Man who loves sharks rides on back of the biggest
of them all!
“Can’t we all just get along?”
Rodney King’s clarion call (well, almost
clarion: his jaw was wired shut) has finally reached the Middle
East. While King was referring to us, the dictum rings true for
another pairing:
Shark and man together.
Kelly wants them culled (on Reunion), but maybe he should
consider the approach of Iranian fisherman Rahmat Hosseini. Last
week Hosseini might have just changed the dynamic between people
and sharks.
Erin.michele1: What the hell is wrong with
you?! This is disgusting and horrific. I’m surprised you are
even still alive with your level of stupidity you have.
sandraphalicia: This is ANIMAL ABUSE!!! You
think that it liked the whale shark to have taken it
for a surfboard?
pj.jabines: What IDIOTS would do just to
gain popularity.
VanRees: I haven’t been this sick since
listening to The Surfers “Alone by a Tree” (OK. I
wrote this.)
There were countless other insensitive posts, far too
funny to include, but you get the idea.
Maybe these angry humanists are right. Hosseini’s act is not
courageous, but rather a barbaric expression of our contempt for
nature.
But let’s not be depressive.
What say you? New sport or arrestable offense?
Is petting animals with your feet wrong?
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Is this you, a two-bed villa with gorgeous infinity
pool and an interior that will make you swoon every single damn
time your ten dollar a day butler opens the door? | Photo:
selongselo.com
Come live in colonial splendour on Indonesia's
"Island of 1,000 mosques"!
First the surfers came to Indonesia, then the
tourists, and now the bankers.
(Of course, erudite readers will complain that this is not
completely true. The Portuguese and then the Dutch came, plundered,
enslaved and so on before Sukarno showed ’em the door in 1949.)
But for the sake of modern Indonesia, that’s the lineage.
Let me ask. Are you a habitué of Bali and beyond?
Do you enjoy the terrific deals you can get on a hunk of land
and a modernist villa right there on the beach? It ain’t what it
used to be in Bali, half-a-million bucks used to buy you a palance,
now it’s a villa way off the sand.
The smart money is headed to Lombok, home to Desert Point and
only forty clicks across the Lombok Strait from Bali.
And, today, in the newspaper, The Australian Financial
Review, there is an excellent story that confirms the rise of
the Australian banker in the gentrification, no wait, that came
with the tourists, the wolficiation, of Indonesia’s pretty
islands.
Australians Andrew Corkery and James Nash were typical young
gun investment bankers who liked to work and play hard. They met as
traders in Hong Kong in 2006 and, like so many others their age,
were soon making an annual Bali pilgrimage to surf, relax and drink
Japanese beer far from the madding stock exchange.
“We wanted to invest in Bali but couldn’t make the numbers
work,” Corkery reflects. “Then we went to South Lombok in 2010 for
a surfing trip and it just made sense.”
“Fast forward to May
this year and Sophisticated Traveller is sitting with Corkery and
Nash enjoying Bintang beer, cocktails – an organic lemongrass
mojito in my case – and warm sunsets by the infinity pool of Aura
Bar & Lounge, part of their luxury villa community, Selong Selo
Residences. Despite the perfect surrounds, the complex is still
very much under construction.”
“The project won’t be
completed until 2020, when they hope to have most of the villas
built (their vision is for 58), along with a kids’ club, health
spa, fitness centre and tennis courts.”
“But there’s reason to clink beer necks: four of the villas
have been completed, with many more sold off the plan. Investors
pay $US500,000 ($632,000) on average for a two-bedroom villa
spanning 250 square metres, although they are building villas of up
to seven bedrooms, the largest home being 910 square
metres.”
Can you imagine living out your days in splendour, the lord of
the manor, while little brown men and women scuttle back and forth
with your citrus-y cocktails, you admiring how they keep those
uniforms so white?
Oh I could!
And do you think the people of this island of four million
muslims, promoted by the Indonesian government as a sharia paradise
and where hotels have signs pointing to Mecca, korans in the rooms,
MTV is banned, unmarried couples are turned away etc, are thrilled
when hunks of their ancestral land is cut off to be filled with
“exclusive communities”?
I think, yes!
The Balinese are still smiling and they sold everything!
The U.S. Open at Huntington Beach must be one
of God’s favorite professional surf events on His earth. It seems
that better than usual surf has pulsed in right before the
beginning of the contest window for the last few years creating a
buzz of excitement amongst the rebellious pre-teens with their
Sharpie’d “Insert Here” and “Do Me In The Butt” skin slogans.
And yesterday Hurricane Methuselah filled in around the pier
while some of the best surfers in the world slashed and soared.
Stand-outs included French surfers Marine Le Pen, Maud Le Car
and Pauline Ado. A new super rivalry also seems to be forming
between Ventura’s Sage Erickson and Santa Barbara’s Courtney
Conologue. The two faced each other in the finals of just concluded
Oceanside Pro with Conologue taking the win. Sage bashed her to the
losers round at Huntington, though, and I like this rivalry because
I would like to see Ventura and Santa Barbara go to war.
Lakey Peterson knew how close she was to the Huntington
Beach Pier and hoped to make her way through the concrete pier
pilings after giving a big hack on a wave.
But the strong waves and current pushed her into the
barnacle-covered piling, and her leash wrapped around it. The
delicate dance surfers have been doing with the pier the past few
days went the wrong way for Peterson, who found herself held
underwater by the ocean’s strength.
“Within two seconds, my back hit the piling, my leash
wrapped around it,” the Santa Barbara surfer said. “I couldn’t get
to the surface, (because) right around the pylons there’s a lot of
water pushing around.”
Peterson was able to untangle her leash and was unharmed,
but the moment added drama Tuesday as the women’s heats began at
the U.S. Open of Surfing, a World Tour stop for the top 17 women
battling for a world title in 4- to 5-foot surf. She wasn’t the
only one who had to see medics after a pier encounter. Brazil’s
Bino Lopes exited the water with blood on his face and arm and the
nose of his board smashed during the middle of his heat after
hitting a pylon.
It is a wonder this, too,
doesn’t happen more often. Not in professional surfing events, of
course, very few are held near piers, but just in general. I marvel
when surfers shoot the pier. I’ve attempted a few times and made
once but so scary while it is happening. So many variables for
which to account. Like, wave speed, piling distance, piling
spacing, Laird Hamilton, Laird Hamilton’s paddle.
Do you remember when he rode a bomb through the Malibu pier on a
SUP? The Malibu pier is much less intimidating than the Huntington
Beach pier partially because there are far fewer pilings and
partially because they are wood.
Still impressive.
But have you ever smashed a pier piling or are you adept at
shooting?
Did you arrive at surfing late? Do you eat up
ridicule?
How did I miss this film? Did you see it when
it first appeared eight years ago?
Oh it cuts the meat right off the bone.
The Surfer was made by Dominic Coleman, funded by
the British government, and was inspired by “a chance conversation
I had with a really funny guy at a beach in South Devon in UK. He
was a SUPer,” DC told Liquid Salt
magazine.
The story is good.
“He and his wife were carrying his massive paddle board across
the car park to his brand new VW T5 van with all the flash wheels,
tinted windows, and body kit. I asked him if he’d had a good surf
and he launched into a monologue about how his surf had been. His
wife and daughter then attempted to carry his board to the van
whilst he stood chatting to me. He also told his daughter who was
about eight to mind that she didn’t damage the board which I
thought was hilarious… He struck me as being one of the new breed
of surfers in the UK where suddenly you get someone not
traditionally associated with the activity really getting into it,
spending thousands of pounds on it and becoming an expert on it.
We’re all like it to an extent.”
DC adds, “I am painfully aware that the irony of this film is
its really close to me. I live in London, I’m a middle-aged,
middle-class bloke who’s got into surfing really late.”
As an aside, what does middle-class have to do with a man’s
ability in the water? If you are poor, or very rich, can your
idiocies be excused?
Do you think, if he was interviewed now, DC would’ve added the
helpful epithets “white” and “straight”?
And, tell me, do you recognise anyone you know in The
Surfer?
But watch here! It’s good.
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It's a revolution! You'll never ruin your board with
crummy ding repairs ever again. | Photo:
@boardbandages
Do you have surfboards with holes but don't know
how to fix? I know the feeling!
Five weeks ago, ish, a New Yorker turned Dana Point
transplant, Brad Pierson, entered my mailbox with a
proposal.
He asked, would I accept advertising from his little company
Board Bandages? I examined his
website and I discovered the company makes colourful band-aids for
surfboards. This appealed to me very much.
Periodically, I’ll try to repair a hole in my surfboard, buy all
the ingredients, pursue with gusto and so forth, only to ruin my
pretty sleds with waterfalls of resin, destroy a patch of grass and
be thirty bucks down.
As it happens, a photographer pal of
mine had wanted to produce a
BeachGrit-branded metallic ding tape, sourced from Japan
where he had worked as a professional model. I thought it a fine
idea and I don’t know why we didn’t pursue it.
Brad Pierson, who is thirty five years old “but my joints say
sixty seven”, and who stands at a paltry
five-foot-seven-inches, told me he liked BeachGrit
very much (flattery always succeeds) and I asked if he could send
his product to me for testing.
The board bandages come in a sheet, which you peel off and apply
to your surfboard.
It’s so easy I only marginally screwed it up fixing a busted
tail.
I like it. Yes! We take your money. I’ll even throw in an
advertorial interview!
Which is here.
BeachGrit: Tell me
everything!
Brad: I started developing Board Bandages almost a
year ago but, only brought them to market two months ago. The idea
came from using random stickers as ding repair and a pure hatred
for Solarez. I kept replacing stickers on the same ding over and
over again after they’d peel off, crack, etc. When I gave that up
and went to use some Solarez I had bought a month or so
prior, I found it exploded in my trunk all over a brand new set of
Futures. My now business partner and life-long friend had told me
of an amazing adhesive he had developed for some stickers and we
just kind of started kicking around the idea. We then developed the
textured top sheet for the bandages and voila! (For the Millennials
in the room that means the idea was “lit” and we were “ ‘bout that
lyf”)
Talk me through the specifics of ‘em. What are
they made of, how big a hole can you fix?
When you pick them up you’d notice similar qualities
to a thick sticker. What sets them apart is our proprietary
textured top sheet and incredible adhesive. The top sheet’s texture
allows for the Board Bandages to be waxed almost better than your
actual board. However, it is also extremely hydrophobic so water
beads right off, making it perfect for any ding, anywhere! Our
adhesive goes on and stays on! (Do I sounds like Billy Mays yet?
Well, before he died.) The original test bandage has literally been
on one of my boards for a year. Hasn’t faded. Hasn’t peeled. Still
cute (Derek’s words not mine). Plus, when you’re ready to take your
board to your shaper they’ll come off without leaving a mess or
residue.
But wait! There’s more!
We also offer the ability to brand Board Bandages
however you’d like. So, if a shop wanted their logo on it, we could
do it. If Chas wanted the Stab logo so he could channel
anger before every wave, we could do it. If Derek wanted a photo of
Chas being angry at Stab to channel joy before every wave,
we could do it. Just use our little template and send it over. As
far as size goes, we make them in two packs right now: Shortboard
and Longboard. The Shortboard pack contains four unique shapes to
accommodate dings on almost any part of your board while the
Longboard pack contains the four Shortboard shapes as well as two
much larger, longer shapes. We’re currently developing a SUP pack
as well. Ya know, just in case some period blood gets on Laird
while he’s shredding and a shark takes a nibble. We got you and
your scientifically sound logic homie! On top of that we’re
currently producing a custom Board Bandage to protect the entire
hull of a ten-foot boat.
Get ’em with logos etc.
What was the process of turning your idea into
an actual biz?
Once we had finalized the material, shapes and first
round of packaging, we put together a few demo packs and started
handing them out to friends and local shops for feedback. Once we
felt set we basically did all the boring crap people do to set up
businesses. Come to think of it, I’ve never gotten any completed
forms back. So, who knows, maybe I’m not an actual business.
Is it all yours? Did you have to kick in much
money? Is it a full-time gig?
It’s just me and my business partner and we both have
other gigs for now. The goal is to make this my only gig, employ
all my friends, buy 42 Album Surfboards and go on a twenty-three
year bender.
