And a lesson in Denmark's once-bristling drug trade…
My baby brother has arrived in Kauai! I’m so happy to see him. He’s my second favorite person in the world. My favorite person in the world is not so thrilled.
Rory’s reaction when he learned we’d have a long-term house guest was to throw the bottle of rubbing alcohol he was holding on the ground and scream “Fuck” as loud as he could.
But I just don’t care. Not listening. Sometimes, and this is very rarely, there is no negotiation. My little brother is one of those times. Not sure why Rory is so bummed on the idea. He loves him. They get along great. Rory was a terrible influence on him when he was a little grom.
Rory used to play Creepy Dad with him and threaten him with molestation in the middle of the grocery store as loud as he could. Pretty sure all these games were simply meant to embarrass the hell out of me. Which isn’t hard. I couldn’t go out in public with those two. They’d chase me through stores screaming “Kill the Dragon Lady” while hitting me with sticks.
They used to play Skate Dad. If my little brother didn’t land a trick, Rory would pick him up and slam him up against the fence while cursing and screaming in his face. My brother was eight at the time.
Rory used to play Creepy Dad with him and threaten him with molestation in the middle of the grocery store as loud as he could. Pretty sure all these games were simply meant to embarrass the hell out of me. Which isn’t hard. I couldn’t go out in public with those two. They’d chase me through stores screaming “Kill the Dragon Lady” while hitting me with sticks.
So why the fuck is Rory so bummed? No clue. I’ve tried for the last sixteen years to make Rory happy. I mean, really tried. Sometimes, it’s not possible. This is one of those times. So I’m determined to enjoy myself, Rory be damned.
Anyway, my little brother’s here now and Rory is sitting next to me, as I write this, bitching that all he does is smoke weed and sleep. I try to tell Rory that he’s recovering from his recent adventure, but he’s not having it.
My little brother had been living in Christiania, an anarchist commune in Copenhagen, for the past six months.
Christiania has always fascinated me. It started when a bunch of anarchists, weirdos, and degenerates took over an abandoned military barrack in 1971. It’s consists of 84 acres of land and has around 850 residents. An autonomous collective with a playhouse, residences, community centers, and the skate parks which host the Copenhagen Open. More famously, Christiania features Pusher Street, the largest illegal drug market in Scandinavia. Hash and cannabis openly sold from stalls.
My little brother was living at the skate park and may or may not have been working on Pusher Street. The little fucktard also may or may not have a warrant for his arrest in Denmark. I’ll deal with that later.
The Danish government has never been happy with Christiania’s flouting of their drug laws. They’ve gone from periodic détente, to full out warfare with the residents. This spring, the Danish government set up a special task force and began almost daily raids of Pusher Street:
As an anonymous source described the situation, the police would come at similar times everyday. It was like a stupid game. The so-called pushers had look-outs stationed at strategic locations. The look-outs would give the signal that the police were on their way, and everyone would evacuate. No big deal. A daily nuisance. Occasionally the slow or unaware would get caught, but that’s price of doing business.
The police would also send in undercover cops to execute controlled buys. Again, sometimes people would get popped, and this may or may not include my little brother, but Denmark isn’t Singapore. First offenders likely face a fine and nothing more.
Well, on August 31st the day after my brother left, one such buy went wrong. A Pusher got busted and rather than do what every other pusher did, he pulled out a gun and began shooting. Two cops and one bystander were injured. The shooter was later killed.
First off, fuck that guy.
Yeah, the police should have left Christiania to itself. But don’t get into a shooting war over a couple hundred Danish Krone and some hash. Christiania has had some issues in the past with violence and biker gangs trying to move in on the drug trade. They’ve always managed to solve them internally.
In response to the current violence, the residents of Christiania got together and decided to demolish Pusher Street. The sale of cannabis is now forbidden in Christiania.
That dumb motherfucker ruined their freedom. Some asshole with a gun managed to do what the Danish government failed to for over four decades.
The shooting occurred the day after my little brother left Christiania. His reaction to the recent tragedy: “He shouldn’t have done that. There aren’t supposed to be guns in Chistiania. All the rules they have are chill, but nobody follows them anymore. It was anarchy in the anarchist commune. But fuck those cops anyway.”
Seems like Rory’s early influence stuck.
We thank you for your many sacrifices.
Christiania is a fantastic fucked up utopia which every city should have. The government has been trying for ages to boot them out as the land is probably worth the same as a small country.
sounds like Hamsterdamn in season 3 of the Wire.
Wherever there are drugs there is crime. Be they legal, ilegal or tacitly approved you can’t have people hanging around all day abusing drugs (and yes….just like an alcoholic if you can’t go a day without weed you are an addict) and not expect there to be problems. During my first trip to Amsterdam 20 years ago the coffe shops were kitschy, laid back and somewhat welcoming. Last summer when I went back they were anything but. Large groups of young men hanging around outside and very large bouncer-type dudes manning the door looking as intimidating as possible. Also for the first time in 20 years I had my ATM card skimmed. Again…great…legal drugs…but not free drugs so the money has to come from somewhere and if your priorities are weed over work then stealing/scamming becomes your best option.
The asshole shooter didn’t ruin their freedom. What freedom is there when the state (or whoever) controls what you can and can’t put into your own fucking body? He was mearly a symptom of what prohibition has wrought. And why isn’t Rory writing? Isn’t that his only job besides goofing off while you earn the big lawyer bucks? Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying your work, but don’t you already do everything for him? I’m wondering what he brings to the table in your relationship. He’s pretty funny, but he looks like Ben Rothlisberger with Down syndrome. He must have a huge cock. That’s got to be it. It’s a huge cock, I know it.
The problem isn’t what the state regulates or doesn’t….it’s the impact on the people who live around you. Be honest….if the government leagalized heroin would that make the world a better place? Would smack monkeys stand patiently in line at their local clinic every single day waiting for their legal ration of drugs? Would the people who live in any neighborhood (especially people who pay a ton of money in taxes) want a heroin den on their block? Don’t get me wrong….I completely agree that, to a certain extent, we are already doing this with ADD drugs, pain medication, etc. but do we really want to go the full monte and legalize everything and really create a nation of drug zombies?
Yes. I think Heroin (and all other drugs) should be legal and regulated rather than the current system where criminals control the supply and distribution. What about the impact alcoholism has on those around us? Should we prohibit alcohol so Al Capone and his ilk come back?
Here’s the thing with heroin…either you are an addict or you’re not. There is no having the occasional snort and then being good for six months. Same thing with crack (and for some people prescription painkillers). The difference with alcohol is that I can have a beer or two and not be sick until I have another one. I do agree that alcohol abuse is a huge problem but it doesn’t create dependants like opiates. Anyway…if, like I said, you think that heroin addicts will wait patiently in line for their next fix then you’re nuts. The results would be disastrous. But if the retarded politicians want to legalize heroin then I want a full handgun carry permit to protect myself and my family from the ensuing rampage.
if you give them the drug and concurrently try to help them get sober rather than sending them to jail, it’ll work as it’s working in Portugal.
If If that approach is working than that’s great but what kind of legal trouble are those people in? Are they in trouble simply for possession/dealing? Or are they in trouble for the collateral crime associated with supplying their habits? Even if drugs are legal addicts will still need to pay for their fix and if the number of addicts increase exponentially the amount of crime will likely increase exponentially and that includes a lot of innocent people getting hurt.
treating addicts as patients instead of criminals as been proven time and time again to be the only effective way to deal with this situation. Crime and violence happen because people cant get drugs, take the money out of prison systems and put it in holistic connective relationship based rehab and you will most likely cut the addiction rate in half like Portugal did in their first year. Its another of lifes great paradox’s; like productivity in the workforce – its been proven that if you give employees more time with their families and pay them more fairly the productivity goes UP not down.
The goal of legalizing drugs is supposed to be reducing crime, right? Well I don’t see how turning people into heroin addicts does that. Even in Denver where pot is legal the crime rate is up so there is no way making heroin legal really solves anything.
Don’t know where you get your facts from but this was pulled from the denver post: That means, in any given year, marijuana-related crimes in Denver make up less than 1 percent of all offenses counted in the Uniform Crime Report. “There’s absolutely no evidence that our change in marijuana laws has contributed to any specific crime increase,”. that poor couple found in the car. Would that have happened if they had a safe monitored place to shoot and then junk out? Most likely would of gone there, fried out and nothing would have happened and not driven around with their kid Time to real back the bigotry Jh. we well and truly understand now that if you treat people with dignity and respect it goes a hell of lot further than demonising them.
Dude…why not just call me a racist? Or even Hitler? Anyway…I guess it’s impossible to have a different opinion than your oh-so-enlightened self without calling someone a racist/bigot/ misogynist/hater/etc.. Good luck with that and let me know when you find those unicorns.
when ur opinion ignores fact then yes to me that is the borderline of bigotry.
Fact….drugs…specifically opiates are bad. They destroy lives, families and communities. Trying to normalize, apologize or rationalize for them is the pinnacle of ignorance and stupidity. Is that enough bigotry for you?
Here’s what we could see as a common occurrence if heroin were legalized:
http://nypost.com/2016/09/0…
Subtle advertising from the bong.
I get a headache even thinking about the endless discussions that would go on behind doors at Christiania.
Also Mrs Parker, when Rory starts mentioning how your work may be getting affected by your words for BeachGrit… he’s only jealous. Keep it up, great story.