Shark Hysteria Fools Chas Smith!

Internet sleuths determine truth from finction!

Do you recall, four days ago, when Chas Smith wrote about LA’s latest “shark attack survivor”, Sophia Raab?  A young woman who now responds to the name Shark Bite?

Well, yeah… she was lying. Or brainwashed by social phenomena. I think. Let’s watch and find out:

Did you catch all that?

The tumble in the suds? The Great White attack in one foot of water? The fact that, during the clip, it shows a picture of her busted out fin?

It’s quite clear what happened here.

Kook is made aware of shark epidemic in SoCal, decides to surf anyway (for the love of it). Paddles in from her session, because there must not be another wave coming ever, and gets picked up by some whitewater near the shore. Tries to stand up but puts a little too much weight on the starboard rail, resulting in a raucous tumble. Is struck by fin while underwater, comes up, sees gash, mind goes directly to shark.

Even a shark expert agrees that Sophia’s wound doesn’t correlate with shark jaws.

“The injury does not appear to be the result of a shark attack,” Ralph Collier, President of the Shark Research Committee, told Surfline. “One of the skegs on her board is missing, the lifeguards said it looked like her board cut her leg and I must concur with their assessment. First, juvenile white sharks cannot produce a wound 4 inches deep as described by the physician. Also, the wound forms a right angle, 90 degrees, a shark’s upper and lower jaws are crescent shaped and would not produce the would we see in the photograph.”

In all fairness, I don’t think Shark Bite was purposefully lying. Rather, shark hysteria led Sophia to a sensationalist conclusion and a landlubbing doctor confirmed her fantasy. Once the gal changed her Instagram to @shark_bite_sophia, it was too late to amend her tale. Soph’s gotta carry this one to her grave.

This is much like Chas Smith with his shark hysteria propagation. Like Mick Fanning with his “behind-the-wave” shark punch. They’re not bad people — just misspoke in the heat of the moment!

Also, some people are irate that Sophia is using GoFundMe to support her medical bills, just because she sold the world a lie. While I understand the sentiment, I’m not sure I agree with the logic.

The girl suffered a gruesome injury regardless of its cause. Why should she only receive donations if attacked by a prehistoric beast? Are FCS1 users not a legitimate cause for charity?

Editor’s note: I have an identical (albeit smaller) scar on my right leg from the exact incident Sophia described. I always assumed it was my fin that caused the laceration. 

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Otto
Otto
9 years ago

Best break-up story ever!

Otto
Otto
9 years ago
janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago

I think it’s a hair stuck in the adhesive of the dressing. “waiter, there’s a hair in my wound!” etc etc

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago

You called it first.

ox-head
ox-head
9 years ago

how long are we going to pretend that fins are an endangered species? how long will we continue to value the lives of fins over the safety of our own children? we need to cull the fins and start riding nothing but alaias, sponges, and twelve-channel-bottom contraptions

?uzzled
?uzzled
9 years ago

I would like to peel that tape off.

dudebeach
dudebeach
9 years ago

I said this on the last thread but my ex-girlfriend took a fin to the thigh, and her scar looks basically the same as the picture posted, just a little smaller. When she tells the story she talks about how the fat was busting out and the doctors said she was lucky to have a wetsuit on or she may have bled out.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
9 years ago

I too suffered pretty much this exact injury to my right calf muscle in 1996. Can I now set up a retrospective GoFundMe page? It might help me deal with the long term emotional trauma

Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
9 years ago

@shark_bite_sophia sounds like the name of a Garbage Pail Kid.

Bertleman
Bertleman
9 years ago
Reply to  Goodbye Horses

Slipped_Disc_Slater

Ricoimmo
Ricoimmo
9 years ago

there was no need to consult a shark expert — the original article quoted no one who witnessed the attack or saw a shark. what are the odds of that at a kookfest zoo like sunset (LA)? probably 80 percent of those idiots surf with go-pros on the front of their soft-tops — had there been a shark, no way it escapes surveillance cams

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago

Dear MC, ha!

When I ruined my backside tube riding career by attempting to pig-dog a 2′ closeout section one fine Saturday evening, (momentarily under the lip with some forward momentum, board flipped and fin piercing thigh). My injury was similar to SBSophia, albeit only worthy of 7 stitches*. While I was reasonably certain that a finned fiend was not responsible, I was developing an early form of post-truth, so at the party I attended later, I may have taken advantage of the circumstances.

Leg wrapped in bandage, boardshorts (possibly Tom Carrol inspired, tight, scalloped leg style), slightly bloodied, I hopped into the living room, plonked down on chair and regaled the assembled with my tale. Youth of today who don’t understand the pre-social media era, probably won’t believe how easy it was to get away with such shenanigans. Anyhow, I got beer brought to me all night and went home with a pleasantly nubile, if not slightly too trusting young lady.

*The doctor in the (free and in your face) Gold Coast hospital was somewhat ambivalent towards surfers. As a result, when he used a scalpel to elongate the 3cm gaping hole into an 8cm on, he only used enough local anaesthetic to numb 2cm of slicing. The other 3cm was felt deeply and completely.

hunter biden pipe master
hunter biden pipe master
9 years ago

i used to love her

hunter biden pipe master
hunter biden pipe master
9 years ago

she violated our trust

janeausten
janeausten
9 years ago

You would’ve regretted it so quickly. She’s a bunny boiler fer sher. Histrionic personality Disorder, maybe.

Michael Ciaramella
Michael Ciaramella
9 years ago

The way she said though.. so assured, so blissfully unaware of her unforgivable sin.

Jerz
Jerz
9 years ago

“If I got bit once, I mean what are the odds I’m going to get bit again?” Oh boy…

huma's tears
huma's tears
9 years ago

Doc, I’ve just been called out by Beach Grit, can you please just Caitlyn Jenner the fuck out of this 90 degree angle and give me a proper crescent shark bite?

Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
9 years ago

Hospital paper work: How do you self identify your injury?

huma's tears
huma's tears
9 years ago
Reply to  Goodbye Horses

Truthfully, nurse, I didn’t just stick it up there, I enabled an orifcially curious hamster to realize its life journey.

seriously
seriously
9 years ago
Reply to  huma's tears

Million to one shot doc, million to one…

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
9 years ago
Reply to  seriously

Patient: “I slipped in the garden and it went straight up there.”
Doctor: “Carrots grow upside down in your garden?”

Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
9 years ago

“The shark put it in there Dr., please let me finish setting up this gofundme before the anesthesia.”

Wardo's PO
Wardo's PO
9 years ago

Seems to me the anger is a bit misplaced, as GoFundMe is the American healthcare system at this point.

huma's tears
huma's tears
9 years ago

“Misspoke”: saving politicians from the consequences of their lies since Geoffrey Chaucer.

huma's tears
huma's tears
9 years ago

What? Fanning didn’t punch? I was under the impression it was the invisible punch and not the jet ski that saved him. Dammit! I gave a thousand bucks to his Go Fund Me based on his courage.

Lance Carson
Lance Carson
9 years ago

Shoots, from the KTLA interview , I initially thought the shark had punched her in the face.


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