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Sketch of what might appear on The Inertia over the weekend.
Sketch of what might appear on The Inertia over the weekend.

Rumor: Inertia to criminalize US Open!

Mountain blog allegedly thinks those who attend event should be locked up!

Venice-adjacent’s favorite safe space is taking its team to Huntington Beach this weekend for the grand finale of the U.S. Open of Surfing. Of course The Inertia’s gluten free bread n coconut butter is yoga n exposing those who harm animals but the alt-left website also allegedly covers surfing. And they are allegedly set to cover the biggest surf event in the whole world by sending a police sketch artist instead of a photographer.

That’s right. A deeply entrenched source told me of Zach Weisberg and co’s plan. The overarching theme will apparently be that those who both attend and participate in the U.S. Open of Surfing, most from California’s inland towns, hard-working, blue collar, salt of the earth, Trump Country folk are criminals. Bad, dirty, criminals. This sort of broad categorization and shaming, race-baiting even, is in line with the mountain climbing blog’s ethos but still shocking to see in such bald form.

Or wait. Maybe the deeply entrenched source told me that The Inertia was going to bring a caricature artist instead of a photographer. That the overarching theme will apparently be those who both attend and participate in the U.S. Open of Surfing, men and women who work with their hands and attend community colleges are clowns. Amusement park clowns there for coastal-adjacent liberal elites to openly mock.

Sad.

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12 Comments
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Les Grossman

You could use all this time you spend softly writing about The Inertia and Stab to actually write something half-way funny to entertain us #myclickspaysyourbillsafterall

NEGATRON

Just how much do you think your clicks pay?

Les Grossman

I’d math around 2,5 cents, so i figure one cent each to blondie and his partner and half a cent to moderators. Makin it rain for you boys!

Carlos Vilar

the biggest crime is yo run such a contest..so painful to watch…watching those guys pushing their boards up and down with their front foot…towards the sand…in 0,01 feet foamy liliput version of a real wave…

cuttiesandfloaters

can’t this sup-yoga blog that you speak of just focus on doxxing joelshihtzu due to his hatred of in-cage male vulnerability instead, or does his anti-alcohol signalling endear him to these shark strokers?

Audit In Progress

So now I have to enjoy the US Open out of spite? Is there anything the inertia cannot ruin?

Chas Smith

exactly.

Eddie Haiku

Do you think your constant loving attention and affectionate comments have given The Inertia a new raison d’être and they have even more almond milk flowing in their veins of late? I so love checking in regularly to see how the other half I despise live.

NUG

The OC Weekly has a US Open coloring book insert. You can design new tattoos and color rioters and make them pretty. It’s their best work.

Chas Smith

Now that is genius…

Dumb Florida Redneck
Litmus and Chill

It’s blank!


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