Were no heartland surfers at the Future Classic? Let's look!
Have you already begun painting your signs for our resistance People’s March on Lemoore? What slogans are you using? I think “We Are Surfing’s 99%” is a good one, if you haven’t decided yet. “Resist Genetically Modified Surfing!” is another. A third? What about “Let America Surf!” because did you know that there might not have been one professional surfer who makes his or her home in the contiguous 48 in the Future Classic?
Could it be true?
Nate Yeomans, salt-of-the-earth fella who sometimes sports a truly American handlebar moustache took to Instagram yesterday, writing:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BZWRVO-BJTn/?taken-by=bigdeluxe_
I think we can all agree to that @kswaveco pretty much looks like the best thing ever. The event the other day looked all time!!! Question? Did anyone else think it was extremely odd that this wave pool sits smack dab in the middle of the Golden state, but yet there wasn’t a single mainland American involved in the event???
If this thing was located down under and not a single Aussie was involved I’m sure you would have heard an up roar. At least a good ribbing from a couple close mates. Am I just a Jealous Seppo that somehow wishes a golden ticket would come my way? Either way, I believe there are plenty of well qualified men and women that would gladly chuck some tail with the best of them.
And yes, Nate, I thought it was odd. I thought it was odd that the World Surf League took the people’s pastime, shared in God’s blue ocean under God’s yellow sun, without thought to race, religion, color or creed and put it in an exclusive swimming pool. I thought it was odd that they put that exclusive pool in the heartland of America where hard working ranchers and farmers toil for the nation. I thought it was odd that they built a severe wall around it and served ice-cold Michelob Ultras to the hyper-wealthy inside, who had flown there on private jets, while the people outside strained their necks for even the blurriest glimpse and that I only had warm Veuve to slake my thirst.
I thought it was odd that Kolohe Andino, Connor Coffin, Nat Young, each more American than the last, were left at home, quietly humming the Star Spangled Banner to themselves. Tears in their patriotic eyes.
I THOUGHT IT WAS ODD THAT…
Oh wait. Kelly Slater just weighed in:
5/18 surfers were American (excluding me who was injured). Weird post. Kind of complimentary and kind of backhanded.
And lots of other people weighed in too, listing Courtney, Kanoa, Sage, etc. who were there behind the wall drinking ice-cold Michelob Ultras with the upper crust. And Nate then laughed and said the above post will be the end of his ranting on social media career.
Shit.
Well… don’t let this cool your fire. The march is still on we’ll just sort out a third slogan to use. Maybe, “Mr. Slater… Tear Down This Wall!” Or “My Body My Choice!”
What do you think?
