Kelly Slater skateboarding
Kelly Slater's dazzling backside smith.

Who knew: Kelly Slater Can Skate!

Sweet lil backside smith, clean back 50-50… 

Derek wanted me to write something today about the wall Zuckerberg is building around his massive property up North of me. But I just don’t really care.

That particular area is mostly owned by bitch and moan millionaires. All unhappy because someone is doing to them exactly what they’ve already done to everyone else. Head down to that stretch and try to find beach access. Ain’t easy. All the rich bitches love to fence ’em off, close ’em down. I recently had someone say to me, with a straight face, as though it’s a problem, “the billionaires are chasing out the millionaires.”

Boo fucking hoo.

Ya’ know what I’m much more interested in? This video of Kelly Slater and Tom Carroll skating a mini-ramp back in the first half of the 90’s.

Kelly can skate? I never knew. I remember he had a signature model skateboard many years ago, but it was just a some longboard cruiser kook number.

Kelly throws down a a clean little back 50/50, and is that a slashing back smith?

The best part, by far, is watching the man who brought us “The Snap” absolutely flail. TC pushes mongo! Can’t drop in to save his life.

Very funny. Definitely tickled my funny bone. Saved me from putting real thought into today’s little article.

Kelly Slater tries to teach Tom Carroll skateboarding

 

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velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago

Ha! Yeah, until the next time you show up. “Hmm, who knew the BG was so popular with the boys?”

Ghostface Braddah
Ghostface Braddah
10 years ago
Reply to  velobwoy

I’ll see you guys there next winter. BG comments section sent me.

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago

Wow, had no idea. There were a couple of waves in Aliomanu we’d surf when it was like that. Or just Rock Quarry’s with everyone else.

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago

Thought Waipake meant “crackling water”, but what do I know. There’s a wave at Larsen’s? That’s news – never saw anything remotely rideable out there.

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago

Yeah, new highway was built mid-sixties. I lived there for a few years – always thought it was the perfect zone. Got a bit more moldy when I moved to Wailapa. Can’t blame zberg for scooping that spot – it was ripe for the picking. Pflueger had the right idea. Too bad that the uber-rich aren’t commies – I certainly had my fantasies over the years, but Taylor Camp was a one-off.

Otto
Otto
10 years ago

Keep us updated.

Tom House
Tom House
10 years ago

skating: still can’t drum up even a shred of interest. would rather watch them try to play cricket.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  Tom House

A sign of a truly troubled childhood, indeed.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Or not troubled enough.

Tom House
Tom House
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

i might be able to appreciate it more if not for the goddamn noise. the clacking, the grinding, the scraping, the banging. good lord man, who needs it? few things harsh a mellow as quickly as enjoying a lovely sidewalk stroll when the unmistakable click-clack-click-clack-click-clack rushes up behind. it’s enough to consider a clothesline.

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago
Reply to  Tom House

I’d Take that all night over a fuckin jet ski in the lineup

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  Tom House

So I assume you don’t mentally have a tail click or coping sound effect every time you do anything on a surfboard? Do you also dislike strangers parking in front of your house, abstain from the devil’s lettuce, tuck your shirts in, and send pictures of your neighbor’s dog pooing on the beach to the proper authorities?

Tom House
Tom House
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

and you should see my credit score

Martn C.
Martn C.
10 years ago

wow the Facebook nerd does SUP ! curious pattern I’ve always noticed when nerds make money they try surfing or something related, even here in NY the Lumbersexuals like vintage looking funboards with wood venere and patagucci wetsuits (but only during the summer) they also buy LR4 land rovers.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  Martn C.

And read/write on The Inertia.

Martn C.
Martn C.
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Wait, what’s the Inertia? Not another gay club for queer surfers isn’t it?

JOB !

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  Martn C.

It’s like a bible club, but for people with fancy degrees, non-profits, a great sense of self-importance, etc.

Martn C.
Martn C.
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Like Ronnie Blakey with money, gotcha. very

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  Martn C.

I think they can read though.

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago

Don’t blame em – Ko’olau Rd is a veritable freeway.

natoelgato
natoelgato
10 years ago

This is unrelated and not sure if it’s just me, but I can’t recall seeing any photos of Kelly in sunglasses in all his career, until just recently for some recent electric ads. Must be some diet secret he’s holding onto for future patent. I wear/need sunnies all the time, especially on the boat from Tavarua to Cloudbreak (.. never been) but my eyes are still rooted anyway. Beachgrit pls investigate.

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
10 years ago

Sarge probably suggested the boys go shirtless.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
10 years ago

wow, i am better at something than tom carroll and kelly slater!

that and i was shoving chia seeds in my orifices way back before it was cool, you know.

on.a.roll.with.this.winning.life.shit.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
10 years ago

rubbish. I’m better than Tom at pretty much everything.

nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
10 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

hell yeah! tell your bro to suck it!

velobwoy
velobwoy
10 years ago

Sheesh, I just learned that I push mongo, and that that’s a bad thing. No wonder I fuckin suck…

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
10 years ago
Reply to  velobwoy

Had the same realization after reading this. Hey, I can at least drop in vert without eating shit… or, I could about 5 years ago. I’m too much of a pussy now. Damn.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago

Tom Carroll is a bigger kook than Nick Carroll! Fark! I can’t even watch Stevie Williams push mongo let alone a Carol. The Gigolo Prince of Ubatuba tears. Fuck the rest.

Wowen Ilson
Wowen Ilson
10 years ago

Switch mongo is a totally different thing, you just have to be gangster enough to pull it off. Classic Stewie Williams is perfection, 3 ft switch heel etc.. https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago
Reply to  Wowen Ilson

He’s amazing but that push be ugly.

Wowen Ilson
Wowen Ilson
10 years ago

“Even imperfection itself may have its ideal or perfect state.”

woof
woof
10 years ago

if you could do a fucken meter high switch heel you can push anyway you like into it

Ghostface Braddah
Ghostface Braddah
10 years ago
Reply to  woof

and catch it at half a meter

Kook Dahanamoku
Kook Dahanamoku
10 years ago

I push mongo. There, I said it. It feels better.
Mongo pushing is the curse of the right-handed goofy-footer. You naturally push with your strongest leg, and by the time you realise you’re doing it wrong it’s too late – you have a habit for life.

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago

its breakable. the interesting part is that it isn’t the push leg than feels bizarre, its the foot you keep on the board suddenly having to support your full weight. i was a wobbly motherfucker for months till the other hip strengthened up.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Mongo gimps end up with a good switch push if they give up their gross mongoloid ways.

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago

now i just need a switch game to go with it

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
10 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

You wouldn’t be the first person to jump on a skateboard at a party and claim your fakie flip is a nollie flip. Just tell everyone youre goofy or vice versa and only do one trick. Fuck I have the sickest switch heels. Na I’m too cool to do normal ones. Cunt.

Ghostface Braddah
Ghostface Braddah
10 years ago

Ha!

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

It was brave of you to be honest, but NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN.

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
10 years ago

Samoan’s have to be pretty happy to build that “Palagi” a rock wall $$.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

Only the unwitting park a vehicle adjacent to a ramp.

Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
10 years ago

Genuinely surprised that neither for them skated better, I would have thought they both would have been unreal skaters!

Otto
Otto
10 years ago

When Zuckerberg finishes his wall, I think you should gather 30-40 healthy, loud as fuck roosters and toss them over the wall into their new sanctuary of 700 acres. Seeing how the Zuckster said the wall is for minimizing noise from the roadways, what better way to enhance his dream than to drown out that vehicle noise all together with rooster crowing.

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago

gotta commit to that front foot, TC


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