In case you missed it, Yago dora received a
wildcard into the 2017 Oi Rio Pro by way of the trials. He
lost round one to JJF, but only by a fraction a point. Yago
also had the second-highest wave score in the opening day of
competition.
How, you ask? With surfing like this.
And dammit, you’d be hard-pressed not to put this kid in your
top-10 surfers. Good in the tube, getting better on rail and the
airs? Few do them better or with more style. Also, from what I’ve
heard, he’s also a really cool kid.
In round two Yago will come up against Kolohe Andino, and what a
fun battle that will be! Kolohe used to be like Yago — the young
prodigy, aerial master — but in recent years he’s settled into the
consummate competitor role, which equates to lots of early nights
and half-laybacks for sevens.
Meanwhile Yago remains the free and fruity punter,
simply excited to take on the world’s best in his homeland.
He’s more naturally talented than Kolohe, but Andino retains the
upper-hand competitively. So, who ya got?
I’m a sucker for shake-ups, so give me Yago!
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This isn't what it looks like!
Just in: Kelly Pulls out of Brazil!
By Michael Ciaramella
Cites back pain!
Aaaand it’s official. Kelly has pulled out of
Brazil. This isn’t surprising, but it should be.
Why? Because of continuity. Or… Continuance. Yeah
that’s it.
You remember the fifteen-minute
doco that KS Wave co., Outerknown, Firewire, and Nair
For Men released last week? The one that detailed Kelly’s mediocre
run through the Oz events and all the fun stuff in between? Here’s
how it ended:
Coming out of Australia, Kelly is in a challenging
position.
But that’s what continuance is all about: the perseverance
and commitment between where we are and where we want to
be…
So yeah, that sold me. Kelly would fulfill his obligation 2017
commitment and attend his least-fav event on tour — if not to
achieve his goal, then for Continuity‘s sake.
But the back pain! WSL reports:
Unfortunately, 11x World Champion Kelly Slater has withdrawn
from the event due to back issues. “I have been working through
some injuries the past several seasons and, unfortunately, I need
to take some time off to mend my body,” Slater said. “I won’t be in
Rio and I don’t know how long I’ll need. My lower back has been in
constant pain for the last three years and although I’ve been able
to fight through it with short stints of rehab, it hasn’t fixed the
problem. If I don’t do this now, at some point, I’ll ruin my body.
I’m spending the next five weeks rehabilitating with WSL Doctors in
Australia and we’ll see how I feel after that. I’m hopeful that I
will be in top form again this season at some point. Thanks
everyone for the support.”
I don’t doubt Kelly’s got back pain, not at all. But would he
use it as an excuse to pull out of Cloudbreak, one day in advance,
if the forecast was solid? Probs not.
Oh and… his five weeks of rehab ends on the starting date of the
Fiji waiting period. Coincidence? Kelly Slater doesn’t know
the word!
That said, I can’t blame him for not going to Brazil. Best of
luck in his recovery and hopefully we’ll see a happy, healthy
Slater come Fiji — one of the few places where he remains
über-relevant.
While Kelly didn’t pose much of a threat in Saquarema, his
absence creates jubilation in one lucky boy! Kelly will
be replaced by Bino Lopes, the local kid who ‘ooped his way
past Wilko last year.
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London's father has sinned, but like all good priests
we forgive*! (*for a small fee)
Grom Abuse: London’s Dad Apologizes!
By Michael Ciaramella
Surf community promotes parental reform!
If you’ve been following the grom abuse saga,
you’ll know my main stance was that London’s parents, not London
himself, were most culpable for the teenager’s petulant behavior.
That if there absolutely must be a target for your middle-age rage,
please direct it toward Mr. and Mrs. Almida.
It comes down to my belief that kids should never be hit or
socially condemned by adults, especially if those adults aren’t the
kid’s own parents. It’s not just a moral thing, it’s a law — and
for good reason. Although kids should learn to take responsibility
for their actions, it’s also the responsibility of the parents to
teach them right from wrong in the first place.
But that responsibility doesn’t transfer to a
stranger’s fist just because he feels the parents
have done a poor job.
Today, London’s father Chris Almida released a statement via
Ian Cairn’s
Facebook (Ian is London’s surf coach). It went as
follows:
The incident at Salt Creek last week involving my family has
brought many issues to the surface both positive and negative and I
have decided that there is nothing to be gained for anyone by
further action on my part and as such I have no intention to pursue
any legal recourse. While I respectfully disagree with the idea
that bullying is ever
justified or that violence is merited as a response to “disrespect”
or misbehavior, I can appreciate that others have a different view.
It has been very hard to hear this negative feedback and I have run
through the gamut of responses from defensive to anger to righteous
indignation and finally to resolution that this must be made
right.
One bit of feedback that has rung true is that I need to
take a deep look in the mirror and see what part I am playing in
the creation of this dynamic. In looking deeply at what I have role
modeled I can see the many ways that I have been selfish,
aggressive, entitled and easily offended. While I tend to exhibit
these traits in a passive aggressive manner they are none the less
what I have unwittingly role modeled to my son. This behavior has
set my wife into a mode of protection within our family that has
been expressed outwardly when the same dynamic plays out in the
wider world. For my part I do apologize – first to my family, to my
friends and peers and to the surf community as a whole. My lack of
acknowledgement and ownership of this behavior has ultimately
created this situation and the blame lies squarely with me. I will
continue to dive into the root of these issues and work to unravel
this behavior and do better for my sons, wife and all.
In respect to London, he has as you may imagine, had to face
some serious introspection and participate in some very difficult
conversations. He has had to take ownership of how others have
experienced him both positively and negatively. London is a good
kid with no negative intentions and he will be working hard to show
this by his actions and engagement with others.
In peace and aloha and with hope for a new beginning for all
involved I offer my apology.”
Chris Almida
And… wonderful! Dad realizes his shortcomings as a human and how
they’ve trickled down to wife, son, and lineups across
SoCal.
Owns up to it, vows to improve.
A win, yes? Not if you’re Koby Abberton. He screams:
DUNK THE FUK OUTTA CHEEKY LITTLE CUNTS. ITS SURFING. I KNOW
I GOT DUNKED AND SLAPPED AND I DESERVED IT EVERY TIME. YOUR COUNTRY
CAN BOMB ANYONE THEY WANT BUT DONT DARE DUNK A KID NEEDING A
LESSON. MAN UP AND STAND BY YOUR ACTIONS.
Caps lock: the font of kid-dunkers everywhere.
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Here, Christian Fletcher, right, and the patron saint
of young surfers everywhere, Mr John John Florence.
Audio: Christian Fletcher V BeachGrit!
By Michael Ciaramella
Christian Fletcher debates with Michael
Ciaramella!
To read the lead up to this heated debate, click
here!
So there I was, sitting in the middle of Pepi’s
Sports Bar in Capo Beach, CA, with the entire crowd looking at
me.
They were ready to witness a slaughtering. My slaughtering.
At the hands of their beloved, if slightly psychotic hometown
hero, Christian Fletcher.
Christian didn’t like some things I wrote about
him.In fact he thought that journalists, or “mag
fags” as he calls them, were by in large pussies. That we took
things out of context and avoided interaction with our very
subjects. That we sensationalized and opined on topics which we
didn’t fully understand.
He’s not wrong.
And it was my time to pay for these sins, via a
presidential-style-debate about grom abuse, in front of his home
crowd. His friends and family. A constituency loyal to the point of
tattooing Christian’s namesake on their half-shaven domes.
Does Slater even have that?
A post shared by Christian Fletcher (@christianfletcherlives) on
I was Bernie Sanders at a Trump rally. A non-Herbie longboarder
at Lowers. My destruction was not just expected, but a foregone
conclusion. Still, I had to hold my ground.
Christian took a seat beside me and grabbed the mic. The
rest is history.
I’ll let you decide for yourselves how the debate went, but
I have something to say about how it ended.
Christian threw out a few baseless insults (You’re fucking
retarded, You aren’t even a fucking American), after which I
was pulled from my seat by Christian’s bouncers.
These guys didn’t even work at the bar, they were just there “in
case you get a little lippy” (Christian’s words). The crowd cheered
wildly as I was yanked from center stage.
While being helped out the door, one of Christian’s boys stopped
to tell me something.
“Don’t worry man,” he said. “It’s all part of the show.”
That made me feel a little better.
After being removed, I went for a walk around the block to
consider the night’s events. Once I’d pieced it all together
and realized it wasn’t just a weird dream, that
everything I’ve written did in fact take place, a tremendous
laugh came over me.
Then I called Christian to see if he’d like a goodnight
kiss. In reflection I realized he had been, mostly, a gracious
and welcoming host. Sadly there was no answer.
Before driving off, I sent him a text. “Thanks for the wonderful
evening,” it said. “Hope to see you soon!” He didn’t respond
to that one either.
I’m still not sure if Christian Fletcher hates my guts, or if
this entire operation was his idea of fun. Of boyish
camaraderie. Of testing my limits…
Either way, we’ll always have Pepi’s.
Editor’s note: if anyone was at Pepi’s that evening or knows
someone with pictures or video of the event (especially JP Van
Swae), please send them our way!
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Can't you just smell the chlorine and piss? | Photo:
Wavegarden
Watch: Wavegarden Made a Toob!
By Michael Ciaramella
Toob for you, toob for me!
Wavepools, they’re everywhere.
It’s honestly hard to keep track of all the different sites and
techs available today. Whether or not they’re functional, whether
they look fun to ride.
The most recent uptake in wave pools started with Wavegarden’s
Snowdonia a few years back. It was a small, long, rippable
right-and-left-hander, depending upon which side of the median
you’d chosen. Albee Layer won a contest there but then I think it
shut down due to mechanical issues.
Then came Kelly’s pool. It was leagues better than anything we’d
ever seen, maybe even believed possible. Head high-ish and with the
possibility of a 20+ second barrel. So how would Wavegarden
respond? Most importantly, would they be able to make a human-sized
toob?
Well, a year-and-a-half later, they finally dropped this:
The trailer above looks at Wavegarden’s newest tech — something
they call “The Cove”. The full release will happen in a few days,
but let’s talk about what we’ve learned from the teaser.
The water: it looks like the same
combination of water, chlorine and piss that you’d find at the
local water park. I’m not entirely sure why, but to me this is a
turn off. I’ll take Slater’s chocolate pits over this blatant
falsity any day.
The surfer: Who the fuck is that? I mean, he
can surf, but how hard could it be to get a recognizable face
behind your product? You only get one chance at a first impression,
and I’d consider this one blown. Imagine if it were John John! Oh
Kelly, he’d’a been livid.
The wave: It’s honestly tough to tell. When we
first saw Kelly’s wave, it was from a “beach” angle, which told us
everything we needed to know about size, shape, and length. This
clip is mostly water shots of chest high tubes and turns, so it’s
hard to call. Something tells me it’s a little smaller and not
quite as perfect as Kelly’s joint. Still looks hell fun.
The upside: according to Wavegarden, The Cove
can produce 1,000 waves in an hour. This shatters Slater’s pool and
creates a truly profitable business platform. Also they can
apparently make rights and lefts, plus control wave shape. Pretty
revolutionary stuff going on over there.
P.S. Kelly and Wavegarden: I’m free whenever to test both
waves and give an honest review! You know, for the people.
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros
