A "Choose your own Adventure!"
And when you were a scummy little ten-year-old did you, like me, sit in your school’s library and pour over the Choose Your Own Adventure books? Oh I loved them! I loved them so much!
For those who have never heard of the series, each page of the book ended with a choice and a different page in which to turn to for that choice to play out. The goal was to get to the end in some sort of victorious fashion. I would always end in a dungeon, or stranded, or with a broken arm. But then I would flip back and correct my course and eventually end in some sort of victorious fashion!
In any case, I never read a surf Choose Your Own Adventure so I decided to write one. Note your preference (A) or (B) in the comments and the most popular will take the day. Are you ready? Let’s begin…
You are asleep, snuggled deep into the folds of a Kelly Slater organic tide striped duvet that your mom bought on half-price special at Pottery Barn Teen. You were hyped at the time but a little bummed later when you Instagrammed yourself doing homework on your bed and the cute girl from geometry @luuucie.m commented “Ahhhhhhh your sisters room is super cute!!!”
A fan spins languidly above your head and the retro digital clock on your nightstand, next to a vase of flowers your mom put there, reads 5:30 A.M. but you have no clue because you are happily dreaming about Katie Perry’s boobies.
Posters featuring your favorite pro surfers Brett Simpson and John John Florence hang neatly on your walls. Your surfboard, a newer 5’4” Mayhem Scorcher, rests in the corner freshly waxed. It is what Kolohe Andino rides and you saw him, once, surfing T Street in San Clemente.
Suddenly, your door flies open and bangs the wall, jolting you awake. You rub your eyes and see your dad standing there he is…
a) A nice Newport Beach plastic surgeon
b) Mitchie Rollins.