Don’t the stock market work fast! Earlier
today, maybe even two hours ago, or less, it was reported on this website that surf clothing icon
Billabong was riding a wave of unprecedented share
price growth. From forty-ish cents to well over one dollar
apiece.
It was like the glory days of the IPO when, soon after, shares
hit sixteen-dollars and millionaires in Burleigh Heads were a dime
a dozen. Well, as revealed in our comment pane minutes ago by
BeachGrit reader Nick Carroll, who might be related to the
two-time world surfing champion Tom Carroll and who is infinitely
cleverer than the imbeciles who own this website, shares have
actually swung hard the other way.
Down, down, down.
“Umm in case you didn’t notice, Bong did a stock merge in the
interim. Your 5000 60c shares should now be 1000 $3 shares,” wrote
Nick, “Except they’re not are they. No.”
“The firm has since made great strides in its rebuilding
process, with its share price more than tripling from 45c at the
time of the GE Capital agreement.”
To which Nick revealed the true tragedy behind the story, and
behind the average man trying to play the market.
“The Australian has fucked up,” writes Nick. “In May 2015, being
an idiot, I bought six thousand Billabong shares at 71c apiece,
i.e. about $4300 worth. Some time later they conducted their stock
consolidation and briefly I had twelve hundred shares worth around
$3.60 each. I now have twelve hundred Billabong shares worth $1.23
each, about $1480 worth. This is not a threefold increase I am sad
to say. Indeed it is almost the fucken opposite. Now there are
analysts’ projections out there suggesting that in the next two
years or so, Billabong will turn its current quite negative balance
sheet into an impressive positive. Perhaps one day those shares
will eventually regain their lost ground. But in the deathless
words of Aragorn in The Two Towers’: “It is not this day!””
Were you, like me, briefly rich? Did you examine the price of
prestige cars? Maybe a little house by the sea?
How do you feel now that the cold wind of poverty whistles
through your threadbare t-shirt, now that the long and gloomy night
gathers around you, the ghosts of hope haunting you?
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Rich: Billabong’s Shares Up 300%!
By Derek Rielly
Did you buy Billabong shares at our behest last
year? You're rich!
Most stock-market advice is shaky as hell.
Ask the real money and they’ll tell you not to jump in unless you
have some kind of insider trading, illegal as that theoretically
might be. ‘Cause if you don’t get in, or out, early, you can’t even
get close to licking the spoon.
On behalf of our readers, last year BeachGrit sought
advice on the likely trajectory of Billabong shares, then trading
at what seemed a cheap sixty-ish Australian cents apiece.
Billabong have halved the number of retail stores and sold
off a few of their biz’s, reducing debt, but, tellingly, a couple
of hard-nosed US private-equity companies have bought hard into
Billabong.
And the CEO is Neil Fiske, who was instrumental in driving
the fortunes of the king of US retail Les Wexner,
turning Victoria’s Secret and A
& F into the dirtiest of money spinners.
On the creative side, Billabong has hired Roxy’s head
designer to help drive Billabong gals, RVCA is starting to soar and
Tiger Lily is still an unfulfilled buy.
Most interestingly, Billabong’s founder Gordon Merchant
recently dropped $2 million upping his share parcel from 8 to 10
per cent. It’s a move that hints that he is finding the price too
good to refuse.
As soon as the market works out the new management with
their PE Backers have a plan to restore their old margins and and
with Billabong still turning over one billion a year hit makes a
share price of little over a dollar likely.
Is it worth a punt? Yeah, if you’re going to stick around
for a few years. It’ll jump around, as shares do, but don’t torture
yourself by watching the share price on your phone every few hours.
Take a long-term view.
Set, forget, and come back when it’s around a buck. Then
sell.
Bullish? We weren’t bullish enough.
Today shares sell for $1.23.
You could’t turned that ten k into twenty, fifty-k into a
hundred, five hundred into a mill.
And, if you’d got in a little earlier, say, late 2014, you
would’ve made a 300 per cent profit.
Did you buy? Are you rich?
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Parker: “I’m taking to the hills!”
By Rory Parker
Two days left until the election. I've had
enough.
I’m taking to the hills.
Two days left until the election. I’ve had enough.
The first election I was old enough to vote in was Bush v Gore.
Total shit show. Lies and fear. Thought I’d seen the worst.
Should’ve known better.
I highly doubt Trump will win, but nothing’s assured in this
crazy, mixed-up world. People are sick of ‘PC culture.’ They want
to go back to the good old days. When you could say ‘nigger’
without checking the room. When women who didn’t know their place
were a non-issue because society denied them upward mobility. When
you could be an idiot loser piece of shit with no skills or
education or ability to reason. But so long as you were white you
had a leg up.
I’ve got a cabin rented in Koke’e. No
phone, no internet, no TV. Just silence and cool mountain air and a
bunch of booze and some drugs. I’ll be back in time to cast my
vote, just don’t want to spend the next couple days constantly
checking election coverage. Poking at a gaping wound in my psyche.
Reinforcing my natural cynicism.
They want to go back to the good old days. When you could say
‘nigger’ without checking the room. When women who didn’t know
their place were a non-issue because society denied them upward
mobility. When you could be an idiot loser piece of shit with no
skills or education or ability to reason. But so long as you were
white you had a leg up.
I feel like I’m in an out of control vehicle. Sitting in the
backseat, spinning without traction towards a cliff’s edge. I’ve
got no way to change the outcome. Rather than scream in terror I’m
just closing my eyes and hoping things work out.
See you in a few days.
Until then, here’s a recipe for Vanilla Ginger Creme Brulee.
Ingredients:
2 cups heavy cream
1 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar, plus a few more tablespoons for topping
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh ginger
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
6 egg yolks
Preparation:
Whisk together the milk, cream, ginger and vanilla, heat to just
below a boil, then simmer for thirty minutes. Remove from heat and
allow to sit for fifteen minutes.
While the milk/cream mixture is steeping, use a electric mixture
to whisk together the sugar and egg yolks until they are fluffy and
light in color.
Using a strainer to remove solids, slowly add the cream to your
eggs. Press down on the solids to squeeze out the delightful ginger
flavor. Stir gently using a rubber spatula until well combined.
Preheat your oven to 300 degrees.
Now pour your mix into ramekins, you should have enough to fill
five, then place them inside a roasting pan. Allow mixture to
settle, then either skim off bubbles or burn them off with your
kitchen torch. Both options work fine, the second is more fun.
Fill the roasting pan with boiling water to midway up the sides
of your ramekins, then pop it in the oven for thirty minutes.
You’ll know if your custard is done if it jiggles slightly when
shaken, but is relatively firm. If it’s still too soft return oven
at a lower temp and keep an eye on it.
When the center wobbles slightly if jiggled, remove from oven
and allow to cool. Then place in your refrigerator for a couple
hours.
When you’re ready to eat it, sprinkle sugar on top (use white
sugar for best results). Use a torch to burn the sugar, then allow
to cool for a few minutes.
Lacking a kitchen torch you can use your broiler to caramelize
the sugar.
But a torch is much more fun, and should only set you back
thirty bucks or so.
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Texas Wavegarden Closed Indefinitely!
By Derek Rielly
NLand Surf Park shuts for repairs one month after
swinging open its doors.
In a mirror of the only other commercially operating
Wavegarden, NLand Surf Park in Texas
has been shut down almost exactly one month after loosing the
plough that creates the rippable little swells.
A bummer since nearly every session y’tried to squeeze into had
booked out, making a mockery of the naysayers who said they
wouldn’t be able to find chumps willing to spend ninety bucks on a
ten-wave session. For some visitors, the experience was…
divine!
Neighbors of a new surf park outside Austin say the park is
making waves next door, spilling water into their neighborhood. On
Monday, the park said they were closing for a week after finding
damage under the lagoon. The park, which opened Oct. 7, said they
would drain the lagoon and then make repairs.
The Austin Watershed Protection Department confirmed a
release of water from the park spread onto nearby
property.
“The Watershed Protection Department Spills Team
investigated the site and found a discharge of clear water from the
park, but they did not find any indication that the water was
polluted or chlorinated,” wrote Scott Prinsen, a spokesperson for
the watershed protection department. “The department can only
enforce water quality issues at the site.”
“It was full of water, I couldn’t even walk through here,”
said Patricia Garcia, referring to her driveway.
Garcia wants to make sure this doesn’t happened again and
says it has happened before. NLand Surf Park also confirmed that it
drained its lagoon Monday and the water ran off of its
property.
“[The city] let us know about this and we immediately
addressed the issue. We take every opportunity to be good
neighbors,” wrote NLand spokesperson Chris Jones in an email to
KXAN News.
And, in a poetic response from the pool:
President Theodore Roosevelt
famously wrote, “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth
doing unless it means, effort, pain, difficulty . . . .” President
Roosevelt, how prophetic you were, especially when it comes
building North America’s first surf park.
The liner in our reef section
has been compromised more so than expected by fin and nose cuts and
we need to do more extensive repairs. Therefore, we will be closed
through November and potentially beyond. If we open, we will
personally rebook you.
The line, “If we open…” is a little haunting, don’t
you think?
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Nathan Florence: “I can’t do airs!”
By Derek Rielly
Middle Flo don't have wings but watch his eyeballs
oscillate when he sees big waves!
Twenty-ish years old and already the middle Florence
bro has accumulated much street wisdoms. He
ain’t one for getting looped but ain’t afraid of a beer or two
either. And his eyeballs will protrude and oscillate wildly when
he sees big waves.
BeachGrit likes! Let’s French!
What are your favourite sounds?
I like the sound of the waves when I go to sleep. We grew up
directly opposite the beach and it was always there. You don’t even
realise that you like that sound until you stay the night somewhere
where you can’t hear it. It’s an addicting sound. It’s a rumbling.
There’s a constant static roar and then you’ll hear the sets
break… purrrraaah… yeah, that must’ve been a big one. If
it’s really big and you can really hear the big ones and the
windows shake a little bit, that excites me. It’s a little harder
to sleep when you know it’s going to be big in the morning and then
it’s calming when it’s summertime and it’s just hitting the beach…
super slow.
Tell me about where you live now…
We live directly next to the lifeguard stand at Pipe, right on
the beach. My bedroom is in the middle. I share a bedroom with my
younger brother Ivan. We have a bunk bed. He’s in the top bunk, I’m
on the bottom bunk. It’s a little cave.
In your reading, what books have moved
you?
It’s hard to explain books because after you read one, you’ll
always say that was the best book I’ve ever read. But then you read
the next one and you’re, like… that one… was the favourite
book I’ve ever read. Then you read another one and that is. As you
read the next one you forget about the one before. I’ve never read
a book I didn’t like ’cause after the first chapter, if I don’t
like it, I just put it down. The ones that I finish are the ones
that instantly drag you in. I read all the Game of
Thrones books. I finished ’em a couple of months ago.
Those things are… so… sick. I seriously finished them in a month, I
read every one, there’s seven of ’em.
When do you read?
Right before I go to bed or after surfing, whenever you have
time to relax and lay down for a second. Especially in airports.
That’s when you really fly through them. I get through, in a
session, maybe a hundred pages. I never fall asleep reading. People
say they get sick reading in a car but that’s my favourite time to
read cause car rides are… boring.
What book inspired you to read when you were a
child?
The first book I read, The Lion, the Witch and the
Wardrobe when I was in third grade (six years old).
Before that I hated reading. My teacher gave it to me and said,
just read this book, maybe you’ll be more psyched on reading after
this And I read it, and there’s like seven of those, and, she was
right, I …so… psyched on it. And… boom… I read all that
series. My grandpa reads a ton so he’s always sending me the books
he finishes. He likes the same kinds of books that I like.
What is heaven for you?
When the waves are firing at home in late winter. Pipe’s going
off and everyone’s tired of surfing already ’cause it’s been, like,
a week and it’s me and my friends cruising and we’ve surfed all day
and relaxing, drinking a couple of beers. You look around, well, I
do anyway, and say, yup, this is exactly how I want to live.
What is the most remarkable thing you’ve seen in big
waves?
I’ve seen some crazy stuff John’s done in person. John’s always
blowing minds getting barrels. Koa’s last wave in Tahiti was pretty
baffling. The Code Red swell (August 27, 2011) was the sickest
thing I’ve ever seen in big waves. I love how they’re all eating
shit on ’em. And these are the types of waves when people make ’em
everyone says, “Oh, if you’d fallen you would’ve died for sure.”
But, then, those guys were eating shit on the gnarliest waves
possible and surviving perfectly. Nate’s (Fletcher’s) wave. Think
about it. If he had made that wave, everyone would’ve said,
“There’s no way you would’ve survived if you hadn’t made it. You
would’ve died, f’sure.” But he ate shit in the gnarliest part and
then…fucken… handled it. That’s the sickest
part. When they get the bomb, travel, travel, travel and then… eat…
shit. Wipeouts are my favourite.
Does it give you confidence in your own pursuit of big
waves seeing guys eat shit and nothing
happening?
Definitely. Whenever you’re going into a big swell, your mind
is…it’s a constant little stress case mind battle, I could die, I
could die, I could die, but then the thing about those guys is
that’s way gnarlier than anything I’ve ever surfed so it’s fate
whether you die or not. You don’t have a choice. Those guys were
surviving, so fuck…
How would you describe the hierarchy between the three
brothers?
We’re all even to each other. John’s obviously way ahead of me
and Ivan performance-wise, I feel like. He has the super
competitive drive. He loves the contests whereas I… hate contests.
I can’t stand them. I’d rather chase a swell and surf by myself in
bigger waves than go grind it out in the CT. Ivan’s the same way,
kinda. But then, Ivan has a sicker style. His style is way sicker
me or John’s. We each have our little pluses. John is a super
human.
Describe Ivan’s style.
I don’t even know how he’s so smooth, like, Tom Curren and then
he has that little drop-knee like…that guy…that air guy… with the
long, curly hair and he kinda drop knees…
Craig Anderson…
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he has a sick little drop-knee thing…
How would you describe the personality types of the
brothers?
Ivan is a serious little guy. Very serious little face. I’m more
of the sarcastic one who’s making a joke out of everything and then
John is just right in between. He can be super mature, just ’cause
he has to deal with so many interviews and business-like stuff, but
then at the same time he’s more immature than me and
Ivan… especially when he gets drunk.
What does he do when he’s boozed?
He looks like a little kid. He looks like a five year old.
When I was 10, John threw a rock at my face and knocked out all
my front teeth. It was completely by accident. He meant to throw
the rock at me but he didn’t mean to knock out all my teeth. He
threw it from 50 feet away. He had perfect aim.
What’s the worst insult you’ve ever
received?
I’ve never been super super rousted or else I didn’t even take
it to heart.
What’s the cruellest thing John or Ivan has said to
you?
I can tell you the cruellest thing ever done to me. When I was
10, John threw a rock at my face and knocked out all my front
teeth. It was completely by accident. He meant to throw the rock at
me but he didn’t mean to knock out all my teeth. He threw it from
50 feet away. He had perfect aim somehow. I was bodysurfing and he
wanted to go up to the house and I said I wanted to stay
bodysurfing and then he wanted to get my attention so he started
throwing rocks at me. I remember, he was 50 feet away and he winged
it, and I watched it arc up and I was looking at it and I was,
like, ooh, that kinda looks like it’s coming at me and it was,
like, shit, it’s going to hit me and before I could even try and
dodge it the thing just smashed into my mouth. I
was crunching and I thought the rock had broken on my teeth so I
spit it all out and it was all my teeth. I ran up to the house…
What did Alex do?
She was all pissed. We put ice on my teeth but all the nerves
were exposed so the ice hurt super bad and then John got a spanking
or something. He got rousted super hard for that one. I felt bad
for him.
If you ever wanted to get under John’s skin, how would
you insult him?
Mmmmmm. Mmmmmm. By telling him he was cocky.
He doesn’t like that?
No, he doesn’t like that. Telling him he’s number one, “Oh,
sorry, sorry, John, you’re number one, you’re the guy, we’re
sorry!” (Laughter) That’s upsetting to him. He tries to play it
down, “Oh, you’re the guy, you’re the guy.” But he knows it’s
half-true so he can’t deny it…compleeeetly… but he doesn’t
want to be, he’s so modest that he gets super irritated that
someone thinks he’s cocky.
What’s right with the world?
I have no idea what’s right with the world? What do you think is
right with the world?
I think what’s right with the world is that everyone is
richer beyond their wildest imaginations and kids aren’t crippled
with polio and there’s no world war…
…that’s true…
…and there hasn’t been a nuclear explosion in 80
years…
Mmmmhmmm. Those are all pluses.
…and Obama’s president…
You think so?
Oh, I do.
I’ve never thought about presidents at all. I never focus on
such things.
To me, it indicates the strength of American society
when it elects someone as intellectual as Obama…twice…
I was actually thinking it would be sick if they chose the
president by a Gladiator’s tournament. The guys have to be super
smart but super good at warfare fighting stuff, too. Like they have
to fight their way to the top. They put ’em through a maze kinda
thing straight into a battle thing so that our president would be,
like, the gnarliest fighter and (italics) the smartest. Then
there’s not some guy just giving orders. He could go and destroy
(italics) if he wanted to.
What do you like most about yourself?
I seem to be able to get along with people. I guess that’s a
plus.
What do you find hard?
Airs. I can’t do airs, surfing.
At what level can’t you do airs. Can you land a straight
air, a little air rev or are you bereft of wings?
I’ve landed three air reverses in my whole life.
Where does the problem lay, in the mechanics or the lack
of desire?
First, I never thought of them. I didn’t care about ’em and then
the way people started doing airs, like John, Matt and Albee, those
things are actually nuts and then I started trying to do airs. And
I just realised that I was a complete failure at them. The
mechanics are foreign to me. I can get myself in the air but no
matter what, when I land on my board, I’m eating shit.
Is there anything you wonder about?
I wonder why I can’t be a super hero.
Do you want to be a super hero?
Yeah. I would like to be Superman. I wonder why there’s none of
those in the world. No straight super-humans. How sick would that
be?
Oh, it would be a thrill!
I’m bummed I can’t be a super… human. Like the Spartans in Halo
or straight Superman himself: laser vision, indestructible. How
sick would that be? There’s nothing like that, there’s no way you
could possibly beat that.
I wonder if life might seem unsatisfying without danger
or fear.
I guess that’s true. There’d have to be some flaw involved. But
I think it would be amazing, too. If you ever got frustrated you
could destroy whole trees. You could destroy an entire village
(with nobody in it).
That would be
satisfying.
Yes, that would be satisfying.
You are so wise for a professional
surfer.
(Mid-level shriek) Ha!
I don’t think I’ve ever encountered such
wisdom…
Thank you, sir.
(Note: This story first appeared what feels like a
zillion years ago here, hence the Obama refs. On the occasion of
John John’s ascendency we reprint.)
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros