out, all possibilities of being in the world diminish as we approach death.
I’m grateful that we are seeing this slow shutting down of the possibilities of Slater; at least as far as Slater as Professional surfer is concerned.
If the goal is to “fail better” as Brecht asserted then Slater is doing that wonderfully well. Not a trace of sarcasm in that.
Beckett. Not Brecht. Beckett is to Brecht as Slater is to you and me.
the heidegger quote is probably wrong too.
You two must rip, because Brecht’s no slouch.
Slater’s boards look terrible. Shane Dorian is surfing well enough and is fit enough to be on tour. Slater as well. His boards have looked so bad, I think the judges over score him because most of his waves are in the 4-5 point range riding those pigs. He should listen to pink floyd with Tomo and ride those ridiculous boards in between events only.
If you had wondered whether you could make a surfboard that is too light the answer is yes.
I do also think mental thing for Kelly, or confidence and second guessing himself and bit bad luck in heats??
Check below from friends at Inertia tho!!!!
Cant argue that he is not relevant with this surfing
http://www.theinertia.com/s…
Kelly Slater surfing until fifty? Sure, why not? I was just sitting along the springtime banks of the local pond, listening as the crows serenade my lonely fishing rod and contemplated the meaning of life. I pondered, ‘just what is my purpose in this swirling cosmic mass of metal birds and fiberglass horses?’ I left the pond, unsatisfied and perplexed, and went into the house to watch television. Finally, it occurred to me while watching a re-run of that old nineties-era program “Baywatch.” You may recall the poorly written, entirely forgettable drama starring Kelly Slater and the German superstar David Hasselhoff, as surfers and lifeguards prancing about in very gay knickers, saving attractive ladies from evil and eventually bedding them.
This was just the epiphany I needed, and all of life’s purpose came suddenly into perfect focus! I’ll shorten all my boards to match my son’s skateboard, sell all my worldly possessions, change my identity, and travel around the world, living on Acai bowls and Purps. I will search and find all unrighteousness, seeking injustice in all its aspects, righting wrongs and promoting truth, justice and the Western way. I will concentrate, primarily on beautiful damsels in distress who’ve run into trouble with evil organized crime figures in the fashion industry.
I’ll become a modern-day Kelly Slater. A little more body fat on a frame roughly seven inches taller, much more hair that is often mistaken for Herman Munster, and far fewer sexual encounters with distressed single boys from East Asia, who, despite looking like supermodels, are living in poverty and in dire need of heroic salvation.
Fifty is the new forty three. Long live the king!
He is just waiting to see if surfing gets in to 2020 Olympics tokyo – prob in his wavepools.
Then he will go out on top!!!
There reason he hasn’t retired is that pro surfing defines him. All these side projects are evidence of Kelly searching for something to occupy him when the tour stops. But it’s like someone who starts their own business when young. They bust themselves for years, sell out when they’re getting too old and then sit there thinking “What am I going to do now? Who am I now? I’m miserable without the business.” Reality is hitting Kelly and it’s painful and ugly. Many go through it but for different reasons. This time around it’s the most famous pro surfer in the world dealing with reality in front of everyone. Eventually, regardless of his incredible and probably untouchable record, he will be another old guy who was once great. Young surfers 25 years from now will pay him has much notice as current grommets pay to MR, Rabbit and Shaun. i.e. Sweet Fuck all. They will be focused on the next generation of John Johns and Toledos and what ever ridiculous pickle spinning tricks they can do. And for someone who has been the centre of the universe for two decades, that impending reality has gotta sting. I hope something wild happens and he wins Cloudbreak or Pipe this year so he can go out on a high, but on current form you’d have to say the window is closing. He sure as shit does not look like a title contender and he said once a few years ago that he only wanted to be there if he was still in the mix for a title. Good luck Mr Slater and thanks for the memories, but the time you have been dreading has arrived.
Haha, not til 50 but hot damna boy!! Def wanna see him get his mojo going again and stomp some shit with some definitive authority! Let it known that the King can Kill and take out a couple events (the straight pumping ones like hopefully Fiji, Tahiti..anywhere the conditions turn up strong and good) and find himself in the top 3 after Pipe.. Then pull a Mick before full retirement, and surf 2 or 3 events next year so he can claim 45 years of age and still be doing it on the WT. That’d be cool with me. He’s got enough other shit to keep him busy after that.
Absolutely. His surfing is still great to watch, regardless of results in heats.
Just give Kelly a special seeding which means each event he is automatically thru to the quarters.
He has aged a lot this year. losing seems to be having a degenerative effect on him.
If he keeps losing, he may be confused for Nick Carroll by Pipe.
Get your head (mind) examined. Kelly remains a best surfer in the world at gnarly Pipeline, Cloudbreak & Teahupoʻo. If France & Portugal turn on, Kelly is also right up there. Also J-Bay. Kelly is world class when the waves are world class.
Umm, you missed the combination of satire and the point Mr Dee.
Uh, no. I recall Gabs winning in Fiji and Tahiti recently, but not Kelly. That’s kinda the point.
hang it up graciously please….don`t do what Anderson Silva is doing…
Let’s worry if he starts surfing skimboards. Until then I’ll keep watching.