The perilous magic of being a non-surfer in a surfer's world!
Let’s drive the French Revolution metaphor into the dirt, yes? Last Tuesday, the WSL’s new CEO, the former tennis pro Sophie Goldschmidt, wrote a kind letter to surf fans explaining the surf ranch event, which appeared on the organisation’s website.
Let’s read a small part.
Today, we’ve brought a cross-section of the world’s best surfers here to test this groundbreaking new WSL facility, technology and also showcase what an event can be like and we’re very excited. Having the ability to replicate, even partially, the power and shape of ocean waves for anyone in the world, in any location and at any time is a truly magical thing.
One thing that will never change for the WSL, however, is that surfing in the ocean remains foundational to what the WSL is and we will always have ocean competitions. As this technology continues to evolve, we see significant opportunities in the competitive arena…and we look forward to bringing you along with us when that happens.
But while the tone of the letter was beige with the business-speak that so bedevilled Billabong and Quiksilver and SurfStitch as they chased corporate gold, I found it charming in its inoffensiveness.
Readers on the WSL site, however, were stirred into action.
Oh they combusted!
From Mik:
Sophie:
since you have no idea what’s happening in the surf world, here’s a plan:
find out how many viewers are online @ each location
find out the total cost of award money plus cost of event staging
find out the total income from advertisers
then determine a fee for online access to @ event, and package deal for entire season.
If there’s a million viewers, then $5 per event / $29 entire season.
no fee for wave pool event. because we’re not paying, and after 10 minutes,we’re not watching.
eliminate the shit waves and replace with Indo or similar. cheaper because less scaffolding costs. film from boats.
maintain contest structure and overall sequence. it works.
get rid of the 3 of 5 Aussie Judge bias: throw Porta overboard and 1 other Aussie Judge — whomever else is also most blatantly crook. replace with equal representation from USA Oz Hawaii Brazil EU; all former pro surfers.
And again,
Yeah. wave pools are fun. this one is the best.
but what happens if there are 50 of them in the USA; and they are training 200 newbies a month. 12 x 200 = 2400 newbies a year x 50 wave-ranches = 120,000 new surfers a year, with skills, heading to the better surf spots, of which there may be 30 truly good spots in CA. That’s 40,000 potential more people heading your way. The first year.
Do the math, know it all.
I can surf BTW. Cloud break, Pipeline, Indo, entire West Coast… Probably better than you…
And I’m not stoked about this possibility.
The WSL is dreaming if they think people will watch wave pool events in the same way as real surf spots. They’ll watch 15 minutes, and done.
If Sophie doesn’t realize this, then the WSL just hired a CEO-clone of Carly Fiorina.
Ask HP how that went?
John: How does this not end up like Olympic snowboarding? ( how can we make sure this doesn’t become sanitized and predictable? )
Bad Medicine: Thank you for taking us back 22 years to a classic AOL style live blog and chatroom style event that most of the readers of this comment section were not even alive to witness at the time. At least the video clips are higher res!
And, cuttingly…
Nicholas Tee: Welcome Sophie …. which waves were you surfing in London?
The perilous magic of a non-surfer in a surfer’s world!
Sensitive gentleman of the jury, let me ask: will the new CEO last?
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Fuck the wsl!
Is kellys plan going to backfire on him? it seems most Surfers aren’t even really interested in pro surfing in the real ocean let alone a wave tank.
Maybe it’s all for the best, that way we can all just go surfing and not worry about it.
there will be a new 3 letter combination trying to sell pro surfing before the 2019/2020 north shore season is completed. we are only a half-click better than the lids at this point.
Seems weird to me to single Sophie out for criticism or praise (as in a recent Stab piece). Yeah she’s the captain of the ship, but the boat has been heading for these waters for a while now.
If anyone is to blame it’s Gabriel Medina.
This is fucking next-level web content genius. Swear to god, no snark, I’m dead serious. It’s literally just re-pubbing the comments from another web site, and boom – clicks. The WSL should put you in charge, DR.
I swear my perverted mind read: “Revolting surf fans turned on by new CEO” when looking at Kirsten Dunst.
Damn you!
Here I was thinking that was a photo of Sophie with one of her already impressive fans , and that there was hope for the WSL , in changing its format , more of Sophie and less machoness!
Could someone please (politely) remind me why we ‘need’ the WSL or any equivalent at all?
the purpose of the WSL and the surf industry is to promote consumerism around the world.
Ever notice how every new surf discovery eventually turns into capitalist shit show?
The cia created surfer mag and probably this site too
What if part of the ‘training course’ is doing JJF’s Hollywood shuffle for 20m?
(Puts on worried face)
Fuck the WSL. I’m going back to my banjo.
Actually, fuck the WSL, I’m taking up bodyboarding to try and regain some street cred.
Dragging 4 life
lyfe
Maybe the WSL doesn’t need to be run by a surfer, given its hemorrhaging cash and has no real path to profit. Maybe the WSL needs a smart pro-sports operator that has the commercial savvy to try and turn the thing around before it tanks for good.
Sounds crazy, right?
Yeah, based on her CV I think Sophie has more of a shot than most. While I’m not close to the industry, there haven’t been a lot of recent success stories of large surfer run businesses.
What, like Paul Speaker?
While I’m not close to it Sophie would seem to have broader experience than Paul Speaker with more sports codes which has to help.
Surfing has been rife with xenophobes since forever. No different here.
Bring on our competitive pool surfing overlords! We’ll have something new to complain about/fear.
Probably depends on how long they’re prepared to lose money for / if its possible to ever be profitable.
for Queen and country
Meanwhile in the middle of Germany they’ve been training grommes in cutback to air combinations right under our old man noses!! http://citywave.de/
Seriously this is the future, like it or not- indoor, viewer friendly, much cheaper to run than KSWP and I predict will shortly have a moving base/bottom that could produce thick pits to ramp sections dialed on punters request.
I’m not sure it’s surfing but I’d give it a go.
I heard that a lot when I was in Thailand, mostly in a British accent.
Mik is a genius
Runts weaned on the teats of mechanical bulls will abhor the feckless capriciousness of the analog realm. Confounded and starved they will quickly retreat back to the fetid ponds that spawned them.
…and while we’re on the big words, “foundational” ?
Is that like, the new ‘Squirt’?
Did you accidentally swallow a thesaurus? Do you need assistance?
Any one who tells you they “accidentally” swallowed a thesaurus is lying.
No just 2 NorCo,1 flexoril, and 4 big bottles of Cooper Stout homebrew.
I like the cut of his jib.
100% with ya on that one Mike. Big problem though, she doesn’t know what an “indo” is.
11 year old Chinese kids are going to be hucking double corks in those pools in 2 years and then promptly and decisively drowning in the real ocean.
That would be a good mean to control China’s population.
Kelly’s oompa loompas are still working on “paddle out at Ocean Beach” mode with the 11 wave sets
Oh man… The Simpsons is a bible to almost all things today…
Burn that Witch!!!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Sophie is so god damned inoffensive, I’m
totally offended!
I think “I’m a great surfer* but I’m worried about someone learning to surf in a pool then catching all my ocean waves a few short years later” might be my favourite argument to come from all of this.
*insecure grumpy old guy who’s not a great surfer, longing for the good old days
the good old days he never actually experienced
This phrase accurately describes the attitude of no less than 2/3 of the American populace.
Doesn’t it describe human nature? Rose-tinted glasses and all that.
it takes on even more credence when things actually are going in the shitter for most people though. every time I hear somebody complain online there’s somebody else saying “but you have an iPhone now” (so it doesn’t matter that you can’t afford housing or healthcare)
Watch out or Brzezinski will be onto you!
lucky him. It was shit
All I’m trying to say is i just moved right next to the damn ocean, and the waves. still. Fucking.suck. will i get lucky once tommorow? Maybe but if i could just drive knowing i was going to actually get barreled (vein moment) have documentation of said barrel and actually have an adrenaline rush instead of getting too high going out blowing it on the wrong board,wrong fin set up. Dudes on paddleboards coming at me like u-boats while a fucking bullshark circles me. How much do they want is the real question.