Best of: The Inertia love letter to Stab!

Love is a many splendored thing!

I’m sorry… I know this isn’t “content” but I just can’t get enough of The Inertia‘s love quarrel letter to Stab. I mean, am I the only one here who thinks this is even better than a Gabriel Medina victory? Even better than 10 Gabriel Medina victories?

A quick recap. Stab wanted to contribute to its partner (like BeachGrit contributes to Surfer) and the very funny Brendan Buckley wrote a piece suggesting dolphin and surfer brains are wired the same. The Inertia published. Stab giggled while back-peddling. The Inertia got hurt and founder Zach Weisberg wrote a letter.

Here are my favorite lines.

1) At 10:21 PM Friday night, just after I booked a flight home to the East Coast for a funeral for a family member I love very much, I was notified that our neighbors at Stab had played us for fools.

2) In my estimation, life’s too short for that nonsense.

3) We are not the guys snickering in the back corner of the bus pointing and laughing and high-fiving at other’s expense.

4) I was taught at a very early age that it’s not fulfilling to shit on other people for your own amusement.

5) And while celebrating a fake contribution that slipped through our system is a dickish thing to do, I want to thank Stab for doing it.

6) I’m sure the sweethearts at Stab are clinking beers and smiling at how they succeeded in making us look like assholes.

7) Starting today, we will enforce a series of stricter protocols for contributions, which will slow that process but will ensure a higher caliber of quality and accuracy in our content.

8) For too long, (surf) seemed to be dictated by a small group of white men in Orange County obsessed with the fleeting and vacuous nature of “cool,” which we believe undersold the rich, diverse culture of the sport.

9) I sincerely do not give a fuck.

10) If you and your embittered shadow choose to perpetuate a mindlessly exclusive mentality that spits on bright-eyed participants who stand outside imaginary lines drawn in the sand, that’s your prerogative.

11) I sincerely do not give a fuck.

12) We believe the coolest thing we can do is treat people with kindness and respect, approach work with optimism, and pursue things we care deeply about with curiosity and an open mind.

13) I sincerely do not give a fuck.

14) That’s our promise.

……….I’m sorry. I am laughing so hard I can’t breathe and have to stop….

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
46 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Doobalachy
Doobalachy
8 years ago

Ha he really is an A grade jock

Albert Munz
Albert Munz
8 years ago

That’s all kind of interesting but what about man and sea mammal?

I gots to know.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Sometimes nonsense is the only thing that makes life worth living.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
8 years ago

neither is the USA!

david fffff
david fffff
8 years ago

This dude is such a pussy, love how he invokes family death for… sympathy? Take a joke, Zach, most of America has forgot irreverence is necessary for comedy, thankfully Stab hasn’t.

capn birdseye
capn birdseye
8 years ago

Didn’t Sam have a similar cry about Beachgrit picking on he and Stab all the time? I believe it was an interview in some droll as fuck industry website?

SkepticallyOptimistic777
SkepticallyOptimistic777
8 years ago

In regards to those imaginary lines in the sand…sounds like he’s still stuck outside of them. Poor fella just wants to be part of the tribe…and um…to exploit it. Lol

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
8 years ago

don’t they all cough. BG. cough

Eddie Solt
Eddie Solt
8 years ago

First time commentator. Long time listener. (Rory once posted a video of my fat ass longboarding a few years ago as favor to an old high school friend who owns a brewery in the South Bay–my claim to beachgrit fame– thinking about the comments makes me warm and fuzzy inside.). Anyway, I put on a traditional longboard contest in Hermosa Beach honoring the South Bay’s place in surf history. In one of the promotional interviews I did, I mention that people should visit events like the contest I was throwing to experience surf culture–and not relay on websites like the inertia to define your perception of surf culture. After reading these two postings regarding the inertia’s rebuttal to Stab’s trolling, a vague memory from the day of the contest came back to me. While I was focusing on getting the contest underway, I overhead a man come to the sign-up table staking claim that he was from the inertia or something like that. I turned around, shook my head, and went back to organizing heat sheets. The man continued on the lines, “you guys don’t know what the inertia,?” (my two volunteers, silverbacked as can be, had no clue–nor cared). This man ended, “Well it was started by the online editor Zach…” from there I left to, I think, help out with another canopy or something and missed the end of the conversation.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Solt

Welcome!

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Solt

If there was ever a ‘culture’ of surf, where I grew up it was giving shit to all your mates and taking shit from all your mates and riding waves.

Eddie Solt
Eddie Solt
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

I agree. I wish it was just as simple as that now-a-days. The self-indulgent social media phenomena of creating oneself as their own idol for an audience of no-one or “follower” numbers equal to a school girl in Iowa has really dampened the culture. I’ve had mates fall victim to thinking they are a brand—I talked way too much shit and had to pulled the plug on my information super highway personality. But let me pump the brakes…yes, surfing to the purest form should be catching waves and talking shit to your friends and not being butt-hurt and taking it reciprocally while enjoying a good fucking beer. No Venice-adjacent or any surf media source can define that shit. OK, maybe in a good advertorial that gives me the urge to buy clothing way too hip for my fat ass.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Solt

please be brief.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Solt

tldr

Chazz Michael Michaels
Chazz Michael Michaels
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Solt

Yet you obviously spend a degree of time reading Beachgrit. Curious.

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
8 years ago

Fuck. What a move. Pause to celebrate the sale of Stab. They bought their balls back!

I love the part about the “white guys in Orange County”. Are white guys in Orange County different from white guys in Venice, North County SD or Sydney?

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
8 years ago
Reply to  Black Rubber

yes. smaller dicks.

claimbridge_analytica
claimbridge_analytica
8 years ago

Don’t apologize, we share your glee for this exchange.

turts
turts
8 years ago

I don’t get it. Is Zach not intelligent enough to understand humour?

Jen See
Jen See
8 years ago

Oh. I am slow. I didn’t understand this the first time at all. Now. Oh. I think espresso just went up my nose actually!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  Jen See

You’re drinking it wrong.

I’m savouring the commentary so I can read it when the hubbub has died down and double my smirking giggles. Can someone make a copy in case it gets disappeared please?

Tibbles
Tibbles
8 years ago

Not gonna lie, read this hurt feelings piece from chief whiningberg and have spent the last 36 hours pissing myself. The gift that keeps on giving

Lolo
Lolo
8 years ago

The opener is all time! So many issues in one line. The OCD in quoting the EXACT time. The funeral! The east coast flight! The VERY MUCH love!!!

And all without even the slightest of fucks 😂😢

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Can anyone imagine John Severson writing with such, er, force?

Preston
Preston
8 years ago

Well it looks like the Inertia business model just got exposed for what it is. Free content is free for a reason.

East of the 5
East of the 5
8 years ago
Reply to  Preston

Because it’s absolute nonsense. If you have ProTec fins, a SurfTech board, and a Subaru you too can be a “contributor” to The Inertia.

Wiggolly's Paddling Style
Wiggolly's Paddling Style
8 years ago

Fuck sake. These guys are a joke. Stop making me look at their petty existence. By the way did you hear Morgan hung himself? I’m having a party to celebrate at 3pm today.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

I’ll bring the bulbs!

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago

Hear your pain, this made me google inertia to find the article, biannual link. But wading through their other shit hurt my brain. Some guy’s article about how this year is gonna be all-time El Nino surf *except terms and conditions it might not happen at all coz Mother Nature is a moody bitch. Scientific motherfucker. I thought my local surf reporter was full retard but there he goes upping the ante

A-rock Newman
A-rock Newman
8 years ago

Sounds like he very much gives a fuck

slater thenewdonkey
slater thenewdonkey
8 years ago
Reply to  A-rock Newman

Very, very very many fucks given. That is all that letter is, fucks given all over the place.

turts
turts
8 years ago

Zach: the fuck that keeps giving.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  turts

He writes a long letter. Then says zero fucks given. Sincerely, still don’t give a fuck

Psychology 101: Straight Edge

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago

Fuck! how’s the funeral card

He’s the Gabriel Medina of passive aggression.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Ha! Starting with the funeral is truly next level passive-aggression. He might be the king of the genre.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

well at least he knows a white man when he sees one

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

what if he has suntan?

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

..and the caveat “of a family member that I loved very much”. Like, not just one of those you know, like, “shit gotta fly back home for a fuckin’ funeral” funerals. You know, a real “poor me” funeral.

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Fuck those dead relatives can be a pain in the ass

Jocks
Jocks
8 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Nick, that’s insulting Gabriel

Jerz
Jerz
8 years ago

“10) If you and your embittered shadow choose to perpetuate a mindlessly exclusive mentality that spits on bright-eyed participants who stand outside imaginary lines drawn in the sand, that’s your prerogative.”

Yeah, that mindlessly exclusive mentality that STAB clearly wanted to show the tiny world of surf that The Inertia has no regard whatsoever for fact checking or owning anything resembling an editorial standard. The age of the Internet is beginning to rear the ugly consequences Chas and I fear we’re far too deep down the rabbit hole to come out the other side. Just blame others for being shitty at your job and do like the *president does…

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago
Reply to  Jerz

or you could say , as I am not intelligent enough to understand most of what “Arty” Zach says , that,” one mans nonsense is another man humour,” and all the those eloquent phrases and big words, do not hide our prerogative to laugh at Zach’s perception of what he stands for , which is a rather narrow minded douche!

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
8 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

takes one to know one nah nah nah

Brutus
Brutus
8 years ago
Reply to  DrunkenAngel

exactly , that’s why I can identify with him , we have a contest in Australia , who is the best Bullshit Artist , which is the only type of Artist I associate with!!!


46
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x