Angsty AF.
I am going to San Francisco this evening for a little slice of business. Have you been? Many of my favorite people in surf are either from there, have spent lots of time there or love it there. Matt Warshaw, honored historian, occasional zealot, spent years bundled in black, I think. Ashton Goggans who is at Surfer did too. Taylor Paul, the ex editor-in-chief of Surfing magazine grew up just down the road in Aptos. Louis Samuels, whom I have never met, still plies his trade somewhere in Fog City. Etc.
The town features wonderful food, grand architecture, an interesting history, activities for both the young and young at heart and also features the worst climate on earth. Mark Twain is attributed with famously saying, “The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco…” and I’ll be damned if that doesn’t just sum it up nicely.
Fog descends from the sky, beginning sometime in May. A freezing, thick and miserable fog. It blankets the bay morning, noon and night refusing to release its grip for weeks, even months, at a time. The locals, shrouded in thick wool, turn into strange moles scurrying about their business. Children weep for the sun. Mothers hush them, saying, “The sun is for weaklings. You’ll grow up tough, dear. Tough like Courtney Love (who was born in the middle of one of SF’s “summers” in 1964).”
And the surf? Relentless! Ocean Beach is one massive test of the human will. Waves march like Napoleon’s army pouring their fury upon the Russians at Austerlitz. The surfer, shrouded in thick rubber, must put his head down and ram it against futility. If he is lucky he’ll wind up outside where the peaks shift and the sharks wait and crusty old men with beards shake angry fists at the sky, daring “God” to show his face.
I don’t surf to test my will and want absolutely nothing to do with OB but am very impressed by the masochists that crave its slap. And equally confused by them. If surfing is a Nietzschean struggle then what joy is there in life? What pleasure?
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Yep total kook! Way to put me in my place. Do go on about localism and all about how you’re better than everyone else.
OBSF is my home break, hit me up tmrw if you want to surf(was gonna go out at it’s worse around noon. Also, have you seen the OB poem Surfing Mag put out? http://www.surfingmagazine….
So the “Summer of Love” was a drug induced fantasy?
Of all the cities in the world I’ve visited, San Francisco may be my least favorite.
Or at least, my least favorite not in Texas.
“trying harder than any other west coast metropolis” should be the official motto. everyone has an ethos up there.
Ew ethos
Surely it’s Thomas Hobbes you mean.
Lewis
I don’t want OB to get any more crowded so I won’t tell you how fun it can be even when it’s not giant. Those photos of it when it’s groomed and perfect are just a tease though. It’s really not like that very often. And when it is, amazing currents usually sweep you down the beach. Then there’s the shark vibe.
I often wonder where you guys get the pics to go with the stories. Do you get the pic first, then write the story? Or write the story first and then get a hilarious pic? Either way, whoever does that is really on point with their job.
For the consummate tourist experience, I highly recommend leaving valuables in plain sight on your car seats.
Some minor liberties but that is an almost perfect description of SF and surfing in SF. What a hard fought existence!
Chas I wish this was less about your trip and more about struggle to find meaning and joy in life. To answer your question: surfing is a meaningless ego trip that will hasten the destruction of the earth. But on the plus side you look cool while doing it! Also kudos on the art. Why no credit line?
Credit found! Also, I didn’t know what I was writing about when I started this morning…it kind of became what it is accidentally…
thats a devastating misreading of Nietzsche Chas: who was for the eternal recurrence, to saying Yes to life, etc etc he was the most cheerful cunt who God has ever graced this Earth with. He would’ve not surfed in San Francisco.
God made a city where surfing is hell. Would not the ubermensche have paddled out just to spite Him?
Image belongs to a dear friend of the wife and me, Daniele Bolleli. You can buy a shirt here:
http://www.danielebolelli.c…
Good stuff. They should buy a banner ad from you guys.
You should buy a shirt!
So famous for it, the sourdough bread is only ok… going for business? Yeah, right, Chas. We all know you’re really going just to try to find the Full House house.
Do you know where it is? I mean…not that I care or anything but do you?
A cursory search on the world wide web yields a Broderick St address and information that the show was filmed mostly in Burbank. The whole world is a lie! I’m now beginning to have doubts as to the effectiveness of jelqing…
that house just went on the market. it’s listed for four million.
Everywhere you look, everywhere you go,
There’s a heart (there’s a heart), a hand to hold onto…
While Beachgrit authors parade their thesaurus skills often, that last word was baffling. Within the context of your comment I was motivated to look up the word. How does one’s retinas and optic nerves ever learn such language structure wherein it becomes useful for Beachgrit comments.
You aimed for BEACHGIRTH and ended up BEACHGRIT
Could you not meet Mr. Samuels there? Is he not the funniest most interesting person to write about surf? Why can’t you spend a weekend with him? Do you like each other? Is he ok?
I have a story! Once, maybe two or three years ago, I was there and Louis reached out and invited me to his workplace for a lunch drink. It was a Friday and we set the plan but in my mind the plan was set for the next day. So I showed up in front of the offices where he works on Saturday. It was very quiet but I waited and then texted. He responded, curtly, that it was Saturday and no one works Saturday. I realized my error and told him, truthfully, that I don’t have a real job and so never have any real idea what day it is. He did not reply. I wonder to this day if he took my words as a slight. That I write for a living (this was pre BeachGrit…I had just published a book and my star was bright)/married well and that he has to smash keys at an internet behemoth.
Hopefully we can summon him out of Google to abuse all and make more jokes.
I’m actually secret Jew, in real life, polish jewish family escapes Europe during WW2 whatever, we had to change our names, but is it just me or ( as lewis pointed out) do the jews run surfing?
I dare not reply on behalf of another. I personally think not.
I dunno he did one on post surf years ago that was so on point it was scary.
I love reading his work and I love seeing the reaction to it by others. I think it was him who was commenting under an alias on certain surf websites and it made great impact. Ruffled feathers would be gross understatement.
He is the silk road of surf journalism….
Seeing how much land Fast Eddy owns around sunset you may have an argument. Whats McKnight’s affiliation?
Irish Jew?
” it’s Saturday” ( looks up from bong confused)
is this “Louis” spelling an inside joke or something?
Shit! I was puzzling over his name this morning. I know he ain’t Mexican so therefore ruled out Luis and went with Louis. Another mistake! Another potential slight to harm the possibility of friendship!
Louis would automatically be pronounced LOO-EE right? I like that better than Lewis anyway.
I always say Loo-ee.
not correct?
you’re generally going to get some “sssss” at the end of Luis, but not Louis, which you’re pronouncing properly
The mystery around him thickens. I smell conspiracy. I see men in dark suits watching silently beneath the surface. A change has taken place. It’s not safe here anymore.
San Francisco is also Satanism’s ground zero. Connection? You decide.
Why would you insult Satanism like that?