Panic: Deadly sea snake in California!

A new terror rears its (small) head!

Sharks are busily chomping all-comers in Australia. Chomping people and fish and birds and dogs. Maybe chomping so many that Australia’s yellow bellied sea snake decided to swim to Huntington Beach.

“Yellow bellied sea snake?” You ask while popping new FCS II fins in your board. “What the hell is that?”

“Oh.” I respond while taking a sip of coffee lightly touched with cream. “Only the most poisonous snake in the whole wide world.”

Your eyes go wide as you say, “Tell me more.” I can see that you are trying to take your FCS II fins out but they….are….not….budging.

“Watch this video of Kolohe bench banging his fins…” I offer before adding “…and read this before getting too scared.”

A poisonous yellow-bellied sea snake has made appearanced again on California beaches. The environmental group Surfrider Foundation made the startling discovery 30 miles south of Los Angeles at Bolsa Chica State Beach during a beach cleanup. They belive snakes appearing due California shores due to warm waters that are attributed to El Nino.

The snakes are highly poisonous , but their small mouths and fangs make it difficult for them to bite humans Initial sightings of the toxic snake happened back in October on Silverstrand Beach in Oxnard. Yellow-bellied snakes are the most wide-ranging in the world. Most reported bites are by fishermen, said Pauly. There’s never been a recorded human fatality.

“These snakes spend their entire lives eating small fish, and it’s not like a rattle snake that can open its mouth really wide… So it’s very difficult for them to bite things that are very large,” he said.

The aquatic snakes tend to live in open ocean waters.

“They have an extremely modified body form. So basically it turns their entire body into one long sort of fin,” said Pauly. “They’re really good at swimming in open water but this particular species can barely move when it’s on land.”

Your fins are bench banged out now and you are frustrated that I scared you like that so you begin putting them back in and that is almost as frustrating as taking them out and so you are glaring at me.

I take another sip of my coffee and say, “There’s never been a recorded human fatality. There’s also a first time for everything.”

P.S. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I tried watching that Kolohe bench banging video again myself and FCS made it private! I’m literally dying and not from a poisonous snake bite but from laughter!