Slang AF
I’ve been on a negative kicker today but I’m going to play through if you don’t mind. Tomorrow the sun will come out! Today I fucking hate when surf publications play to some sense of cool by using youth phrases 4 months after their pull-by date!
Stab is definitely the grossest transgressor these days. You’d think it would be The Inertia but their staff is even too kooky to be 4 months behind. Surfer‘s editorial staff is so confused as to why they have an editor no one has ever heard of/is gingy to write anything meaningful. Surfing only likes looking at pictures. Does Surfline have any stories? Australian magazines. The Inertia is such shit.
I drove past their offices by accident the other day, by the way, multiple blocks away from the already spent Abbott Kinney in Venice, CA and it made me laugh lots. They have offices multiple blocks away from the already spent Abbott Kinney in Venice, CA! With a big sign and stuff!
But back to Stab. Yesterday they posted a story about Carlos Burle carrying the torch for the Olympics. The caption read “It’s still lit AF.”
AF. AF. AF. AF. That’s rad AF. Cool AF. AF. Just write “as fuck” if you want to use the term! AF! AF as AF! AS FUCK. FUCK! AS! AS FUCK!
Did you ever read Hipster Runoff in its prime? That man did du jour slang so well that he broke the mold. Stab should only use the Queen’s English. Nothing more.
I feel bad, now, for swimming in Rory Parker’s pool. He does cantankerous so much better than me.
As Fuck you, Stab.
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HA “hit Mexico and party with Linkin Park”
BEACHGRIT RENAISSANCE INTENSIFIES!
lol 420
chaz is savage fam
I want to like beachgrit but you guys are always a day or two behind STAB with news.
This is the peoples magazine. I’d like to say the writers here let thoughts marinate before smearing them like shit on WordPress but perhaps that is a bit presumptuous. STAB are owned by SurfStitch. SurfStitch made me pay twice because my dumb arse girlfriend bought the wrong size Birkenstock’s and sent the wrong box back. I HATE THEM! Join the fight. We need a Nazi.
I have a hobby, I go on surfstitch, find the most overpriced garbage at full price, take it all the way to the checkout, then just before not buying, entering the name: FUCK YOU, address: SUCK IT CUNTS. I dream that the owners are just sitting there watching the transaction take place in live view. I know, awesome huh
Haha that’s awesome. You gotta up your game slightly though. It should be….. Hi Jessica @ Gold Coast distribution. The bikini I just checked out is fucking GAY AS AIDS. Your boyfriend is cheating on you with a 12 year old boy cos you’re a fat whore that works in a warehouse and eats too many pies. Cheers bitch. Cunt.
Christ! Breathe, eat, surf, party, repeat? An interview with anorexic Frankenstein about regenerating brain cells? Use this one STAB: Shit’s Fucked!
I feel like I’ve found the gold at the end of a rainbow. A professional publication that hates another magazine as much as I do! By golly! I’m delighted. Have you had any luck finding out if Morgan Williamson is a real person, Chozzlos? He is my Richard Nixon. I want to beat his head against the Formica.
He is! I’ve heard that he surfed, once, in LA somewhere! Also, I don’t know why it ain’t open and total warfare between surf pubs. What do any of us have to lose? I think it’d be a complete hoot for all involved and would so gladly take all comers.
I heard he lives near Manhattan Beach and goes on sexy romps with Joel Tudor to Majorca. He surfs waves of humiliation. Anyway, keep BeachGrit honest and brutal. The other publications are homogenized crap. If you’re lucky BeachGrit could be like Thrasher and people actually feel loyalty and pride about it. Or at least they did for Thrasher.
And then all the models and shit can wear ‘grit tees when they off duty like trying to look like they don’t give a fuck and stuff, all like yeah I used to surf before people realised how beautiful I was.
Then Wiggolly’s Paddling Style and Seaman Staines will get pussy right?
To say I’ve been waiting for the day is an understatement and to think I believed marriage would have changed that.
hahahahahaha would have given you more than 1 upvote for that if I could
Quiet or you’ll wake Joel and the IG hate will never end!
There’s not enough at stake.
If you go to war you’ve got to believe there’ll be some prize at the end of it all. Once it was lots of Gotcha’s money and a lot of cocaine at an ASP presso night. What is it now? Dane’s phone number?
Oi Nick, my cranky friend. Check out this doco. https://vimeo.com/137622762
There are still nice people involved in surfing and most of them don’t have poo stances.
you’ve told this story before, dad.
But that’s the whole point. There’s nothing at stake! Not even Dane’s phone number so why not have a little fun? Like a water balloon fight!
Whoa whoa whoa, can we get back to the pile of cocaine?
I heard him and Hayden cox were at the gay bar yesterday.
can’t wait until they give up writing altogether and just post dank AF memes.
Dank AF memes has had me chortling for way way too long…
WTF Chozza itll be rad af wen Balmain entrs surf mrkt an we staaart gettin surflix an chill… oh an cryn sl8r mems r b tiht af littercie is old wruld af
Now we’re talkin!
Surely being purveyors of shit is worse than creating it. And worse than that commenting on the purveyors! What monster have I become?
I feel righteous and almighty as a commenter because I don’t have to own up to anything I say. It’s a beautiful world.
Nah, I’ll catch ya on wimp womp my skilly,whatatata the hibbie jome bay! (Pootie tang.)