But what a career!
Playing puppetmaster to the most feared creature in the world… what’s not to love about being a shark researcher?
You get to go out on boats, marvel in the majesty of nature, lure giant beasts into your trap, sew sophisticated little beepers into their guts and then, in a gesture of environmental magnanimity unprecedented in human history, let them go.
Later, back at the lab, you can sit there with your feet on the desk, watching as your pets swim from one surf beach to the next, reassuring yourself that human casualties from your little lovelies are statistically insignificant, especially to the majority of people who don’t even go in the ocean.
And it’s those masses of people, you know, who are lathering your fresh sourdough in Echire. As long as you maintain the rage against “human intervention” in the environment, and never miss an opportunity to emphasise the urgency for more research, your career is guaranteed.
And what a career!
You can condescendingly dismiss people who, in their ignorance, are stupid enough to fear being eaten alive! You will be revered by misanthropes who believe every species on Earth is better, more virtuous and wonderful than humans! Politicians will throw money at your proposals, secure in the knowledge that green money is well spent!
Never mind that your tagging operations are in fact a form of “human intervention” that has dubious results. Environmentalists are never bothered by facts, as long as they dig the vibe of what you’re doing.
And try not to dwell too long on those tags that disappear as soon as they are attached to a shark. Like refugees drowning on their way to Australia, these are the unseen, and therefore acceptable, costs of being seen to care.
Those wonderful, majestic, powerful, awesome sharks that swam away, never to be heard from again. Did they die?
Were they deprived of food because their prey were forewarned of their presence by the very tag you attached?
Did the tag cause them irritation and infection, and possibly kill them?
Best not to think too much about that. But even if those outcomes are correct, that you did contribute to the death of your beloved apex predators, then surely they died knowing that your research was helping them survive.
For more on Australia’s extensive, expensive and mostly futile shark tagging programs, click here…
Actually most marine ecologists/scientists I know are very passionate divers, a group that seems, at least theoretically, at risk (I don’t know the exact numbers). Trying to discredit the research by portraying them as some hippy geeks, while in fact most are more like Jacques Cousteau, is pretty lame.
Likens Wilko’s reaction to that of an over-sensitive prima donna, writes article about himself being targeted by Wilko’s fans.
Criticises shark researchers for condescendingly dismissing people, dismisses shark researchers condescendingly.
Doesn’t Fred already have a platform for his un-objective views? Can’t we just go there if we want to read items like this?
Mini-mal riders prevent children from being kidnapped Stormy. You know that.
i picture fred sitting there sipping his shark fin soup as he banged away on the keyboard.
“no-one gets to take my soup away from me, no-one!”
We’re not allowed to ride mini-males?
Oh, I see, “mini-mals”. Phew.
I tend to like science. But I hate sharks. What has shark science taught us that will change my mind. Until then, I’m with Fred.
not to have sex with sharks?
Male sharks have two reproductive organs, called claspers. During sex, they insert them into the female shark’s reproductive opening, called a cloaca. Though the claspers are paired, male sharks only use one at a time, depending on which side he “docks” into. Though the claspers are paired, male sharks only use one at a time, depending on which side he “docks” into. He is secured inside the female through tiny hooks that fasten to the cloaca. the use of biting to hold a female in place is nearly universal among species of sharks. This is called pre-copulatory biting, a pre-mating ritual stems from the female’s frequent tendency to resist the male’s advances. It’s usually easy to tell when a female has undergone mating, as she will have bite marks, raw skin and possibly even be bleeding — basically the shark’s idea of a hickey. The female blue shark species gets the worst of it, appearing severely wounded after mating season.
sounds like a chick I dated in college.
that selfie sticks are more dangerous than sharks?
Without using google tell me what astrophysics has done for you. Only because you don’t know the worth of something doesn’t negate its existence.
I didn’t know what Echire is. Gotta try some.
My disinterest in your bullshit is so tangible you can make bricks out of it, Fred. As one infamous FS poster once spewed – go kick rocks.
Amen brother
Thanks for the link to the subscriber only article.
What is with that shit and the Murdoch papers? Fuck that
i can’t help but agree with his snide view. the answer to the ongoing shark problem based on their many years of research and tracking is that they don’t have an answer, they’re as clueless as we are, but what they do know is that with more money and more research they might maybe know more.
First of all, love that photo of Caveira plugged into the mainframe above. Secondly, it’s been really strange to witness the opinion of surfing magazines towards sharks change so dramatically. When I first started commenting I was abused endlessly for suggesting it would be fun to shoot sharks from my tinnie. Now it seems like shark hunting is a depraved fantasy of most surfers.
I sympathize with you. What kind of world do we live in nowadays that a guy can’t go shark hunting without the strident yelping of environmentalist cunts? Why, in a better world, we’d be able to hunt both sharks AND dirty hippies. Speaking of which, during my old LA punk rock days (circa 1980), we used to beat the fuck out of hippies, just for fun! Oh, for those bygone times…
I was only old enough to know whats going on at the tail end of the 80’s but my old man reckons there used to be a lot of skinheads around and whenever they’d rock up to the pub he’d peel out. He tells this story about one night a bunch of them came in and beat the fuck out of all the security and just rioted inside one of the old suburban pubs on Beach Road in Melbourne. Punching chicks and everything. Pretty fucked up.
FFS wogilly , skin heads were from the 60’s , as were the mods , fuck I’m old , but surfers in the 60’s and even the 70’s were not hippies , all could fight and when there’s no surf , go and look for fights and that’s what pubs were for , go and get pissed have a fight , then fuck a Sheila!
yeah and those greenies , fuck the planet , fuck the greenies and vote for Donald /Malcom and lets get serious !
Alright lets just call them bald cunts who like fighting bouncers and punching chicks then Maurice? I’d love to jump in a time machine and witness a young Maurice Cole and Nick Carroll having a bit of wrestle over some girl with a 3 inch long bush at Torquay Hotel. I’d come over and bang your little heads together and then buy a jug. Wouldn’t it be nice.
I even hate to admit it, but Nick is a fair bit younger than me , but fark ya shoulda seen the guys who were my mentors , rugged wild west boys , shit I actually think the skinheads now have cleaned up their act and are politicians , or maybe journalists…..when they get too serious like Fred , the enviro mentalist
It’s only six or seven years according to the internet. Pardon me for saying this but may I add that you have fared better in the face of death than young Nick. Your comparatively smooth complexion is a testimony to keeping a moderate demeanor and not punching out adoring fans in restaurants. This Fred Pawle guy is a kook right?
Not a kook, a fine surfer from one of the world’s finest beaches on the finest coast of the finest country.
He just hates the conscience laundering industry.
You’d definitely get on with him, he’s a funny cunt in real life.
You’ve read Fred’s piece on Sarge…?
http://stabmag.com/style/sa…
oh yeah , very homophobic , and the powers to be got Sarge back , including Rab , I wonder what would happen if he woke up and a gorgeous model had his dick in her mouth , same outcome? The times then were very wild , and before Pros had wives and Kids there were groupies , and there were incidents way worse than sarges, yeah sarge got messed up has major issues but the good he did far outweighs the bad . Lets leave it at that, fred’s article actually destroyed sarge and his connection to surfing , so Fred feels like he did the community a service , and that’s part of a right wingers MO!
Comparing waking up to find a random gorgeous model or mentor like father figure on the end of your dick???!!! Best we just keep all the stories that make surfing what it is, in the closet and sweep any ugliness under the rug aye Maurice?
yeah good point , how about a mentor gorgeous model on the end of your dick , as there was always a homophobic element to surfing’s macho culture , but the good news is surfing has evolved . Ugliness under the rug , hmm, or just cherry pick who to tell stories on , especially those who have bucked of fucked the System?
Model or mentor… its doesn’t really matter, I could potentially be outraged at either. Cherry pick the stories?? Some like Sarge’s seem to gravitate to the top over time from incidents repeating themselves.
yes its a different world now , and we would all be outraged , I would hate to see what social media would do now.
By todays standards , a lot of Pro surfers ,including ex World Champs, would be in todays world be doing very long jail terms for rape , pack rape and also some of the Industries foremost execs would be done for insider trading , fraud and theft……
so should we also drag all of this out now,if so to what purpose?
My favourite quote from George Santayana… “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” Thats why Maurice. That’s why I like reading about the past, its a view to the future. We are just talking walking pieces of meat, who somehow think the here and now is the only period to focus on.
ah now we are getting philosophical yewww . We as humans continually repeat out mistakes , we do not learn from history , no human civilization has ever survived in the last 10000 years , I love Einsteins ,” repeating the same mistake over and over again , expecting a different result , is the definition of stupidity/insanity.
Maybe one day I will do a book , and give my side of surfings history based on actual personal experiences , but why would I do it for the, money/fame or just to create a shit storm and destroy families?
You should write down your version of history if only for the reason that they’re just good stories. Name and shame not necessary. Unless you hate the prick!
I’ll edit them for him without the double spaced commas and I’ll add a pinch of punctuation and flair.
I already started with NC , had to get legal advice as their is no statute of limitations in OZ. the naming and shaming , now that’s people who read stories and pass judgment , and feel a need to shame the person , which is what FP/ ASP and others did. Hate is such a heavy emotion and ends up consuming your real self . I have hated and it got me stressed/cancer , nothing positive , soon as I released all that shit , life became so much more peaceful and enjoyable ….there is life after 60 hehe
There are actually limitation periods in Australia mate. If you need any legal advice don’t be afraid to consult the Prince of Ubatuba.
so the world is rid of a bunch of complete cunts? also please do not “do” a book
Nah I’m still here , and am I the only one to have humped a Penthouse mag?
I’m not sure what to think about it…. and I’m looking at it from a point of view that embraces homosexuality….. I think the important question that no one has fleshed out is whether or not Adam was hard at the time? Haha na just kidding. It’s a tricky one. I’m sure Sarge regrets gobbling his knob. He obviously had an internal battle going on and made a terrible decision. It’s sad he was ostracised for it but I reckon Adam would be feeling pretty fucked up by it.
yeah I wonder how Adam is dealing it with it , and if making it public helped him with closure.
FFS getting fucked up mentally , there is so much other heavy shit in the world , hopefully he has recovered , because sarge hasn’t !
Here is a comparison only you and a few other Victorians will understand. You remember when Jennifer Keyte (the skeleton from channel 7 news) had to go to hospital with a bottle shoved up her arse right? She still has a totally successful career to this day and no one acknowledges that blemish despite her rupturing her anus. I feel like what she did is more publicly embarrassing than what happened to Adam and Sarge combined.
ah yes , the ol’ “please can you remove this from my body cavity ” syndrome…….I think a famous actress had to get a gerbel removed ……hahha…..but I think there is the embarrassment , but often judgmental pricks try and bury you!
Hahaha it was a lot harder to get out when it stopped wriggling I guess.
The problem with celebs doing this sort of shit is that everyone else then wants to have a go. The really messy part is when the small mammal of your choice DOESN’T stop moving.
ah but then you create a shortfall in supply and the gerbel farmers make a killing , apparently the biggest problem is they take a dump inside !
shit are you hitting on me , flattery will get you everywhere with me , and there’s an idea ,punching someone out in in a resto , and Fred Pawle , nah he’s just a right wing bogan , Viva Donald (not Duck) Trumpette!
I’m just trying to mould Nick into a respectable “celebrity” who doesn’t beat up his “fans”. After reading that Sarge article I started wondering whether back in the day you were Nick’s model or mentor? Or both? Racy times.
It’s sad to say , but in the good ol days , there was an inner sanctum , and no journalists/photographers were allowed close , there were serious consequences to anyone who broke the sacred code , ” of what happened on tour stayed in the I S ……opps there’s a new IS now hehe
Yeah, skinheads are lame. They’re a lot different in London than here in USA. Guessing Aussie ones are too.
Romper Stomper and Hando – that was good movie!!!
Was it you at the Civic who cracked my skull from behind during X’s set at the Urggh show and nearly knocked me out? I was a surfer, not a hippy, you fuck!
Surfer, hippy… close enough! I remember Urrgh. Didn’t get into any fights there, though. It wasn’t me, d00d!
my grandpa used to make powerhead spear tips with explosives, for killing sharks while spear fishing. we could team up with you in the boat with your shotgun
Maybe BG should put a tag on Fred and warn surf enthusiasts when he gets too close to the keyboard after a bottle of cheap plonk
Fred whens the next piece about wilko comically flailing his arms again? give us a rio preview. fuck we are 7 days away nobody gives a shit. we all know its a pooman flying shit show so give us a raw ripping of rio. c’mon Fred tell us how you feel.