What about him makes us xenophobic?
I generally think it very funny when rage rains down upon the heads of Brazilian surfers for their exaggerated claims, their artful post wave celebrations. The watery samba has never really bothered me much. If anything, I think they should push it further. They should take note of Victor Cruz’s hips or Cher’s arms and really perform.
But last night, watching the NBA finals game 5, I finally felt the rage for myself. Anderson Varajão plays for the world champion Golden State Warriors. Last year he played for their opponents the Cleveland Cavaliers. He is tall, 6’10” with a sweet jump shot but is most famous for his flops. His wild, artificial body quakes that are aimed at getting foul calls from the referees.
Oh how they annoy! His face draws into a mask of bewildered pain. Mouth grimacing, eyes little slits of pain. He rolls on the ground. He holds his head. He goes into full spasms all for the smallest brush.
And the rage bubbles in my heart!
“That fucking Brazilian! That fucking fake Brazilian! He never even got touched!”
Now, what about his Brazilian-ness makes it so bad? Why does it have anything to do with my rage? When white basketballers and black basketballers flop I find it cheap and tawdry but don’t hold it against their nationality. But when this tall Brazilian flops I want to drop giant bombs on São Paulo. The announcers, usually restrained, even tee off on him!
The same in surf. Matty Wilko’s claims are very much worse, I think, than Gabe Medina’s but it is Gabe who draws the ire.
What about the theatrical Brazilian makes us xenophobic? Could unlocking this mystery bring about world peace?
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I believe Slater also shaves his pits.
and Americans and Aussies don’t? Good one.
That is called racism.
Lighten up, Timmy. Surfing isn’t serious. My comments don’t affect one bit what gets discussed in this ‘online community’.
most people who hate brazzos claiming have no problem with Mick / Parko / Kelly / Julian claiming (as they always have) because in their view they probably earned it, as opposed to the brazzos who are only doing it to get the score and are -insert insult here-. claiming is fucked, but people who only get angry at brazzos doing it are arguably more fucked.
but how about Wiggoly’s tactics against Connor today? that was some Brazilian shit for sure.
it’s pretty horse, but thems the rules. everyone laughed when Kelly dropped in on Parko in the final at Kirra a few years back (apart from the aussie pride guys that is). he should know better
tactics in a competition? Oh the horror.
yeah, who wants to see good surfing when we can watch people dive and cry like in soccer?
And I thought chicks were the BITCHES. You get guaranteed bitch slaps from the esteemed writers at BitchGrit.
give em a break guys. dudes come a long way since playing walter jr on breaking bad
Wait! Who’s Walter Jr? That actor was so handsome!
put on a an interview with gabs from a year or so ago, close your eyes, and be taken back to albuquerque. vai Finn Medina!
Gabby killing it in Fiji right now; his Round 3 claim didn’t bother me.
Ya, but did you know your skin is 30-40% thicker than a woman’s? To look it’s best, your skin requires care that’s specially formulated for its unique needs.
if michelle obama and ivan drago made a baby, it would be gabby medina
JJF/Owen wright – no claim claim. Medina/ads – Mickey Mouse claim
Varejao, a Brazilian flopped on Delladova, an Australian. To me that’s a wash.
John John, is that you???
The photo was the best part of this article. Also reminded me of Blades of Glory, there’s a Medina parody for ya
Probably should have reminded you of Zoolander because this is a screen shot from the movie Zoolander..
Yes, aware it was from Zoolander. Thanks. Google Blades of Glory. Or not. Idc
Google?
I do agree that claiming got out of control, but let’s back up for a minute and also let’s take a moment from this same player in the same game and let’s associate these unrelated acts.
In the beginning, I remember well that the brazzos would claim 7 or 8 points rides essentially beacause they needed those 7 ou 8 points and though they got it on that particular wave (for instance, I don’t remember anyone claiming 5 points rides when 7 points were needed). As a brazilian myself I knew that those were not intended to influence the judges, but rather as a “scream” (think of “I got it!”).
Now, lets go back to the game and to they player in question and watch another moment where he saves a ball that was almost lost and starts to scream to the fans and the players. Well, certainly it didn’t help their case trying to stop Irving, but it did show how the brazilians tend to react on a competitive situation. That’s the passion some people talk about.
I remember claiming from Padaratz days, it was always a brazzo thing and it never influenced anyone. However, a few years back, when the brazzos started to win more, all the suddenly a lot of people though “It must be the claims” (and it wasn’t as we are aware now) and everybody started to claim 4 or 5 points rides.
So yeah, even though the brazzos invented those horrifying things, it was the “international community” that took it to the next level, with compliments of Jordy, Ace and others.
Go live with that, Chas.
Oh Cube I agree with everything you say. And I like Varajao’s hustle….it’s just when he goes to the floor all limp and fake that part of me blames his nationality. Totally unfair! Totally rude! And time for me to maybe look it square in the eye, acknowledge my error in thinking and change my ways!
He played soccer as a kid before basketball. Could be a theatrical vestigial tail.
you are correct Herr Chas , I reckon the claiming comes from that horriblus Mongrelus sport called Soccer. Brazil is Soccer and this sport caters for a level of , acting and corruption that seems to be part of Soccer countries DNA ……ever seen a bigger claim when any goal is scored ?
Always enjoy Varejao’s antics. Maybe because in my mind he’s a dead ringer for Tony Montana’s sister in Scarface.
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Rage and the Theatrical Brazilian would make a great band name
Or academic book… “Rage and the Theatrical Brazilian: Samba, Spectacle, and Homosocial Sporting Violence in Contemporary São Paulo.”
I would be a guest on every NPR station across the country for the entire month of July!
To boot, you’d sell 1/10 of what «Welcome to Hell» did, get nasty reviews from people you’ve known for your entire professional life, make hundreds in royalties, and make a salary that rendered you welfare-eligible with dependents. Then you’d spend all your time commenting on Beach Grit in protest of your working conditions.
I can’t take that much soft talking!
Chas ‘Click Bait’ Smith would be a good nickname.
incy wincy was a spider’s name. I think his nickname was smalls
That awkward moment when you’re reading this comment to find an awkward moment but there isn’t any, and still you’re reading this comment and you’re starting to realise it says nothing important and you just wasted a couple of seconds of your life but you’re still reading and you don’t even know why. That’s awkward… You should give me a Like for wasting your time.
Anderson Varajão is no Karl Malone.
I disagree with the premise, theatrical Brazilians makes us xenophobic. I think theatrical bullshit makes us question the skill sets of those doing the showboating. In the WSL context, the brazilians are more theatrical as a whole and individually then their non-brazzo counterparts thus they are grouped together. Much like the skulldragging, headshaving neanderthal aussies, being grouped by similar behaviors.
Not true and you know it.
Aside from Kelly and JJF, everyone is claiming 5 points rides nowadays.
Claims aimed at the judges are the worst.
Judges influenced by claims are the worst.
Judges under the influence claims are spot on
If they would only claim being under the influence, they could silence all critics!