Sharks, elephant seals and mean locals used to scare but now there is something worse!
I am in Big Sur and it is fantastically beautiful but danger bristles around every majestic corner. Wildlife, from the great White Shark to the bulbous elephant seal guard the ocean. A terrible wildfire burns in the north, befouling the air, and crusty locals patrol the most secret of surf spots.
Oh it is such an adventure!
Big Sur, and the rest of California’s northern coast, used to be a regular stop in my life but I haven’t been back in ages. The unbreakable vistas. The cliffs that careen into oblivion. And I have discovered a new, most terrifying new menace.
Chinese drivers.
Oh son of a bitch, have you ever driven here? The roads are perched at the very edge of those cliffs that careen into oblivion, straight into the mighty Pacific hundreds of yards below, the great White Shark and the bulbous elephant seal ready to tear meaty bones from mangled auto wreckage. Giant boulders teeter above the roads begging, pleading, to be loosened so they can mash and smash and bash unsuspecting motorists.
The bends and winds, switchbacks and S-turns are severe. Maybe more so than any other stretch of road on earth. And now each is filled with Chinese white-knuckle gripping the steering wheels of rented Fords and Dodges.
Terror would be in their eyes if their eyes were visible. Their eyes are not visible, though, because they are hidden behind Police, Armani Exchange, Costa and other off-brand sunglasses.
Oh son of a bitch, have you ever driven here? The roads are perched at the very edge of those cliffs that careen into oblivion, straight into the mighty Pacific hundreds of yards below, the great White Shark and the bulbous elephant seal ready to tear meaty bones from mangled auto wreckage.
These are not American born Chinese but Chinese from China. 參觀大蘇爾 (Visit Big Sur!) must be a best-seller at this very moment in the People’s Republic because they are literally everywhere driving like folk who have never even seen a car much less know how to operate one. They creep along at a snail’s pace, weave erratically, sit in the middle of traffic and try to cross an opposing lane. They brake wickedly and without warning. They have no idea what a passing lane is and what a turn out is and what a speed limit is and that it is not, in fact, a “limit” but a meek suggestion for the lowest probable rate of motion.
You can keep your ISISes, your terrorists and your bombs. Big Sur is the scariest place on earth. I dare you to visit.
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I believe the Chinese “coolies” built that stretch of HYW1 back in the day. They also drive on the opposite side of the road back home. I can’t even grasp their writing but they all seem to read english just fine. Cut them some slack. The real enemies are the RV drivers that don’t use turnouts, the people that shit on the side of the road and the ignorant illegal campers starting fires that destroy people’s homes.
you clearly read the article in full then skim the comments. i on the other hand scrutinise the comments to ascertain article content.
BitchGrit – tell me that is not the perfect rebrand name for this site???please — in capitals — BITCHGrit….
Old money Carmel locals have it on lockdown. A special type of petulance. Proceed with extreme indifference.
Funnily enough the worst drivers on the roads here during the summer are Americans wearing baseball caps, driving at a snails pace, wearing beige shorts, grinding through gears, I guess they are used to their automatics back home – good luck finding one here! Never mind being confused as to which side of the road to be on, they assume the shitty little roads are one-way streets when in fact they are main fucking roads! Its’ better for everyone when they all go on a big bus, driven at a snails pace! Nice friendly people, but I have issues with road rage – and Yanks grinding their way through another gearbox!
damn Chas , you need to come down here and experience the Great Ocean Road , and yes the amount of Chinese drivers down here and at Bells is going thru the roof , at least it looks like they are the same at BiG Sur as down here , but Trump has a plan!
it is the whitey drivers there who piss me off. you’d think they all got their license out of a cereal box or from a pauline hanson stall at the circus.
here in Chongqing us locals are horrified by the terrible western drivers, they dont get the rules at all and are always getting in the way. then they go home and write travel blogs on how they survived our day to day lifestyle like an achievement. fuckin 300million people drive here everyday. lucky we all dont write blogs about it. the internet would stop.
Hahaha. Fuck.
Have you ever stopped to think how many Indian families have stepped out of a silver Toyota Camry and taken a photo on that cliff looking over at Point Roadknight?
how many Asian tourists drive down to the bottom car park at Bells , because our council decided to put a sign that should say Exit , but says “Way Out” , which the Asians can’t read , so we end up with all these renta cars trying to do a 5 point turn….and shit the Chinese are a lot more Aggro than the Indians etc……on surf days the beaches here are now full , even in the middle of winter ……
Worse than the ultra-privledged, ultra-entitled Range Rover/Escalade driving White Rich Fucks of Orange Country? Tough to say.
i hate whites
whiteys whinge and whine so much. whinging and whining and superiority complex are in whitey dna.
Complaining about Asian drivers! this may be the post that Beachgrit historians will mark as the first sign of Chas’s slide into middle class old guy grumpiness. Next! The fucken terrier two doors down that barks all night.
I turn 40 in just 8 days! And the terrier piece is half done!
It’s a slippery slope. Slope.
does racism and old age come together for old white men? i think so! the evidence is everywhere!
How else would you explain trump as a presidential candidate?
looking at the news now is the most bloody surreal thing ever. hopefully a low point. but i fear not. crazy fuckers.
is this you in big sur chas?
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
“I’m no Chinese! I’m Koreeeeaaaaaan!!”
I thought that eye comment was going in a much different, much more racist direction
Me too.
Eye also
Causal racism is pretty low on the scale of offensiveness at the Grit. “Whores at the trough” on the other hand…
how about , a moderator claiming , ” all children are whores!”
Casual racism , hmm please explain between formal and casual racism?
Re “all children are whores” I’m here to help, you asked, so I delivered…
Causal vs formal racism? Well, that’s slippery slope. Especially when dealing someone like yourself. (dog with a bone)
I don’t think there is any difference between the two. Racism is racism. But… for me personally? say, I’m toiling in the garden digging my potatoes. Mrs Negs {who is part Maori} walks past. I say in my best redneck voice “You should be doing this, you Maori’s are made for manual labouring”
Now admittedly it’s a retarded thing to say, and something that isn’t a constant vein of dialogue in our lives. It implies the negative stereotypes of yesteryear and something I wouldn’t say in front of my children. But 20 years together gives us abit of leeway to say the most inappropriate things, privately to each other for our mutual comedic pleasure.
Timing and context.
So I guess the Moderator here is now a degenerative, child abuser and racist now MC?
Yeah fuck off Maurice. Was it racist when I fucked a Chinese girl and told her I love her chocolate nips? No. She loved it.
Lest we not forget that Charles is of a different mold … off-brand sunnies are among the most unforgivable of transgressions. A true low blow, even by his standards.