Laird Hamilton reveals his 10-point plan for
eternal life here!
Students of history will fondly recall Richard
“Dick” Nixon, if not for his near satanic obsession with power then
for his near satanic obsession with power. Such comedy! Who could
ever forget his “last” news conference? After losing California’s
gubernatorial race, 7 years before being elected President, he
let the sour grapes loose, sat down before the press corp and
attacked them for fifteen minutes before ending, famously, with the
line, “You don’t have Nixon to kick around any more, because,
gentlemen, this is my last press conference.”
It literally does not get funnier. And the day he died, in 1994,
was sad because it became less funny to make fun of him though
Hunter S. Thompson tried, writing:
Richard Nixon is
gone now, and I am poorer for it. He was the real thing — a
political monster straight out of Grendel and a very dangerous
enemy. He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the
same time. He lied to his friends and betrayed the trust of his
family. Not even Gerald Ford, the unhappy ex-president who pardoned
Nixon and kept him out of prison, was immune to the evil fallout.
Ford, who believes strongly in Heaven and Hell, has told more than
one of his celebrity golf partners that “I know I will go to hell,
because I pardoned Richard Nixon.
Alright but not his best work. The foil needs to be
alive for it to really pop. In any case, I was very much dreading
the day Laird Hamilton dies because I feel he is the greatest
punching bag the surf world has ever known. From Strapped to the
hydrofoil to GolfBort the hilarious train just don’t stop!
So you could imagine my glorious astonishment when I read today
that he is not, in fact, going to die. He is going to live
forever!
And through reading today’s The Los Angeles Times’
story
Surfing Icon Laird Hamilton Shares his 10-Point Plan to
Live Forever maybe you and I can make fun forever too!
Let’s tuck in:
Perpetual youth is a whimsical notion suited to screen
writers and 16th century Spanish explorers but a career requirement
for Laird Hamilton. In the ocean as many as five
hours most days, the inventor of tow-in big-wave surfing,
modern-day stand-up paddleboarding and hydrofoil surfing uses a
unique diet and training regimen to maintain a chiseled fitness
that astonishingly belies his 51 years.
Here, the father of three explains why he hasn’t had a drop
of alcohol in a decade, heartily devours fat, hangs upside-down
with regularity, pals around with an 83-year-old for inspiration —
and keeps searching for the Next Big Thing.
1. Forget age. Just keep driving the
car: I take better care of myself today not as an
accommodation to age but to maintain continual high levels of
performance and just to feel good. I have a friend, Don Wildman, who’s 83 years old — and the guy’s
an absolute stud who works out with weights, mountain bikes,
paddles, surfs every day. Don’s a living example of what it’s like
when you just keep driving the car.
2. Take care of everyday
priorities: The stuff you do every day — your sheets
and towels, the food you put in your body — these are your
priorities. Not a fancy car or fancy clothes or fancy watches. For
instance, I used to drink red wine every day — nothing like a good
Bordeaux — but haven’t had a sip of wine or beer in nine years and
have no desire to. I realized that sugar is not good for your body
and that alcohol is one of the biggest culprits.
The fact is that alcohol doesn’t taste good anyway. The
reason people drink is to have some sort of sensation, right? So if
you’re not into that sensation, it’s a waste of time. It’s a
discipline thing too. My mom once said to me, ‘If you can’t be true
to yourself, you can’t be true to anyone else.’ As proof to myself
that I had the willpower, I don’t do it. Bottom line: If you want
your rocket to fly, you put rocket fuel in it. I want to be able to
do certain things at a certain level. I like the way I feel. On a
daily basis, I feel better not drinking.
Uh oh…. I’m out. You can hit
3-10 here though and carry the baton for the
both of us. To infinity and beyond!