Just in: Bob Martinez back on tour!

And Bruce Irons! And Scooby! It's a personality bonanza! A rebel tour!

The Rebel Tour dream has flitted before our eyes for many years now. Our brains understand what the ASP/WSL serve up. Best surfers. Best waves. But our hearts, oh our aching hearts, how they want more! How they want fire and spice, personality and sugar. Swears! Cusses!


Well guess what? Tomorrow begins the waiting period for a competition called Allianz Perfect Chapter.

It takes place over one day, at Pria do Norte in Portugal and is pura tube riding event and features surfers with fire and spice, with personality including:

Bruce Irons

Bob Martinez

Pedro Scooby

Damo Hobgood

Koa Rothman


You can bet your bottom dollar that fines will not be handed out willy-nilly. The the surfers will be able to have fun again!

Is this the start of something big? Something gorgeously light?

Let’s watch HERE and see!

NYTimes: Sunscreen you can eat!

Sunscreen that comes as a pill! How futuristic! How Gen Z! But does it work?

Sunscreen is a sonofabitch. You know it. I know it. Big pharma knows it.

Who likes it? Nobody wants to slick ’emselves in a stew of unpronounceable chemicals every two hours. But you want to get eaten up by a melanoma? Spend your last days affixed to a chemo tube? Yeah, me neither.

Now, according to the NY Times, edible sunscreen is on the menu. Instead of tubes of gunk rolling round the back of your car and swipes of zinc on your seats a new future beckons: grab a bottle of pills and shake out a little sun protection.

Here’s the report:

Every morning before Scott Kyle, a 53-year-old competitive sailor from San Clemente, Calif., hits the water, he chugs an orange-flavored beverage named UVO, a drinkable sunscreen intended to fight off sunburn from the inside out.

The vitamin-rich cocktail, available on the internet and at dozens of medical spas, tanning salons and pharmacies across the country, contains 30 immune-boosting antioxidants and other nutrients that, the makers say, help protect and repair the skin from sun damage.

“Normally I would be sunburned for a couple of days, and now I’m not,” Mr. Kyle said. “I’ve given it to other sailors, and they notice a difference. Now they come up to me and say, ‘Have you had your UVO today?’”

Mr. Kyle is not alone. A growing number of outdoors enthusiasts are turning to new sunscreen products that are said to protect the skin from harmful rays without the need to apply — and reapply — messy lotions and gels. But there is scant scientific evidence that the products actually work, or whether they have potentially harmful side effects.

In New York’s Hamptons, beachgoers pass around bottles of orange pills called Heliocare and pop the supplements as if they are a party drug. The herbal remedy is made from a fern called Polypodium leucotomos that is native to Central and South America, and its makers say that it helps the skin be more resilient to the sun and maintain a youthful look.

Do the tabs work?

Dr. David J. Leffell, the chief of dermatologic surgery and cutaneous oncology at the Yale School of Medicine, said that he understood the appeal of these alternative sunscreen products. “If you tell someone, ‘You can take this pill before you go out or you can drink this nice, refreshing, berry-flavored drink,’ they are hearing ‘magic bullet,’” he said. “They think, ‘I’ll drink this, and then I can do whatever I want because I’ll be protected.’”

But “there is no scientific evidence whatsoever that UVO functions as a sun protector,” or that any of these oral sunscreen products do what they say they do, Dr. Leffell said. “There is a sucker born every minute.”

A sucker born every minute?

Maybe buy as an accompaniment to your Modem anti-shark leash 


Keep the bottle in your glovebox next to your Power Balance bracelet.

Watch: Teen Surfers Save Drowning Kids!

Skipper comes in on a wing and a prayer! Kids disappear!

You might’ve seen this on our IG feed on Monday. Real short: boat comes swinging through a lineup, capsizes, kids get trapped under boat, two young surfers go and save the kids.

The back story: two pro’s, Micky Clarke, who is seventeen and rides for Quiksilver, and his pal Eithan Osborne, sixteen and Volcom, are surfing Ventura Harbor. Pal Chris Papaleo is shooting from the beach.

Suddenly, “There’s a boat joining the lineup and it ended up catching a good-sized set,” says Mickey. “It seemed like it had no awareness of its surroundings, just recklessly going through the lineup and ended up capsizing.”

Mickey sees there’s a couple of kids onboard and when they don’t come up after the boat goes over, yells for Eithan, who’s closer, to get ’em out.

“They were under the boat for ten or fifteen seconds,” says Mickey. Eithan climbed onto the boat and pushed down on one gunwale so the boat would lift on one side. The kids, who were around nine and twelve, swam out. Mickey and Eithan paddled the first kid to the beach; Mickey went back and got the older one.

How was the driver? “The driver was the dad of the children,” says Mickey. “And after he came up after flipping the boat he started shouting, ‘My boat! My boat! I won’t let my boat sink!’ And climbed on top until the harbor patrol rescued him. He had no explanation for why he was driving through the lineup. He did nothing to save his children.”

On the beach, the kids said “Thank you” but didn’t respond to questions. “We don’t know whether they were in shock, couldn’t speak, or couldn’t speak English,” says Mickey.

The story, and the footage, aired…everywhere. Mickey and Eithan were on CNN, ABC, Fox 11 and KTLA.

“That was really cool for us,” says Mickey.




Gabriel Medina Portugal
Penultimate event of the year, neck-and-neck title race. First three heats of round two feature the three surfers most likely to clinch the top spot. Why send them out into a closed-out wave catching contest? Gigs says it's no wonder people call it the Portugese Pipeline. Do people really say that? If so, they need to stop. That's a stupid thing to say. | Photo: WSL

Portugal: Title Decided in Close-outs?

Nine days left in the waiting period, what's the hurry?

The final presidential debate, and five heats of Portugal’s round two, in one night? Such drama, such insanity. What have I done to deserve this?

Seriously. Whatever it is, I’ll stop. Just, please, don’t hurt me again.

The debate… it weren’t great, not for America. Clinton called Trump a Russian puppet. He called her a nasty woman, then alluded he wouldn’t accept any election he didn’t win. Not great for democracy. Pretty in line with how a Russian plant would behave, though.

But I ain’t worried. Trump’s certain loss won’t lead to his followers taking up arms and taking the streets. Because they’re cowards. You’ve gotta be to truly believe you live in a world where you need an arsenal for home protection.

Kind of like all the dorks screaming about modern society stealing their masculinity. If you’ve gotta join a club dedicated to reinforcing your identity as a strong male you’re definitely anything but. Political correctness, or social marxism, or whatever term you’re using to denigrate evolving concepts of basic social decency, can’t steal your manhood. Nothing weaker than a man who feels threatened by strong women.

But we’re here to talk about surfing, aren’t we?

Let’s move on.

The WSL made a bad call. Terrible call. Worst call ever. It’s a disaster!

Penultimate event of the year, neck-and-neck title race. First three heats of round two feature the three surfers most likely to clinch the top spot. Why send them out into a closed-out wave catching contest? Nine days left in the waiting period, what’s the hurry?

Gigs says it’s no wonder people call it the Portugese Pipeline. Do people really say that? If so, they need to stop. That’s a stupid thing to say.

First heat of the loser round featured JJF and the wild card, Miguel Blanco. Scary to draw a local surfer in these conditions. On a day like this the win’s going to whoever gets the better waves. There’ll be no fifty/fifty split of ripping.

Florence hung on. Found an open right and got some hits in. Stroked into an okay left, boosted an air slightly past mid heat. Lucked into an open barrel in the dying minutes, solidified the lead he already held. Stays in first on the ‘CT.

Heat two saw Medina go on a wave catching spree. Twelve waves over a half hour. That’s some solid endurance.

Gabriel surfed well, like always. Found solid scores. Did one super cool speed snap to reverse. Landed fins first and slid loose for a while. Not one of his keeper scores, but the highlight in my mind.

Sadly for Callinan, Medina didn’t really win the heat. Callinan lost it. He found the best wave of the heat, a punchy overhead number. Hit it square, hard, then came unglued on the next turn. Total kick in the guts. You could tell he knew it. The section was perfect for a bash, could’ve added another point or two. Would’ve gotten the win, Medina took it by .41.

Best heat of the day was next. Flores came out of the gate on fire, stuck a knife in the throat of Wilko’s title dream. Hung it by its feet, drained the blood, chopped the thing to bits, fried it up for dinner.

But you can’t blame Wilko. He didn’t do anything wrong. When the surf is, more or less, garbage, and your opponent finds a highlight worthy barrel in the first couple minutes, there’s not a hell of a lot you can do.

Especially when Flores used that momentum to surf better than he has for most of this year. Backed up his early nine with a a three turn combo, the first two vicious vertical stabs, for a seven. Then immediately used priority to force his way into a backhand tube that, really, looked unmakeable.

It wasn’t particularly big, or open, but watching Flores rail grab pump through a tight fit is rad as fuck.

He put the Aussie in combo and left him sitting there for the next eighteen minutes.

I’ll hand it to Wilko, he didn’t surrender. With four and a half left he got a very good left hand barrel for an eight. Came unglued on his fall-from-the-sky end section floater attempt. Might’ve gone all the way to ten if he’d landed it.

Not that it would’ve mattered. Flores stuck to him like glue for the last couple minutes. Let Wilko have a nothing closeout, retained priority, and sent him packing.

I said it in my pre-event fantasy picker, “Flores either does very well, or very poorly. Looks like this event is gonna be the former.

Ribeiro/Wilson was boring. No other way to put it. Nothing but semi-closed out whompers. Both men were struggling to stick a single turn in before it shut down. Wilson won, but it wasn’t anything to write home about.

Skinny Wilko looked so sad when Rosie interviewed him. Bring back chubby Wilko. He loved life.

I want to know what Mel was saying. Wilko ended his interview with, “Maybe something will happen, someone will get disqualified, and I’ll get first.”

Pete Mel loved it. “Ah, dude. That’s beautiful. Someone will get disqualified and I’ll still win. Wait, you know what could happen? John John or…”

… then they cut his mic.

What could happen, Pete? What could happen?!?!?

Final heat before they wised up and shut it down was Toledo/Melling.

The Llama absolutely steamrolled Melling. Started off the heat with a solid backhand barrel, came out and two turn combo’ed the end. 7.67. Followed up with a soaring blast off a lined up chest high right. Got the 7.5, buried Melling deep.

Filipe’s a dad now, which is a crazy choice when you’re on the road most of the year. Pretty hard to be present. Missed the birth of his first child!

I suppose it’s good to set a precedent. “This is all there will be, nino.” Or whatever nino is in Portugese. Internet says it’s menino. Maybe with a tilda? I don’t know how to type those.

That’s it for day two. Probably shouldn’t have run at all. But it’s much easier to point out failures than to actually find success.

At least they had the good sense to end things early.

Just in: Women to Titan of Mavericks!

California's premier big wave surfing event pulls from the dark ages!

The Titans of Mavericks is a big wave surf event that thrills like no other. Dane Reynolds, THE Dane Reynolds, will be surfing in it this year and now also the ladies! Nobody respects women more than Cartel Management, the event license holder. Nobody. Let’s read about it!

The Titans of Mavericks big wave surf contest apparently will offer a women’s competition after all.

The announcement of the women’s heat was made on the contest’s social media accounts Wednesday afternoon, a little more than 48 hours before the opening ceremony for the 2016-17 contest is scheduled to be held Friday at Maverick’s Beach near Half Moon Bay. It also comes less than a week after Cartel Management, Inc., submitted a permit amendment application that included no plans for a women’s heat until the 2017-18 season.

“I’m pretty excited about what’s going on, especially since Friday I was pretty pissed off,” said Sabrina Brennan, who has been a driving force for the inclusion of women in the competition.

Six women will throw down for an hour during the main Titans of Mavericks competition for a share of a $30,000 purse, according to Brian Waters, the chief operating officer for both Titans of Mavericks and Cartel Management. The surfers will be selected by Nov. 1 by the contest’s Committee 5 — a group of five Maverick’s patriarchs, including pioneer Jeff Clark, who were also tasked with selecting the 24 invitees to the main event.

The contest window opens in November and will run through March 31.

Waters said the contest board had no reason for its seemingly sudden decision to include women this year other than, “It’s quite simply the right time.”

“There was no compelling driver other than it was the time to do it,” Waters said.

Titans of Mavericks organizers have been facing increasing pressure to add women to the lineup or give them their own heat since Cartel acquired the contest last year.

Brennan, a San Mateo County Harbor District Commissioner, made her initial push for inclusion when she appeared before the California Coastal Commission during its local meeting in 2015. She asked the CCC to make including women in the contest a requirement for obtaining the commission’s permit, which allows the closure of Maverick’s Beach, the nearby parking lot and a trail connecting the two. The commission voted to adopt the requirement for future permits.

When the contest released its updated list of 38 on Sept. 29, no women made the cut. Then came the proposal for a women’s heat next season. Many female big wave surfers felt that was Cartel pandering to the commission while seeking a four-year permit extension.

Brennan said Wednesday’s announcement is good news. Still, she noted that the Committee for Equity in Women’s Surfing — the group founded by pro surfers Bianca Valenti, Keala Kennelly, Paige Alms and Andrea Moller — will continue to push for equal treatment.

“It is great news. I’m very excited about it,” Brennan said. “I think having the dialogue is very important.”

“Whoever holds the permit needs to include a professional event,” she added, “and that means including equity for women.”

And why do you think that Cartel Management change their minds? What was the spark for such a 180 turn? Whatever the reason it is good and right. Now just include Pete Mel and Twiggy and the ship shall be righted!