The two countries stand at the brink of war!
Remember last year when the Brazilian Super Mario Brother Adriano de Souza and the Australian Mutant Ninja Turtle Mick Fanning were locked in deadly battle for first place in the surf world? Oh how ADS furiously hopped up and down on his board! Oh how Mick zoomed down the line slightly hunched as if wearing a shell!
It was very exciting and sent both Australians and Brazilians toward message boards, cursing each other’s countries and instincts.
Well, it seems as if the bad blood has continued and reached the Olympic Games.
The Australian contingent tried to move in to their rooms in Rio de Janeiro’s athlete village yesterday but were met with shoddy electrical wiring and plumbing blockages.
“We felt that our building was not safe, because of a combination of plumbing and electrical issues,” the Australian Chef de Mission Kitty Chiller told journalists. “I have never experienced, this is my fifth Olympic games, a village in this state or lack of state of readiness in that point and time.”
Rio’s Mayor, Eduardo Paes thought it was very funny and figured the problem was not with bad construction but that there was no kangaroo. “We want them to feel at home here…” he said “…I almost feel like putting a kangaroo to jump up and down in front of their building.”
Australian committee spokesman Mike Tancred did not think a kangaroo was going to fix things and told a Brazilian newspaper, “We do not need kangaroos, we need plumbers to account for the many puddles found in the apartments.”
Negatron? Is this accurate? Do kangaroos not make very good plumbers? Do they do good drywall or something else?
And speaking of our dear Negs, a New Zealand jiu-jitsu roller was kidnapped yesterday in Rio and driven to two cash machines where he had to withdraw all of his money. He said, “I’m not sure what’s more depressing, the fact this stuff is happening to foreigners so close to the Olympic Games or the fact that Brazilians have to live in a society that enables this … on a daily basis.”
Nothing like a multi-pronged international blood feud right before Game time!