I don't like their tubes and I don't like their turns.
(This piece first appeared on Breitbart News)
Call me racist but I don’t like watching short people surf and this goes from Adriana de Souza all the way to Silvana Lima. I don’t like their turns I don’t like their tubes I don’t like their little arms holding trophies at the end of contests. I don’t like any of it and this goes from Keanu Asing all the way to Tyler Wright.
Go ahead. Tell me I’m a giant sexist pig but I ain’t backing down.
Now, I don’t necessarily like watching tall people surf either and this goes all the way from Owen Wright to Chas Smith. We look like flimsy willows about to blow right over all elbows and assholes but short people are worse. They look like they are garden gnomes who have been glued to their boards.
Be my guest. Paint me a homophobe. It won’t stop the way I feel.
Because I feel that there should be professional surfing height limits like there are at Legoland. You must be over 70 inches and under 75 inches in order to take the ride (for men) and over 65 inches and under 70 inches (for women).
This would be more pleasing for everyone. We could all truly and genuinely enjoy the show. Sure it is not the “politically correct” opinion but it is the right one. And one worth being branded a xenophobe to hold.
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with ya on this.
but – factcheck – tyler wright is not short !
Get the Fuck outta here Chas. We all know you’ve got a hard on for Felipe.
“They look like they are garden gnomes who have been glued to their boards.”
That one got me good
Is this why 5’5″mini mike is no longer your mail boy ?
I beg to differ. Nothing better than Owen Wright’s projected full rail roundhouse, for mine.
God bless you, Chas. you’re like a lesbian Ben Shapiro.
If you don’t like short people why do you insist on riding their tiny surfboards?
fuck that. if you’re fat just put more volume in your 5’10”
again, i am an adult trying to get some nutrition into the children. short stubby boards are for short stubby people. if you are long and lean, ride a long, lean board.
just fit in there
He’s embarassing himself in two different ways. 1: being a racist or 2: being a lazy writer and don’t paying attention to the name of his subject. Or maybe both.
I only take criticism from Longtom these days.
Longtom is like 5′ 2″.
Is this true? Hell.
….so it’s an ironic ‘Long’, like in Robin Hood?
[or we ain’t talking height, nudge etc]
Really? I only buy my weed from him. And at 5’10” I tower above him. So it’s more a stand-over transaction.
longtom has dibs on criticism.
Nick has dibs on cynicism.
NUG has dibs on realism.
Drrrk has dibs on dubs.
We. Well.
Jimmy. Im actually a fan of you. But this time you are definitley being self righteous/ indignant. Please laugh a little.
Hey, Nice! E-mail me: [email protected]
ooohhh the almighty flex!
Most of the current WSL is vertically challenged. The average height is 5-9 or less? Sure we have outliers in Jordy Tarzan Smith and Owen Wright but for the most part it’s a jockey convention. The midgets on tour all seem to come from a certain country in South America. My theory is the nutrition was lacking in childhood stunting potential growth. Mr Holy Toledo looks 5-5 and 140 at most. Obviously a huge advantage in gutless surf.
And they always list their height at least 2 inches taller
When the normal height guys are spending their formative years getting in about the chicks, the little guys are smashing out their frustration on lips of a different kind.
Dear Chas, you’re not racist because you don’t like short people.
You are a fucking racist because you write the name of the 2015 world champ “Adriana” instead of the correct “Adriano”, and we all know that you know the right name.
You racist.
It was going to be worse/better. Adriana Lima.
It was going to be even more forced then.
right. he only ever pokes fun at brazilian surfers…
Being a tall surfer I understand your point, I’m sick of seeing my little mates getting pitted, wankas
give ’em a break. they’re short. those pits are all they’ve got going for them.
It’s true. Whilst I have always considered my height to be a relative disadvantage to surfing, it has been counterbalanced by actual life.
i am a tall skinny dude (getting less skinny everyday) and once heard a short buff guy snickering at the amount of weight i was lifting in the gym. i was so mad i told him he can lift all the weight he wants, he ain’t ever getting taller. it shook that dude to the core. i almost felt bad.
They can have the 2′ closeout tubs. I’m all about the levers.
Sheesh! We get it Chas Petty Smith. You won’t back down! Give it a rest already would ya!https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I’ve never been so honored in my life. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Don’t take the gesture lightly good fellow. Petty has been mailing it in lately. Yet, he’s got history. Mother fucker has never been to Yemen though! Suck it Tom!
Would have thought TP was the professional receding version of Kelly. Any relation to Richard?
I hated short people before they were the only group not supported by the left wing media surfing facsism BLM Movement. Its because they have no reason to live.