The noted Rory Parker has left the building. Do you have what it takes to replace him?
Do you dream of standing on a soapbox and shouting whatever you feel at the surf world?
Of being a lovable curmudgeon?
Of getting paid to fly to the North Shore and not hanging out with professional surfers or in the surf houses?
Well then you could be our new/next Rory Parker!
Our old Rory Parker has just broken up with us. I won’t go into detail as to why (hopefully the boy will come back for a last encore and explain himself) except to say that the surf journalism biz is a tough one. It takes a hide thicker than a Miura bull to stick around. Have you ever actually looked at Nick Carroll? At Matt Warshaw? At Derek Rielly? At me? That ain’t sun damage, baby. Those are callouses, scars and dried spittle!
But don’t let me discourage you! No profession is more esteemed, more noble. And to be buried underneath a tombstone reading SURF JOURNALIST 1976 – 2043 is the greatest pleasure a man can know.
And while the tears staining Derek’s and my cheeks re. old Rory have not yet dried our pain is your gain.
So.
We are looking for a new voice, a fresh point of view. Someone fun? Funny? Connected? Hungry? Oh it could be anything! The only prerequisite is to be 63% anti-depressive.
If you think you’ve got what it takes email a 300-ish word riff on mmmmmm the best thing in surf to [email protected] before New Year’s day. The top three will get posted and the people will decide.
What do you get?
The chance to be surf famous of course which is ! But also maybe a paycheck in a few months (we’re sooo close to profitability!) and a Matt Biolos surfboard.
Come write for BeachGrit! It’s freer than the WSL™!
Wow can’t believe this all went down from Rory’s podcast. I’m a huge fan of Rory’s writing, basically why I still come here, but I could only listen to about 5 minutes of his podcast. I can’t imagine a large portion of your visitors listening to these, what do you think it is? 5%? What’s Rory supposed to tell Cori that the episode isn’t airing, she isn’t interesting enough? It’s a fucking podcast. And Derek didn’t want to publish this podcast yet over the years how many Chas articles have been published about him having a thought in a bar or in traffic and writing about it. It’s annoying and I don’t read the vast majority of Chas’s articles but I understood that you had a small team and were trying to push content. Then Rory puts in a good amount of work and you are all of sudden concerned with the quality of your content?
And I don’t know what Mrs. Parker said but wives should get passes on the shit they say, however Chas commenting about Rory’s wife being passive aggressive on public forum is annoying as fuck to me. Were Chas and Rory friends at all? I’d say there was a chance of working this out until Chas went there. I expect a fistfight in the future from you two. I usually refrain from being negative and vocalizing my inner Rory, but fuck Chas your profile/book cover pic is one if the douchiest photos I’ve seen and you put it on the cover of your book!
rule number one of staying relevant as a business is keeping your talent. looking forward to reading rory’s account of the breakup on his new site.
Funny how our minds work ay – death, destruction, wrecked lives and blocked roads but our thoughts are always what happened to the waves…
Thank god. I am of the exact opposite opinion than a majority of commenters. I couldn’t stand that dude, or his writing. He had absolutely no imagination, was strung out on benzo’s and/or booze, and he was a straight pervert. Hopefully he went to rehab. However, that won’t help him with being a douche. I bet he had a really hard 6-weeks on the north shore this year. I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost.
Main breaks have changed a little {Seabed has risen about .7-1m} but still early days, really need to see a full range of swell and conditions… The parts of the Coastline that we cant yet access, due to the slips are of the most interest to me as they have risen up to 5.5m!!!!
How about the guy who clearly influenced Rory the most, Big Brother’s Dave Carnie. He probably wouldn’t mention surfing at all but who really wants to read about surfing.
Thanks Wally but I’m more of a one liner type guy, besides after this earthquake fucked my hometown I’m now far to busy profiteering off others misery and misfortune…
Rory was/is fucking awesome. Huge fan.
What kind of shit show are you running here, Smith?
And if the new guy is Jake Mc fucking goat face I will never click on this site again. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Unquestionably the most entertaining work that has appeared here has come from Rory. It’s your loss. And it’s unsurprising considering your playground bully tactics over the Cori podcast.
I’m a fan of Rorys podcast, but You gotta admit the Cori podcast was more inertia than Grit.
I thought that whole thing was played pretty well with good humour from both sides…..Rory was really cut up over it?
I haven’t spoken to Rory, Chas or Dell about this saga… and I love how previous BeachGrit spats between Chas and Derek have played out openly and honestly, even shared with the readership base. But I did see a very angry and pointed deleted post from Mrs Parker in regards to the Cori podcast…
Some of it seemed to cross the boundaries between humour and personal attack in my opinion.
Sometimes I like bacon and black pudding for breakfast, sometimes I like Eggs Benedict, sometimes I just want a plain old bowl of cereal, and sometimes I’m so fucked that I don’t know whether it’s breakfast or New Year.
To be honest I always found his stuff awkward and self indulgent and a touch boring… He kinda lived the life he wanted through writing while whinging and moaning about shit. All that shit with his missus was kinda embarrassing and apart from the first paragraph there was much about surfing. He just came across as a wanna be writer trapped on a bitchy surf website. I wish him well and hopes he finds an ear to his voice.
What could be awkward, self-indulgent and boring about publicly musing that you are thinking of getting a kit to make a dildo replica of your cock to give to your wife, but probably won’t because you are 100% sure that it will end up in your own ass and your wife will then drunkenly brag about it at a dinner party?
All I think about is surfing…but all I have is a deep loathing depression about surfing…Not being accepted by the community, not being on the inside, not wanting to be on the inside…Anyways I will throw my hat in the ring.
So much further from profitability in one, two, three
I love you, Rory. We are sorry. There. I wrote it!
ps. Chas is a wanker (did that help?)
For fuck sake!!! My favorite surf writer and podcast host gone!?! And with no answers as to why?
Why is he no longer with us?
Believe it or not, I had an app developer try to tell the old blokes to get that shit fixed months ago…
It’s true! And that’s what kind of shit show we’re running here!
But that’s why we love it…although my heart is empty without Rory…
Are you telling me the man who coined “bi-curious backpackers” has left the building?
how about “born again, off again” ?
Don’t forget “crotch fruit”
I’ll miss Rory – he was good, maybe even the next Jake Tellcamp.
awesome…….
Alas, no one can be the next Rory Parker, and the possible replacements are going to be ripped to pieces by the readers. As long as this isn’t some awkward Y tu Mama Tambien thing, surely he could come back?