Just kidding! But angry Facebook live face rules!
I don’t understand technology and it makes me lots ashamed. I ain’t hiding, like some, my technological inabilities underneath a blanket of faux too-cool-for-shit-bro. No. I’m just dumb. My brain is soggy. It doesn’t work good no more. Millennials are stealing from me while I peck at my keyboard all confused and dumb.
But I just googled something just now and saw Surfing magazine doing a Facebook live thing about which 540 was better. Kelly’s or Albee’s. A snowboarder taught us all today that we, as surfers, are confused and dumb when it comes to rotation and neither Kelly’s nor Albee’s were 540s but maybe 720s instead.
I went to their Facebook live and was totally confused. Like, why hasn’t Surfer eaten Surfing yet? What does Surfing bring to this world besides grown men drooling over teenaged boys? Seriously. The Inertia is for closeted lesbians, Stab is for East Indian fake computer bots, Surfer is for my 50 year old brother-in-law but what’s Surfing for?
I know! For hot high performance action! Right? Yeah! And their Facebook live thing dissecting hot high performance action is right on!
So I clicked.
On one side of the page was Albee Layer with an eyepatch. On the other Side was Kelly Slater mid poop. And lots of hearts and thumbs up scrolled past underneath.
A ticker of engagement!
There was an option, though, for an angry face. I started smashing this button as furiously as I could, trying to fill the whole thing with angry faces.
I couldn’t win.
There was always either a heart or a thumbs up floating amidst my rage.
The moral of the story is that Surfing is happy place!
And also, why the hell are Surfing readers voting for Kelly Slater? It’s a matter of minutes until that publication is eaten by Surfer.