Death: Kanoa Igarashi gonna kill you!

He gonna choke you 'til you black out then murder you dead!

When you think of death and destruction and black eyes and cauliflower ears and Conner McGregor and choke outs and broke faces and blood and death and destruction and fear and the octagon and Khabib Nurmagomedov and arm bars and blacking out and human growth hormone and death and destruction and gouged eyes and collapsed tracheas do you think of young Huntington Beach surfer Kanoa Igarashi?

Or cute San Clemente grommet Griffen Colapinto?

I don’t!

I think “young” and “cute!”

But apparently both Kanoa Igarashi and Griffen Colapinto are not young and cute but rather stone cold mixed martial artists. Maybe. The modern surfer puts “training” at the top of his list when going to Oahu’s North Shore and by “training” he means doing some jiu jitsu and sweating a little bit and arm baring a smidge.

And why not, I suppose. The North Shore is a rough place.

Still. I, for one, am happy not to have grown up in the “training” era. I am happy to have gotten by on my wild windmill hammer. My refusal to ever go to the mat. My actually being unhinged.

Who wants to fight a man with a very crooked nose and absolutely nothing to lose?

I hope not Kanoa Igarashi.

Or Griffen Colapinto.