Bird enthusiasts destroy mini-barrel dreams!
Wave pools, alongside Instagram cattiness, shark attacks and unsubstantiated rumor, have become the fourth pillar of BeachGrit‘s mighty empire. Who isn’t awed by what man can do if/when he puts his mind to something?
Kelly Slater’s design is, of course, leading the charge. But do you remember Surf Snowdonia in Wales? I think it might be working still. And others. Maybe.
Municipalities from San Diego to Melbourne to Austin are lining up to get their very own wave pool. What monument could possibly be complete without an accompanying mini-barrel or mushburger?
But Chicago, Illinois is bucking the trend! The Sun-Times has reported that a group of bird enthusiasts smashed the hopes/dreams of inland surfers hoping to crouch low in brown water. Lets read:
Chicago’s bird enthusiasts helped scuttle a proposal to build a wave pool designed to simulate a surfing experience on a plot of land a few hundred yards north of a lakefront bird sanctuary near Montrose Beach.
For K.C. Hoos, a 37-year-old North Sider, the rejection could draw to a close his seven-year quest to find a friendly home for the project and his dream of introducing surfing to Chicago’s masses.
It was the third time he’d been turned down from leasing a North Side spot abutting a beach.
“It was the perfect location,” Hoos said, venting frustration with what he viewed as preferential treatment for bird enthusiasts.
Hoos wanted to renovate a historic but dilapidated stone concession stand and bathroom facility that, along with a newly constructed pool and tiered patio, would have become the hub of his operation.
Long-time bird enthusiast Leslie Borns, who led the effort to fight Hoos’ latest push, was apparently informed by the park district several weeks ago that Hoos’ proposal had been rejected.
After hearing the news, she emailed supporters: “Before you start doing your happy dance, let’s reflect on the important lesson learned here – CONSTANT VIGILANCE AT ALL TIMES. We know there will be more Hooses, more Capplemans, and more blatant assaults on the free, open, public lands we have the extraordinary luck and privilege to enjoy in a huge urban area. So keep your eyes and ears open, and despite what anyone says, NEVER give up the fight.”
Who knew bird enthusiasts were so angry? So extreme? So fundamentalist? Will they be the final straw on the surf industry’s very weak back?
Mr Hoos would of spoken to Kelly like a timid father, “…its about time we had a talk about the birds and the bees.”
My god, surfing has just become a poster child for post modern irony hasn’t it.
Surely this design could not have been The King’s pool, the bird lovers can’t know that one dreamy day the pools will be powered by acres of shiny solar panels, and be home to the most environmentally friendly product known to man – the mystical Thailand banana surfboard!
We should like, take all the old people and arrange cruises that just self pilot to the north poll, no more hot wheels from nana,cuz she was a surf and skating hating cunt. I’ve got a member for the cruise….
Could BeachGrit be title sponsor of the cruise? Sail into the Sunset! brought to you by BeachGrit and Depends!
Don’t be stepping on my cause. Old birds are in fact birds that paid their social security. I propose a loop cruise so the checks keep coming.
There would be a lot of clymidia and bengay fumes somewhere at all times, whole boat just sounding like two pieces of bread slathered in mayonnaise.
I’m smelling that hospital smell, thanks sewis
Haha; gross.
A lifetime supply of depends for the cruise. ” that only looks like 3 days worth” said the geriatric sailor,” exactly” said the captain being helicoptered off the ship once aimed at the iceberg….
And the band played on.