Just kidding! But angry Facebook live face rules!
I don’t understand technology and it makes me lots ashamed. I ain’t hiding, like some, my technological inabilities underneath a blanket of faux too-cool-for-shit-bro. No. I’m just dumb. My brain is soggy. It doesn’t work good no more. Millennials are stealing from me while I peck at my keyboard all confused and dumb.
But I just googled something just now and saw Surfing magazine doing a Facebook live thing about which 540 was better. Kelly’s or Albee’s. A snowboarder taught us all today that we, as surfers, are confused and dumb when it comes to rotation and neither Kelly’s nor Albee’s were 540s but maybe 720s instead.
Whatever.
I went to their Facebook live and was totally confused. Like, why hasn’t Surfer eaten Surfing yet? What does Surfing bring to this world besides grown men drooling over teenaged boys? Seriously. The Inertia is for closeted lesbians, Stab is for East Indian fake computer bots, Surfer is for my 50 year old brother-in-law but what’s Surfing for?
Seriously.
Just kidding!
I know! For hot high performance action! Right? Yeah! And their Facebook live thing dissecting hot high performance action is right on!
So I clicked.
On one side of the page was Albee Layer with an eyepatch. On the other Side was Kelly Slater mid poop. And lots of hearts and thumbs up scrolled past underneath.
A ticker of engagement!
There was an option, though, for an angry face. I started smashing this button as furiously as I could, trying to fill the whole thing with angry faces.
I couldn’t win.
There was always either a heart or a thumbs up floating amidst my rage.
The moral of the story is that Surfing is happy place!
And also, why the hell are Surfing readers voting for Kelly Slater? It’s a matter of minutes until that publication is eaten by Surfer.
Seriously.
Just kidding!
if it aint foam symmetry, the surfer’s journal, or beach grit ion want it
My buddy works at Premedia or whatever it’s called. The other day in the lot he gave me both mags. I took them home and set them on my dining table next to my iPad. I flipped through both, thin as hell, full of shitty ads. DOA. Outdated content is fucking over man.
I just got the latest Surfer in the post, the one with the shot from Papua on the cover, thinner than a durex featherlight!
Surfing used to be for making Surfer look like your crippled Grandpa. Now? It’s for making Stab look young and vigorous.
I come to BeachShit to get a second chance at making a comment on the same article that was published on STAB or vice versa. Nonetheless, I adore Chas and Derek’s interaction with their readership. They are better than little bitches like Morgan and Jed.
True story: I met morgan once. He’s exactly as dim and dull as you’d expect.
Tell me more
what an utterly suck ass way to try to get viewers. the very first day albee puts up an amazing clip, they compare him to slater–whose fans would vote for him if they showed a clip of him drinking purps. i unliked surfing after their slimy little story implying the judges conspired to give the win to jjf in the hawaiian pro–that the 7.33 “reeked of questionability”. then when i asked them to be more clear what they meant, were they, like the medina shame club, suggesting a conspiracty, they responded i’d gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, of course they would never imply such a thing since “love” john.
The magazine comparison is like asking, “Whose fart smells worse?” And as one baja lizard neck told me a few years back..never trust a fart.
Your handle sends me into fits of giggle.
especially the wet ones!
That’s a “shart” isn’t it??
or Mud!
A fart is the most honest thing there is.