And he is right! The low hanging fruit don't taste so sweet!
Kelly Slater is one of our favorite subjects. We have had his name in the title lock so often that a cursory Google of BeachGrit delivers a veritable treasure! Who could ever forget such classics as:
Opinion: The terrible legacy of Kelly Slater!
Kelly Slater: World’s worst pitch man!
Blood Feud: Kelly Slater vs. Decorum!
and
Just in: Kelly Slater swings at “next level dipshits!”
The man is our joy. And it my seem like we joke lots and lots because we do joke lots and lots but it is always with a hefty amount of goodwill. Public figures like Kelly Slater are wildly rare. Exceedingly rare. Scrutiny and trolls have rendered most to button their lips entirely. But Kelly keeps offering his thoughts, his feelings, his opinions and he keeps taking pokes for them.
Like when he Instagram commented on Jeremy Flores feed that the sharks of Reunion should be culled. It was a nuanced take on a very serious problem. Of course Kelly doesn’t wish for the death of sharks across the board but he recognized that a particular imbalance exists on the French isle.
But then our own dear Michael Ciaramella jumped in poking Kelly in the eye. I read his story and winced slightly. We tap dance here we try not to stomp and Michael’s bit of irony dripping with sarcasm was… heavy footed.
Kelly’s commented on our Instagram, graciously, “Tricky, touchy subject. But Reunion appears to be an anomaly when you consider attack rates across the globe. And of course @beach_grit would be the first to grab the low hanging fruit instead of consider(ing) the (emotional) context.”
Ooooh I winced again but this time fully. He is completely right. Nuance is slipping away in our increasingly polarized world. We should be encouraging non black and white responses to problems with our dance, not pushing readers, or Kelly Slater, into an either/or proposition.
And so for the second time in BeachGrit‘s wonderful history I’ll stand up and shout, “We were wrong!”
Long live nuance!
Fuck kelly slater. There. I said it. I grivel to noone. Except michael. I heart michael. Let us writhe in low hang fruit.
How can you go beyond black and white. I thought you loved former!? Hypocritical!
As far as reunion island go’s a reduction in the bull shark population is probably in the local surfers best interests. Don’t like that thought process? Too fucken bad..
unless you live on reunion your opinion don’t mean a thing. They know they have an influx of bull sharks in the area so why not thin the numbers? Bull sharks are a long way from Becoming extinct.
Put yourself in their shoes an imagine you were told you can’t surf your local spot.
‘cue’ Eco justice warriors telling me an whoever else that somewhat agrees with this idea to fuck off
Do you live in reunion with Kelly? Well if not then according to your own rules your opinion doesn’t mean a thing!
It’s been a trial by fire for poor Mike! Has a online surf journalist ever copped more shit on debut?
It’s BitchGrit, everyone knows that, even Kelly. Bitch slapping is an art perfected here.
Well let’s look at this low hanging fruit, and what low lying fruit it is. “Honestly, I won’t be popular for saying this but there needs to be a serious cull on Reunion and it should happen every day. There is a clear imbalance happening in the ocean there. If the whole world had these rates of attack nobody would use the ocean and literally millions of people would be dying like this. The French govt needs to figure this out asap. 20 attacks since 2011!?”
So nobody would be using the ocean and yet millions of people would be dying! Such bullshit, such utter bullshit! There needs to be a serious cull, and it has to happen every day! Right on! He has a soapbox and if he wants to use it, fair enough, but if he gets pelted occasionally by low hanging fruit, well he has only himself to blame if he has been spouting bullshit like the above. Kelly is usually thoughtful but in this instance he deserves a pelting of rotten fruit!
oh yes you are popular Kelly , and your concern for millions of customers world wide is a very endearing quality ,and we understand that being pelted by low lying fruit is a vey demeaning possibility ,just not OK , sorta like fake news?
In the last 6 years 8 people have died out of 21 shark attacks in Reunion despite most surfing population leaving island, surfing bans and a very fearful population. I can only imagine how many fatalities if water activities (surf/bb/diving/swimming/etc) carried on unrestricted…
If you apply that ratio of #deaths/#population to the rest of the world you’d get 7+ million deaths worldwide considering surfing/aquatic sports were banned for the last years as per Reunion.
Would you still be saying such utter bullshit?
PS. Methinks Kelly is a bit better at maths than most of you… (please insert proper impropriety – pun intended)
Sorry to get all inertia on this but taking the population of reunion as 843,617 (Wikipedia), world population 7,400,000,000 (Wikipedia) and 21 attacks: 21/843,617 X 7,400,000,000 = 184,206 attacks worldwide. Using the same principles on the 8 deaths, there would be 70,174 deaths worldwide, over a six year period – not literally millions, not even close! Maybe you could supply us with the imaginary numbers you used to calculate 7 million?
You just went full Inertia!
I know (hangs head in shame)
Beach Grit…sacrificing low-level writers to the Internet since 2016.
Are you going to take that post down like you did his two about Robbie Maddison? Who would have thought ol’ Mikey Ciambivalent would be the “edgy” one here?
The Maddo thing……….. ugh.
A highlight of my week – up there with the incarceration of Ventura’s finest!
Do tell!
Oh come on! You can’t leave us hanging on this one! Big corpo lawyers shut that down?
I think Derek has interview coming up soon!
Whatever happened with that’ rich prick’ on the motorcycle and Gary Linden?
To admit fault is against all things grit! Is it not your role as surf journo(blog) to provoke by any means possible and are we not all better for it?! Born and bred Sl8er fan but even the King is due for a reprimand/jab occasionally. Few beers at lunch but it’s Friday!
Oh I so love jabbing Kelly! But in this particular case he is very right and we stand corrected! Or at least I, on behalf of our dear BeachGrit, stand corrected.
But, what exactly are you apologizing for? Michael Chinanaramma used quotes from the King himself’s mouth/keyboard/Samsung Galaxy. Methinks Kelly doesn’t really know what the term “low-hanging fruit” actually means.
Alas I must beg to differ. Methinks he used it most insightfully.
Kelly? Excuse me – Mr. Slater? I lay prostrate at your feet! Now I apologize!
No. The super sarcastic tone. Unnecessary!
This situation requires a blood sacrifice.
Click bait shark bait race bait masturbate