Was John mauled by a rogue emu?

Watch: “Is the WSL a Buncha Babies?”

Jack Robbo says yes!

I’ve still not calibrated the full significance of this moment, but something tells me JJF’s 2017 performance at Margies will be remembered long after the WSL has been replaced by the Bud Lite Lime International SUP Tour.

John’s rail-to rail approach was more meaningful than any number of tens at North Point or the Box could ever be. It was the best maneuvering of a surfboard we’ve witnessed to date.

But do you know what Finals Day’s second-biggest story was? The infamous “Shark Scare” — because apparently that’s what we’re calling bait balls now.

Given the circumstances, postponing the Filipe/Kolohe was the right call. They had only one more heat to run, so taking a twenty-minute breather while the sea life dispersed had no real impact on the day. But the way they all talked about it was so…

They were being a bunch’a babies!

No one even “saw” a shark besides Kolohe, who said: “I was scared for sure. I didn’t see a huge shark but I think I saw a little shark.” I think I saw a little shark, he said.

That is exactly what someone who didn’t see a damn thing would say.

“Lotta sharks in our heat,” continued Filipe. “They came up to play a little bit. I was bleeding, and all the shark was like [wild hand movements].”

Filipe, son… most sharks are fish (what is a whale shark again?), but not all fish are sharks. I’ll take it easy on the guy though, he did well to punch out of his weight class. As did Kolohe. And Freestone.

Then John, bless his prodigal heart. The kid jumped off a wave at the worst possible moment and slammed into a reefy partition, resulting in a little blood and a lotta lump. But did you see how they wrapped that thing pre-final? Looks like some type of suicide-bomber splint. Probably just ice and bandages, but these WSL docs aren’t messing around!

At least John was having a little fun with the shark hysteria. “I told Jack [Freestone] I was chumming the water for him,” he said, while eating a pre-final pear.

The voice of reason came in the form of teenage wonderkid (who, to be fair, didn’t have to surf this day) Jack Robbo. “It’s probably a Wobbegong they saw,” he told Peter King with a face of stone. “There’s nothing to be freaked out about — not this time of year. There is when the cold water moves up and they follow the whales, but it’s just small Bronze Whalers [today].”

All of this and more in the latest #TourNotes!

#TourNotes: Shark Scare & Injuries in the Final Day at Margaret River
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Shark week is every week
Shark week is every week
9 years ago

I got the figures directly from a Departmental database not publically available (cos I work for Fisheries) but there is an article titled “shark sightings triple off WA coast but detection gaps remain at attack sites” that goes into lots of the details… good to see you researching.

Shark week is every week
Shark week is every week
9 years ago

Are you joking? Mate just concede you were dead wrong. There
have actually been more great white sightings in Margs region this month than
in Esperance. The number of actual TAGGED great whites setting off tagging sensors in margs region has doubled since this time last year. That aint anecdotal its scientific. But if you want anecdotal mymate was chased outta the water by a great white 2 weeks ago near Yals; another mate saw one at injis the week before and there have been PLENTY of other confirmed great white sightings in the MARGS region over the past month. The leuwin current doesn’t have anything
to do with it. The sharks are here because salmon numbers are through the roof this year (one of the best catch years for local fishers on record!!) you clearly don’t know what you are talking about. If you want to have informed opinions then maybe research before you make stupid comments – that goes for you, Jack robbo and Michael C.

Shark week is every week
Shark week is every week
9 years ago

Well this comment was fucking wrong wasnt it????

Regional colloquialism
Regional colloquialism
9 years ago

A pear? Who tha fuck eats a pear?

Shark week is every week
Shark week is every week
9 years ago

Jack Robbo is smoking crack! there are great white sightings down here every week. It doesn’t matter what bloody month or season. I wouldn’t be taking the risk. That’s just a normal part of surfing in South West ya gotta leave the water when there is too much “activity” whether you see a shark or not. It’s not being a pussy its simple risk mitigation in a surf zone that’s seen half a dozen guys eaten alive in the last decade.

nyc surfing golden boy
nyc surfing golden boy
9 years ago

yes, they are all giant pussies. even the toughest guy, mical “spartan” bourez isnt much of a spartan

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Yeah sure jjf might not be scared of sharks, but how come nobody has commented on him using a bag of chia seeds to ward of reef elbow?

bitter guy
bitter guy
9 years ago

JJF to sharks: cash me outside. howbow dah?

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
9 years ago

Dear John John stay golden and will be a fan for longer a jiffy..

Superworm
Superworm
9 years ago

“.. most sharks are fish”.
You sure about that? I’m no expert, but…….

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
9 years ago

Jack Freestone. Those EYES! Right!? Swooooooooooooon.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
9 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

Everyone else is jealous of Jack because he gets to stare in Alana’s vacant eyes, but we know it should be the other way around, don’t we?

A-rock Newman
A-rock Newman
9 years ago

Another shithouse article from this Derrick.

Samuel Hall
Samuel Hall
9 years ago
Reply to  A-rock Newman

Another shithouse comment from you

A-rock Newman
A-rock Newman
9 years ago
Reply to  Samuel Hall

Ooohhhhh zing

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
9 years ago
Reply to  A-rock Newman

A-rock, my friend, let’s settle this feud with a game fate.

Go ahead and flip a coin. Heads I stay, tails you go.

I trust you’ll tell the truth.

A-rock Newman
A-rock Newman
9 years ago

Heads. To repay your trust in my truth-telling I will level that I used a coin with heads on both sides.


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